need to vent !?

Question

i have been trying to concive for 1.5 years and we still havent had a baby he does not want to go to any doctors saying that he wants to try it the natural way i have very irregular periods and can barly keep track of my ovulation but we have sex every day. every cycle i take a test always negative. i can not stress about how much i want a child but it seems as more time goes by it is not going to happen!

Answer 1

Before you see a doctor, a little information will be very helpful. Please read _Taking Charge of Your Fertility_ by Toni Weschler. It will help you determine (to a degree) when and if you are most fertile. You should read the book *anyway* before resorting to fertility treatments; it will likely save you time, money, and discomfort if you do get medical help. And it should keep him happy because you aren't going to a doctor. If you *do* discover something that you can't treat "naturally", maybe he'll be more willing to go the medical route.

In the meantime, stop having sex every day. If you really want a baby, and that isn't working for you so far, try once every other day. It may help. If your husband is very fertile, then once a day will give you your best shot, but if he is low'ish, then once every other day is better. Since you don't know (I assume *he* hasn't had a sperm count, either?), and you've been doing one, try the other.

I hope this helps. Good luck!!

Answer 2

Okay, first things first... RELAX! I had this very same problem. One of the problems might be the fact that you're having sex everyday. His sperm count gets lower and lower if you do it everyday. Try every other day. Second, try putting a pillow under your bum during sex. That might work also. But you need to relax. Your body senses stress that causes your periods to become irregeular and it messes with you reproductive system. ( sounds strange but it actually does. I stressed for a year about becoming pregnant. Then, I had to calm down because it seriously was making me depressed! Stop trying and enjoy your sex life for a bit. It might just happen when you least expect it. It did for me. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!! :)

Answer 3

Go to your gynocologist without telling him. Have your yearly exam and talk to the doctor about your having trouble conceiving. She should be able to give you some professional advice and maybe even help you out in the process. Meanwhile, stop stressing yourself out! Stress is bad for making babies! Chill out and try to enjoy being with your husband again! If you keep having problems, go back to your doctor and make your husband go with you. Sometimes, alternative methods are the only way. But you'll never have any answers if you don't go to the doctor first. Good luck!

Answer 4

You need to go to a doctor. Go without telling him if you have to. You've tried and it isn't happening.

Besides, going to a doctor doesn't mean you won't be able to do it the natural way. They can tell you how to boost your chances of conceiving the natural way. And, if your periods are irregular, you may not be ovulating at all, and there are medicines that can help that. If it were me, I'd talk to my husband about his fear of going to the doctor. Maybe he's afraid that they'll find it's his fault or something.

Really, go to the doctor so they will help you boost your chances of conceiving. Most couples can successfully conceive within a year.

Best wishes to you and you family that will hopefully grow soon!

Answer 5

It's time to see a doctor. It might not even be you. Maybe he's just affraid of hearing that you two can't ever have kids. If your realy concerned, go to a doctor without him. Just to be sure that its not you. If the doctor says your fine. Then sit down and talk to your husband. I come from a very superstitious family. So if your really desperate...try having sex on a rug and not on the bed! I know it sounds weird but it worked for my aunt.

Answer 6

Ok let me tell you my story!! It might make you feel better!! It's hard for me to conceive but I was taking birth control for a while!! About forgot to refill the pack and and got prego!! If you are patient then you will have a baby! And when hr founds you irresistible then you are ovulating and that is they best time to have sex!! We give off a sent to men that they don't even know they smell!! Like (in heat)! It's just human nature!! And good luck!

Answer 7

there's a great resource for this in a book that I bought a friend of mine that was having such a problem.

i can't remember the name of the book, but i ordered it through Barnes & Noble ( http://browse.barnesandnoble.com/browse/nav.asp?visgrp=nonfiction&N=234243&Ne=234198+234243&z=y ).

If there's a Barnes & Noble near you, you can sit in the store and read -- that way, you don't end up buying something that, after you get home with it, you find is not helpful.

Other bookstores may work for you, but B&N got me the best deal.

The book I'm thinking of is unimaginably thorough and offers simple, at-home techniques to determine when is best for you to try (and talks about the importance of your hubby "storing up" for a few days prior to the ideal time).

I know it isn't as easy as simply saying "okay," but you need to lower your stress level: increased emotional stress will wreak havoc with your body and signals that the environment may not be suitable for a newborn. That built-in programming is rough!

RE: ovulation & fertility, you may find the cervical mucus test to work best for you. if it doesn't take in 6 months or so (it should work sooner, but maybe not: don't sweat it until after 6 months has passed) -- get your ob/gyn to check you out: if everything is okay in your department, and you're following the plan the book lays out for getting pregnant, he's shooting blanks.

IF that is the case, you might consider adoption or using a sperm donor. obviously, there are various ways to take advantage of the latter option (some are potentially more fun than others, but some may not be appropriate for you)

best wishes!

Answer 8

Please relax & don't try so hard.
Stop thinking about it - so hard, it will happen when you least expect it.
Maybe you significant other needs to be tested to see what is sperm count is.
If all fails within 6 months, please seek a specialist - but in the mean time, don't think about it, just think about it as sex - don't just look at it as a conception.
Good luck!

Answer 9

1st read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Wechsler--great resource!

2nd visit http://www.tryingtoconceive.com

If you're hubby is reluctant to visit DR until you've tried absolutely everything else, you might be able to find something in one of those 2 resources that will help. Also, ask your OB/GYN about it even w/o your hubby.

Answer 10

get one of those home ovulation kits... but you should see a doctor cuz maybe you arent the problem... maybe its him. and maybe thats why he doesnt want to see a doctor... cuz he knows its him or is just afraid of it being him.