okay me and my guy was together for like 3 years and we need some time apart not broke up but just apart well while that time he was with some friends and got really messed up bad and there was this girl and she like waited until he was messed up bad and seduced him... right away he called me and told me exactly what had happened should i forgive him?? I have to a cerain point but i always think about it and it upsets me we are back together and this happened last summer he does not hang out with those friends anymore... was that cheating or was it just a **** up
2006-07-03 16:41:08 · 11 answers · asked by Nikki 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I think you should forgive him if he doesnt have a history of that kind of behavior and it was just a one time thing. Everyone makes mistakes.
2006-07-03 16:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by justmyjusrty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have a lot of time invested in this relationship so it's hard for you to just give it up without a fight. It may be worth saving but so is your life. So he slept with another girl when he was "messed up." Was he so messed up that he didn't wear a condom? When he gets messed up, does he risk getting you and other women pregnant? Are you willing to forgive him if he fathers children on other women? Are you willing to forgive him if he passes along a sexually transmitted disease to you, including AIDS which is a death sentence? Remember, when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone else he ever slept with.
Maybe you do need some time apart, and maybe you should think about counseling to find out if this relationship has a future. But don't just forgive him out of hand. Think it through. After all, he got messed up on his own and if you sincerely think the other girl seduced an unwilling partner, then you'll believe everything else he tells you and the only future will be his.
2006-07-03 16:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by CarolO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was not cheating since you were seperated.
However, if you were seperated for a short time when he did this I would say leave him. If it was a while then he is o.k.
See a man can use all kinds of excuses; I was drunk, I don't know how it happened, ect ect.
I don't know your situation, but I am going to make a guess. He decided to have this little seperation of yours, not you. The reason I say this is some men won't cheat on thier girl, instead some of them will have these little seperations so they can. No I'm not saying all men cheat or want to, all I'm saying is that some men use this method.
These men will eventually start cheating.
As for short time, long time goes it's easy. Within a short time they might be vunerable, but in any relationship there will be times of vunerabilities. This is no excuse.
Long time; after a while you actually become broken up. This means it's o.k. to be seduced.
Lastly I want to point out 1 last thing.
It doesn't matter how messed up he got that is not an excuse. I mean if you guys get married and one day he went out drinking with his buds and got messed up. Whos to say he wouldn't cheat then.
2006-07-03 17:02:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough, if you know he is truly sorry then I would say forgiveness is the best, but I can imagine its still really hard dealing with the emotions you still have from that, and if that's the case I would sit down with him and lovingly tell him that your not trying to put him through a guilt trip but you still feel upset. That way you can start to work to work through some of than emotion that could be getting in the way of forgiveness
2006-07-03 16:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by anyone got nickname suggestions? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say forgive him....he told you everything that happened and he was messed up, thus rendering him uncontrollable of his actions. and if he doesn't even hang around those friends anymore that should be a little bit of a hint. it wasn't cheating....like you said, it was a time apart. i'm sure he's very faithful to you. give him a chance and do the best you can to turn a blind eye on what happened.
2006-07-03 16:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it relies upon on you. Do you actually pick that awesome over your head throughout the time of the courting? if you're able to forgive AND overlook, it really is tremendous, yet be careful about how a lot have self belief you install him. Be prepared because he would do it lower back. in case you do not pick to manage each and every of the heartache, attempt to locate yet another honest guy it truly is nicely worth loving. There are extra available, you in straightforward words ought to make an attempt to seem.
2016-11-05 21:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nikki - you have to turn the story around and make like it happened to you. If you had been in his place - would you want him to forgive you? I bet it was just a **** up - since he does not hang around them any more. If he was still hanging with them - then I would find it hard to believe it was not a **** up. Hope it works out!
2006-07-03 16:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Gladiator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, being messed up is just an excuse to get you to forgive him. She can only seduce him if he allows her to seduce him. Actions have consequences and you should kick him to the curb.....once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-07-03 16:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by Larry M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasnt messed up yall were not together...being together is that you would have not seperated so really you have no choice but to forgive.
2006-07-03 16:47:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lady_6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was cheating, and if he is getting so "messed up" that he claims to not know what he is doing, then maybe you need to rethink your relationship with him.
2006-07-03 16:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋