My husband just left me and now he's totally ignoring me, How do I know its really over? he left some clothes and items, but he is like totally ignoring me like I dont exist. He left becuase we have been arguing alot lately because I felt as though he has been cheating and so now he left me for good. But is it really for good? because he left somethings at home. I have a pretty strong feeling that he's cheating and I have some circumstancual evidence but not solid proof.
What should I do? Leave him alone and maybe he'll come back or what? I mean like how do I just go on knowing now I'm all alone and have to try to make it on my own. We have been married a year and 8 months.
2006-07-03 10:45:57 · 26 answers · asked by Survivor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start thinking with your head and not your heart.. He has left to punish you for things that he is probably doing. As long as you are tore up you are not going to get your answers. Show him how strong you are. You need to decide if you want him back or not but you do need to find out if he is cheating because that will have a great effect on your decision. Men have a great ability turning their guilt on women and making the woman feel that it is all their fault. But I do have to say that it takes two to make it work. Ignore him and act as if you are getting on with your life.
Don't do anything that you or him can't live with in the case that you do get back together. You are still married until the divorce papers are signed sealed and delivered. Do not break those vows.
But do not take him back until you know for sure. Take the information you have and find out... then make the right choice for yourself.
But remember once a cheat always a cheat... If the man is being very defensive then he is hiding something. and he will make it look as if you are in the wrong.
2006-07-03 10:59:58 · answer #1 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sugar, leave him. I know it's hard, it always is. It's not going to be easy, and you will cry and it will hurt, probably for a while. Don't rebound with another man, though, that is probably the worst thing you can do right now. If he's cheating on you, why do you want him back? And he just left without a word? No, baby, that's not a man you want around. You need someone who can love you and trust you and COMMUNICATE with you as an adult.
Nobody can tell you what to do, you are you're own person. But in the best interests of your heart and who you are as a person, think long and hard about the decisions you make regarding your husband. Who knows? Maybe it can be worked out. If it can be worked out, go for it. Marriage is to sacred to just let it go. Do what you have to do for you.
2006-07-03 10:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sit around waiting for him! Don't even call him. I know it's hard , and it hurts more than anything. You need to focus on yourself for a while. Get your life together. Of course it will be hard for a while, but it will get easier. How could you want him back right now??? I know you are driving yourself crazy wondering what he might be doing. You are probably thinking of what you have done wrong. Thinking of all the good times instead of remembering what got you to this point. Keep reminding yourself when ever you think of him, of all of the things he has put you through. He is gone, he made that choice to walk out on you! Don't act desperate for him right now. Be the mature one, and if he does come crawling back, you must demand counseling before you two live together again. Demand to go to at least two sessions before going back. I've been through this. Your marriage will keep on going in the same circle, until you make the choice to stand up for yourself. Good luck...:)
2006-07-03 11:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first love left me and I was devastated. But, honey, if he is cheating, you do NOT want him back...you deserve much better. It is scary to be alone when you are so used to being in a couple, but it is for the best if the person doesn't deserve you (and he obviously doesn't). I know you want him back right now, but he could be doing you the biggest favor of your life. Better to know now than 20 years from now when you have invested even more of yourself. For now, focus on YOU, not him. Keep busy with friends, family, work, hobbies....stay strong and trust that this is happening for a reason. It may not seem like it now, but time heals everything....and YOU WILL COME OUT ON TOP, finding someone who TRULY loves you. I did, and now I am SOOOO glad he left! All the best to you....
2006-07-03 10:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by nic2127 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe one day he will be ready for a reunion, but leave that up to him.
now is the time for you to look up old girlfriends, and cry on their shoulders for a while. Then go out for an evening to a place where you and your friends dont know anyone, and just have fun, let loose, and maybe flirt when you are ready.
What im trying to say, is now is the time to take care of YOU, find out what you want, and grow your own life. in time, you will either not worry about you ex-husband, reconcile, or you may even found that youve outgrown him.
-and if he has been cheating..you may save yourself a lot of heartache by walking away now
2006-07-03 10:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so hard letting go. And it's so hard not to cry. And you live and pray for yesterday when he was yours. So when the love is gone, then the one left behind knows how hard it is letting go. All the lovers in the word will echo this sentiment as we all go through it at least once.
You need to leave him alone. The more you chase him, the more he will back off.
Although our relationships are complicated, the one simple fact remains. You can never make someone love you or want you . They either do or they don't. In the meantime, be good to yourself.
2006-07-04 12:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by ocean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat yourself up. This jerk thinks he can just take off and you will wait for him? Well I guess you are but dont, I don't even know him and he's not worth it. How could someone who says they love you, make you hurt this bad. From the sound of it, he knows you will wait so he's going to do whatever he can until he gets dumped. Girl, go out, have some fun, you may meet some perfect guy, someone that will treat you with respect and not hurt you the way your husband is doing. Take the rest of his things and throw them out on the porch and start living again. Good luck
2006-07-03 10:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by funnyface53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep inside you know what to do you are just afraid of making the right decision. that is because at this moment you don't know what is right.
you know that if you keep begging him you are pushing him farther and farther away, so let him miss you, and make him wonder why you are not calling constantly and kissing his as..s
try to give your self some time as well, make new friends go out , keep your mind busy and if is meant to be trust me he will come back. Don't mention to him anything about his clothes, don't let it bother you, that is his way of telling you he needs time to think and that he will come back. If he comes back to get it, let him is also a way that he wants to make you kiss as..s and makes him feel special, begging him, gives him the assurance that you are not going anywhere cause you are up his nuts. The more you treat them like **** the more they want to be there, don't over do it. And if you decide to give yourself time and hope that you will be back with him, watch what you do and who you do it with, don't get burn if you want your relationship to work in the future.
good luck chica!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-03 11:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by latina lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Busy yourself with other things. Hang out with friends. Take up a new hobby. I joined a gym to get over a broken heart. Each day it gets easier. The main thing is to try not to think about it all the time.
2006-07-03 11:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by Gracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, this question can have so many answers, both philisophically and morally. One could go one with saying like ....if you love someone let them go, if they are yours they will come back so on and so forth..... My take on it is this. Everyone has their allotment of bad things in life. You just had one. Consider this, thats one less you have to deal with in the future. It doesn't make anything better but at least its good to know you don't have to go through the same thing again.
2006-07-03 10:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by Carlos C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋