I am a young woman that have been married for 1yr. and I do love my husband. I have never been single every since I have been in the dating game. My husband betrayed my trust a little while back so I have mixed feelings about us. During the time of my hurt with him I met several men whom I like. I have a couple that now wants more and they know that I am not going anywhere. But I don't want them to go anywhere either. I know that that is selfish but this is just how I feel. I want to just do what I want to do and still be married. What shall I do?
2006-07-03 11:55:19 · 35 answers · asked by Treasure W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
youll settle down when you get kooties or well see you on the maury show cause you dont know who your baby daddy is...
2006-07-03 11:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care to read, I kind agree. Things are NOT "OK" U need help otherwise ur gonna end it after 1 year, what were u thinking? If u loved him, u wouldn't cheat. PERIOD. It's wrong, u married too soon. U can't have ur cake and eat it too. Except I don't see how people can't have fun when there married? Or have fun TOGETHER, U don't get a lot of time together. I want that more then anything so I don't understand singles, want to play the field. I want to be "tied down" as some call it. I would want to spend time w them, I mean u work all day, and sleep at night, the only other is sex, but for me it's not that great and even if it was, I'd want more. I agree w ty, and spyder. I don't think he's the one for you, the trust was broken? No reason to be a whore though. Ur not gonna get anything from cept an std.
2006-07-03 11:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by samantha wilson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do what you want to do and still stay married if what you want to do involves having sex with other men. Perhaps you have never really forgiven your husband for the hurt you suffered that he caused and you are cheating to get back at him. You have not been married very long, perhaps you rushed into things are are trying to sabotage it now. If you really love your husband and want it to work, then you should both go to marriage counseling. You need to get past the hurt or you will continue to lash out at him this way. Nothing good will come of you cheating, believe me, I know. If he will not go to counseling, even when you explain it could save your marriage, then it may be time to cut your losses and become legally entitled to live like a single woman.
2006-07-03 12:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by cathcoug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you could honestly stop if you wanted too! Yeah you can love your husband and still cheat, but you dont LOVE him for the right reasons! I think the first year is always hard, but that still doesn't mean go ahead and cheat! Maybe you should have waited to get married, Obvisiouly you realized that you didn't want to have sex with just him for the rest of your life! Honey you cant be cheating on your husband the one that trusts you and LOVES you and then come home and crawl in bed with him! How do u know you won't catch some diesase and bring it home! Your gonna end up not only hurting your husband but maybe yourself too! Just remember you Don't realize you have something until its GONE!!!!! Good luck I hope you figure out what you want in life, and I hope if its not your husband you can move on so he can too!
2006-07-03 18:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by brittanyj05cm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you ever should of gotten married. It sounds like sleeping around has been so part of your lifestyle that being faithful doesn't seen like a reasonable option for you. Do you know that some people mate with one and only one person the rest of their lives? It happens.
It sounds like you have no concept of what until death do we part, means. It means you are faithful to that one person. If you can't be, then don't choose marriage. You are so far off from knowing and understanding what marriage is. You have yourself in a world that doesn't reapect the marriage vows. How many married women get they self in a place where you have met several men.........and so on.
Figure out which world you belong in. Get some counseling.
Seems like you betrayed your husband, then got a dose of how it feels to be betrayed. You need a great deal of growing up to do and your morals need to be adjusted. You can't become someone you are incapble of becoming. You have to change your whole belief system. You need a foundation of honor and trust. You can do it. I know you can
2006-07-03 12:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am not married and i go to school but i say you got a promblem with guys. find someone you love so much that you won't think about other guys and girl you can't always have what you want. this is not a made up world its the real world and honey around here you do not get what you want you work for it. and if you can't handle it well to bad you are not cut up to stand as a some body in this world you are not getting respect and that you don't got the skills to survie and i got one more tip for ya think before you do. the only reason why i'm acting tough on you because you need to know that you need to look in side and thi k what you are doing. your hurting your husband and if you have kids then your hurting them even worse and could be taken away from you. sorry didn't mean to scare you but its the truth you need to stop doing this, get some help you really need it.
2006-07-03 12:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Stacey l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what to do. Keep the promises you made to your husband on your wedding day. Before you married, your parents were the most important people in your life besides God. Once you married, your husband took over that place in your life, as you did in his(1).
That means he must take precedence over everything, and you need to remove yourself from any circumstance which would impinge on that. That means not spending time with these other men anymore. This would mean gouging out your eyes and cutting off your hands, if that's what was necessary(2).
Understand that any situation where you 'have to do it' is not love, but lust - which is a form of greed, which is short for idolatry(3). Which means that the solution is to do the opposite: occupy yourself with worshiping God. Offer your body as a living sacrifice to Him(4). Glorify Him and give thanks to Him(5).
Choose to love your husband, regardless of feelings. They will come back eventually.
May God bless you and keep you
2006-07-03 12:09:19 · answer #7 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seem you are still mad at what he did in the past in which is common today. So in your mind your saying if he did it and I can do it too. But remember two wrongs don't make it right, it makes it more worse and more stressful. and makes you both even more paranoid. Maybe there is a fantasy you both would like to fulfill. If so maybe the both of you should talk about it. Open Communication and trust is the key. For example like if both of you are at dinner or a movie that is a good time to talk about it. Like a open sex question forum. But you have to promise each other first you won't get mad at each other because of the questions ask. It's what being together or being married is all about. Sharing!!:) and caring.
2006-07-03 12:08:59 · answer #8 · answered by Bobby G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
# 1. Get out of the marriage if it has been only a year and you both have cheated.
2. I was cheated on after 23 years of marriage and we worked it out but i fell in love with his best friend and have been cheating with him ever since we now just talk on email but we can't be together for many reasons, I carry a huge load on my back and it has been 10 years I love my husband but not like I should. It doesn't make me better then you but if it has started out bad it won't get better so be free and work all your feeling out by yourself, especially if you are young, don't waste your life!! You'll be better when you are ready to be serious about a true marriage!
2006-07-03 12:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by NaNa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to have fun but still have the security of married life. You can't have them both. Either you want to be with your husband, which it doesn't sound like you do or you just want to be free and do "just what you want to do" Think about it, bet your husband is doing "just what he wants to do too". If you are young and this marriage isn't for you, then end it before you have any children, then it becomes a lot more complicated. Good luck in whatever you decide
2006-07-03 12:00:58 · answer #10 · answered by funnyface53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep down, you are probably reacting to his betraying you early on. Perhaps it helps you feel safer to always know you can have someone if he hurts you again. Often times, people deal with cheating by going and cheating on the person that cheated on them but it only makes you feel worse. If you want your marriage to survive you must let go of the extra friend who you know wants something more than you really wanna give. Try and see if your husband can be your best friend again.
2006-07-03 13:52:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋