she is 15 and her father died a couple of days ago
i havn't talked to her in 2 years but now she wants to talk
what should i say?
2006-07-03 10:32:18 · 22 answers · asked by Andy 2 in News & Events ➔ Other - News & Events
Just be there for her. Let her talk all that she wants. Don't try to give her advice though. You cannot know what she is feeling, just be a friend.
2006-07-03 10:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by pappa_15 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Tell her how sad you are because you know how sad she must be. Some genuine sympathy will go a long way. And let her talk, and cry. I hope you two can get along alright and the "quiet times" between the two of you hasn't been due to some "feuding". But, even if feuding has been there, that will make your reaching out to her all the more valuable. Don't worry so much about "saying the right thing". Just be there and she'll say everything that needs to be said. God Bless you.
2006-07-03 10:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen when I was 10. My best friend's father died and I had no idea what to do. Years later we are still friends and she tells me I helped her through that more than anyone else. When I asked her how she told me that it was just me being there. I would listen as she talked and always told her how much I loved her and would always be here for her. Just that reassurance was what she needed. So, just be there for her. She needs to have the presence of a good friend now. The obligatory shoulder to cry on, even if she is not crying.
2006-07-03 10:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by katameeli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to offer her your time and your ear as she appears to want to talk about her Dad.
Phone her and you might say something like this: "I am thinking of you at this difficult time." Offer to go out for a drink, coffee or for a walk and tell her that she has some wonderful memories of her Dad to hang on to. Ask her to tell you about the things she remembers about her Dad. Most of all, be a good listener and allow her time to talk through her grief. Just knowing you care will be of great comfort.
2006-07-03 10:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss and although we have fallen out of touch I want you to know that I am here for you.
You might also suggest that she talk to a school counselor if she seems like she is really having a difficult time... like, I cannot imagine how hard it must be for your right now. I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to Mr/Ms XXXXX and see if they can help you sort out all these feeling you are experiencing right now. But if you want to be their friend, then listening is the key
2006-07-03 10:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by zeechou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this time it's not about what you say, but about how much you listen. You should tell her that you're sorry for her loss, of course, and if you knew her dad say a few nice words about him, and tell her what you liked most. Whatever you say, it doesn't have to be profound, and it's ok if you stumble with your words. The important thing is that she know you care about her. When all is said and done she probably won't remember exactly what you said anyway, but she will remember that you were there, and that's what counts most anyway, isn't it?
2006-07-03 10:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by Ren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants to talk to someone she feels she can trust. She must think highly of you. The best thing for you do is listen, just be there for her. I wouldn't know what to say myself... Sometimes having someone you care about listen to you is all a friend can do. You are a great friend for caring enough to ask us what you should do!! Good Luck
2006-07-03 10:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by impossible903 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in her situation have a need to know or be around people they respect and admire. Don't be afraid to be a friend and let her do the talking. There might be clues as to what will make her happy. Good luck!
2006-07-03 11:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mostly you should listen, but now and then throw in "I'm so sorry" or "He was a really special person."
If you knew him, tell about some things you remember about him. Something funny he said, or that he was really hard-working or good-looking or whatever.
Comments like this will get her to talking and she needs that outlet right now.
Here are some websites with more tips:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm
http://www.funerals.org/faq/grieving.htm
http://www.ifishoulddie.co.uk/helping_the_bereaved.htm
2006-07-03 10:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ginger/Virginia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just lost my uncle on saturday and i am really hurt i suggest for you to be there and let her know that he is in a better place and that he will be truly missed and that you are there for her no matter what time of day or night it may be.
2006-07-03 10:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by nay_cash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋