my mother sisters and wife are not willing to accept under any circumstances.i want my family to adopt my daughter
2006-07-03 11:22:53 · 8 answers · asked by ramesh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
SINCE YOU HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED THE CHILD AS YOURS THEN PERHAPS COUNSELING WOULD HELP. IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN ACTIVE FATHER TO THIS CHILD, THEY WILL JUST HAVE TO ADJUST.
2006-07-03 11:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by BAG LADY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open and honest about everything that happened in Africa. Your wife loves you,but understand she is hurting right now, the same as your family. Perhaps they are also feeling your wifes pain because they love her, or perhaps they can't believe you did this. Your daughter is not responsible for your actions, and yes she will be a reminder, but it doesn't mean your wife will not accept her at some point. It would probably be easier if your wife could pretend she didn't exist but down deep she will always know. She might just need time to think about this,and get all of her emotions out. You made a choice, and your choice has hurt the ones you love, and especially yourself,if you haven't thought about it. You will ache as you see their pain, while still loving your daughter. You will beat yourself up over and over, and nothing anyone else says will in anger or hurt, will be as mean as what you say or feel about yourself. If your wife truly loves you, she will overcome this, and support you. It doesn't mean she will understand and she will probably bring it up at times in anger or discussions. If you are sincerely sorry for what you did, and show her your love every day, you can get thru this. Praying above all else. A counselor would definitely help. You have to understand how your wife feels and to try to feel all the emotions she is going through. Be patient and stay calm. Don't forget about your daughter. Just stay away and not have a lot of contact with the mom and don't get really friendly if you talk to her. Things could work if the mom stays in her country,but if she has plans of coming here, then you are truly in for a lot of problems. Give your wife and family time to come think about everything and adjust to it. I don't know if this is a recent event or it's old and just now coming to light. Just don't make excuses for your actions, maybe you felt you did, but you made the choice to cheat. Ask God for forgiveness, then your wife,son, and family. Then yourself. Just don't ever feel you are the victim in it. Your wife,son,and daughter are. I wish you the best. LOVE YOUR WIFE MORE THAN EVER, AND HOLD HER. LISTEN AS SHE TALKS ABOUT HER FEELSINGS. UNDERSTAND. AND MOST OF ALL SHOW HER YOUR LOVE. True love can overcome anything. God heals the heart. This is your lil girl,your daughter, give her your best too. She's the true victim in all of this.
2006-07-03 19:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that is a serious question .. where is the mother of the child? What are her feeliings? iF you are still married, your wife is devastated, your parents, well that is your blood, and theirs also, they should realize that, it was maybe an act of non-discression, but HE WHO HAS NOT SINNED THROW THE FIRST STONE.
That child, is your blood, not just a frivilous mistake like buying a jacket you did not need, or spending too much money on a night on the town etc.
Don't throw away this child, or your responsibility, i hope you will be a man and accept her, and ask your family to accept her, and show your honest, with your moral character,, you have a chance to be a greater person by sticking to your own conscience, set an example, could you unlove your son of seventeen years? He is your blood, could your parents unlove him?? then you know the answer, don't rock the boat,, some may say, but the boat has been rocked, and now there is a baby,, IF YOU ABANDONE HER NOW, YOU CAN NOT J USTIFY IT,, YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS, I REALIZE THAT IT WILL BE HARDER O YOUR WIFE, AND I CAN ONLY SAY \
of course she shall be hurt, most, actually, but now she has an oppoptunity to learn true forgiveness, and "TRUE LOVE" by acceptiing this child who is a part of you,, she does not have to accept how this child happened nor do your parents, but that part is over, now you must get on with life, Your parents should realize this is their blood too, and they have an opportunity to also re-learn if they have forgotten LOVE , KINDNESS, RESPONSIBILITY, AND ACCEPT THIS,,, Things happen for a reason, If you believe in God, and your family, does also, ask them what would GOD WANT YOU TO DO.. If they don't believe in God, this is a good time for them to learn that "GOD BELIEVES IN THEM, AND YOU, AND LOVE AND ALL OF US,, GOOD LUCK
2006-07-03 18:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to do not what is best but what is wisest. If brining this child into your family will destroy the family, you have helped no one. Then take responsibility and father her in your own way: Maybe you must leave her with her mother or her people. You can still be her father: Get her a good education, write to her constantly, travel to see her when you can, be a grandfather to her children when her time comes.
2006-07-03 18:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by Fred S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you married when you fathered this girl? If so, now you want your wife to include her in the family? That's a lot to expect. Every time she looks at her, she'll think of you being unfaithful.
2006-07-03 18:33:37 · answer #5 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should confront them and ask them y they wont accept her and why they arent willin 2 help her out
2006-07-03 18:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
best to not push. pushing makes others feel their feleings don't count. if YOU show the way then relax and just love....love....love.
2006-07-03 18:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by donnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to what "nativeamerican" said..... she's absolutely correct.........awesome
2006-07-04 02:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by checkin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋