She always tries to "get even" and it's worse than ever could be. She'll twist logic, change reasons, all to thwart my time with my son. Any way to lessen this without caving in to her plans?
2006-07-03 15:27:19 · 9 answers · asked by ar423jan2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, first of all keep her out of ALL your business. You have to get her to the point that she knows nothing about your personal life, this takes away her ammo.
2nd, talk to her about the kids only, and keep that conversation business like also. When she takes her shots, and she will, you have to man up and not let it affect you. You have to do this until your kids are old enough that you don't have to go through her anymore.
The less emotion you show, the more ineffective she will become.
2006-07-03 18:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a court order stating access visits etc? If not, I'd get one, that way you have the law to fall back on. All I can say is that in the end, it will be your ex who will be punished. I've seen women who limit access and speak badly of their ex to their kids. As the kids grow, they become resentful at the mother for trying to spoil the relationship they have with their father. Your son will see his mother for the nasty person she is, in time. Just don't play her games, laugh at her and tell her she's acting like a spoilt child. The less you buy into & show anger toward her behaviour, the more it will annoy her. Be a good role model for your son & be an adult in this (which clearly she is not).
2006-07-03 22:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by lillyflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem, still do sometimes. I went to my yellow pages and contacted a family mediator. The courts can force her to go due to the children involved. This has now put everything into prospective because all issues were taken care of by the mediator and the mediator has the authority to make then court orders. Since we have done this there really aren't many things she can complain about or put kinks into. Good luck, buzz me with my screen name I have been dealing with this for 5 years and becoming very successful with it all now!! BTW what state are you in? trishinmid@yahoo.com
2006-07-03 22:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by Trisha J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to never give in.Once you do she will not give up.The more she knows she can push you and you take it the more she will sock it to you.I went thru this for 5 years with my husbands ex.She threaten to take the kids from him or call him all kinds of names or both.If he didnt just jump when she said jump.He was to always inform her of everything that was going on in his life and if she didnt like it he better change it or else no kids this week.And she knew that was the only thing she could do to hurt him was use the kids against him.He loved them so much and was so afraid she would take them and believe me even at times he would try and buck up to her and for his punishment he might not see his kids for a couple of weeks.She even picked his girlfriends before i came along.And she hated me and he went thru a lot of hell we broke up several times over it.I finally told him to really call her bluff stand up for yourself for a change and dont give in no matter how damn bad it gets she will come off her *** i swear.So finally he had enough and said he wasnt going to do anymore things for her or let her control who she should date and if she didnt like it then she could just keep the kids and he would see her in court.Well her eyes got big and oh she huffed and puffed and she kept the kids away for about 3 weeks and it was hard on my husband and he wanted to call many times but i told him just wait and finally guess what she called and was begging for him to come and get the kids.And every since then she dont say a word she tries every once in awhile i guess to see if she can do it one more time but he dont give her a chance.And things are way better.So dont let her think she has you by the balls.Cause she will use it to her full advantage.Stand up to her and if nothing else get a lawyer and proove to her you mean bussiness and your not taking her crap anymore!!
2006-07-03 22:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, give her his/her number and tell her to talk to them. Then don't talk to her anymore other than to make the appointments for visiting your kids. When she doesn't follow the rules or tries to involve you in debates, call your lawyer.
2006-07-03 22:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by chris m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like a war diplomacy then action stand up for whats right and let go anything spiteful these are your kids so stand like a rock. good luck and stay calm.
2006-07-03 22:35:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was u i would file something in court contentment charges aganist her (if u have a court order). If u don't then i would get one. u are tryin to b a good father and it's her dumb @ss fault that she cant c that.
2006-07-03 22:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by tapthisphatazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and I don't want to go back..
If u have achance to get custody of the kids..Go for it...
That's the only way it will stop..
2006-07-03 22:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You 're sh*t out of luck.
2006-07-03 22:31:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋