2006-07-03 10:11:49 · 76 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my wife seperated from me at christmas and swears she dosnt want a divorce, we get on great and still sleep together ocasionly, she has met someone else, who is a druggie and alcoholic and dosnt do commitment, but he has asked her to get engaged, i dont want to divorce as i love her still very much and would have her back at the drop of a button
2006-07-03 10:21:35 · update #1
Huh? If she doesn't want a divorce, no, she can't marry anyone else (except maybe in Colombia - supposedly they were thinking about passing such a law a while back). So how can she get engaged???
But since she married you, she should indeed stay that way. You guys have made a permanent change in your relationship by sleeping together. When you married, furthermore, you promised to keep yourself only unto him until death you do part. Presumably, you also became independent of your parents before you did this. So she is an adult, and is responsible for her actions(1).
Now, she has not done this. It appears she is committing adultery, apparently without repenting. You do not have to get a divorce, but in this situation it is at least morally permissible because though it shouldn't have happened, she has in practice destroyed your relationship by going off with this other guy(2).
Bottom line: You are still doing the right thing by keeping your promise. I wouldn't consider the situation absolutely hopeless unless she actually does marry the other guy. After all, God can help you rebuild your relationship(3). So for the time being, do what you can to repair your relationship and get back together. If all else fails and she marries him, then you are morally free.
May God bless you
2006-07-03 10:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I must be blunt with you. She does not love you, does not respect you, is using you. She is not worthy of your love. She is sleeping with a drug addict and you both. Consider what she may be bringing into the bed with her HIV or STD's. Honestly you can love someone that does not mean that you have to give up your dignity and self respect. Engagement is not a legal contract, you could be engaged to 12 people and it doesn't matter. She can and will and has been doing what ever she wants. You must send her packing, you will never be happy waiting for her to pick you. She is picking everyone but you. Sure she sleeps with you once in awhile, she probably just does that enough to keep you on the line. To keep you interested so you don't move on. I bet you give her money and support too. She is using you. There is a woman out there (not your wife) who would love you the way you love her, go find her. Divorce your disgusting wife, love is not enough!
2006-07-11 08:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for everyone that is saying he can get engaged no he can't because its not him. Its his wife that is engaged to the other man. If I were you I would sit down with her and explain that you still love her very much and find out why she made you leave. If she doesn't love you anymore then I would move on and find someone that does love for you. Its her lose not yours and I believe you are a man of your word go file for divorce and find the right one for you and never let go of that love. She will find out in the long run she was the one that blow it not you. Be yourself and be honest with her that is all you can do. Something else I would not be having sex with her if she is seeing someone else, even if he is a druggie he could have some kind of decease get out while you can. If you have kids together then you need to take them with you, don't let her have them because of her boyfriend. GOOD LUCK your going to need it.
2006-07-17 04:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dude but it sounds like your doing the drugs. Why the h-ll would you want to be with some one who wants some one Else, even if it's only part time. She cant be that great or maybe it's cuz your that bad and afraid you wont find any one else. It's got to be some think like that or maybe your just a fool. Do you have money cuz if so she sitting pretty. I got the drugs and booze in one mouth full and then I have the mega gold cards in the other mouth full. Get a hold of your self respect and all that other in side stuff and move on. I don't mean to pull the wake up and smell the sh-t card but dude wake up and smell the sh-t. Good luck to ya I guess.
2006-07-16 03:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An engagement is the official declaration of saying you intend to marry someone. You cannot marry someone if you are already married without a nice spell at Her Majesty's pleasure. You may want to consider trying to cut the ties between you for your own sake or you are going to get tangled in a horrid mess unfortunately. If you want to be there for her as a friend that is your choice but to try anything else in this situation would surely be confusing and you did separate for a reason surely? Hope this helps.
2006-07-04 02:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. technically she can get engaged but she cannot actually marry someone else. Engagement is a promise of the upcoming marriage. Marriage is a legal contract. She is soon to ind out just how much paperwork it is going to take to undo the first. She may reconsider marrying the second time or take a breather in between.
2006-07-03 10:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by angel739902 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that same problem. My husband and I separated because of physical abuse. However I had good insurance, child support, etc. After time passed I started dating (keep in mind neither one of us was ready to remarry or anything), I never developed deep feelings for anyone so I continued to do what I do. Then I met a guy I really care about and while I am getting my life in order we are engaged to be married.
2006-07-17 09:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by delovely 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok the real question here should be why don't you want to get a divorce... And what is the point of getting engaged to marry someone else when you dont want to divorce the first one???
2006-07-03 10:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by Trouble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she can get engaged while still married to you, but can't remarry until divorced.
On another note, boy she's getting her cake n eating it, isn't she!!!.
You need to tell her you want a divorce, she's got you wrapped around her little finger.
You so need to get over this woman. If you got back together it would always be in the back of your mind, "is she having another affair".
The real question here is what are you going to do.
2006-07-11 00:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by hoffjob64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can get engaged - just not married...
But - there were problems enough to warant seperation & look at the kind of guy she's hooked up with - do you really want to have sex with her after him?
Dont just hope about things getting back to where they were - She's using this guy against you - If she cared about you - there woudnt be a problem...
Look at the reason you separated - Has it been fixed - if not.. Start looking for someone else...
Sorry....
2006-07-03 13:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by want_to_explore_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋