2006-07-03 09:25:28 · 14 answers · asked by JA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry i thought i put that in there i was in 2004 ALMOST 3 years ago
2006-07-03 09:38:26 · update #1
only if you both want to be miserable. You have to forgive and let go in order to be happily married, or happy in any relationship. Bitterness is lethal poison that kills relationships. You (or they, depending on who you are) will be miserable for holding on to bitterness, and he/she will be miserable because you won't let it go. So why make them still pay?
2006-07-03 09:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure as long as the one you hurt is still hurting why shouldn't you? there really isn't enough info here to say, how long ago was it? what exactly was the mistake and what steps have you taken to repair the damage you've done? add some of that and maybe we can help. but i will tell you that a woman will NEVER get over something until she feels she has been really HEARD and until she believes that you truly in your sould understand what you have done to her and how you've made her feel. if we are talking about cheating you have to be willing to deal with it UNTIL she is ready to let it go, she'll never be over it completely, you will always be someone who is capable of completely devestating her without thinking twice about it and she will never forget for a minute, she may push it down and be somewhat normal again but it will alway be there.
you still didn't say what you did though, 3 years isn't that long though and how badly did you screw up and how often is it a problem and what kinds of problem, give us some details J! if you always communicate so sparingly no wonder she is frustrated! LOL
2006-07-03 16:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily but I will tell u this-my husband made several huge mistakes when we were first together and I could have let them go. But when i found out about them and confronted him he got mad at me! He told me that I shouldnt feel upset about these things and that I was wrong. That made me more upset and angry. He didnt pay for the mistakes for a long time-he paid for the lack of compassion about these things hurting me. Try to show compassion towards your spouse and be there for them. If that doesnt work then maybe counseling or therapy of some kind will. If that doesnt and time doesnt heal things then it might be better to call it quits.
2006-07-03 16:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean child support or alimony then yes...if you mean that it keeps being brought up by their spouse then it just depends upon how much time has passed and if they have managed to earn back their spouses trust. If you mess up in a marriage the cost is way more steep than any other relationship because you can't just take the relationship up another notch to show your sorry.
2006-07-03 16:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the mistake. This is really vague. In general a person needs to be accountable for their own actions and the consequences for those actions. If you are talking about paying for kids, then heck yea you should be paying. For other things, the answer is not as clear, give us a specific example.
2006-07-03 16:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by the_flogged_dog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say.If you broke the trust then thats a hard thing to get back.Thats the part of working things out. You may never get that trust back but if you love her than you are willing to put up with it.Just keep showing her that you can be trusted again and keep showing her how much you love her.
2006-07-03 16:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's only 2 years ago. Depending on the how bad your mess up was.......AND how you're showing that you're truly sorry.
The hurt could be too deep to forgive. You may need to seek assistance for you both, in order to completely resolve whatever the issue was. It may not be possible for the hurt to dissolve all all by itself.
2006-07-03 16:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if everything is dealt with, solved, there's been counseling, apologies, forgiveness, earned trust back etc,, then no he shouldn't still be paying for the mistake.
2006-07-03 16:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you cheated on them and they still dont trust you then you still have work to do. you shouldnt stop paying for it until they trust you again.
2006-07-03 16:31:20 · answer #9 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not enough information..
How long ago did 'one' mess-up?
What sort of mess up did 'one make?
Ultimately up to 'ones' partner I would say.
2006-07-03 16:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋