I know that we will get married - I've known this for some time now. This weekend we went looking for engagement rings. And now I'm scared. Does anyone have an explanation for this, or has anyone else experienced this?
(We've been together 2.5 years, we do not live together but will once we get married (we live in two different countries), and he is an absolutely great guy - we get along so well, I don't want to make him uncomfortable by talking to him about it but I know that I could if I so wanted to.)
2006-07-03 09:03:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We live 45 mins from eachother so I see him every weekend (American/Canadian).
2006-07-03 10:22:24 · update #1
People get scared of good things especially if they are a negative person aka not a positive thinker. Even if thats not the case, many people subconsciously view things that they know will fail as reliable and steady when thats not the case, they are just sure of the outcome. If the good is limitless it feels as if there is no absolute or comfort in knowing it exactly, hence boming scared of the future. Its even worse if youve been hurt or mistreated by people in your life (and who hasn't some?).
2006-07-03 09:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Honey, only you can answer that question, although I can offer a few ideas for you. The fact that you have a long distance relationship means that maybe you don't know everything you need to know about this guy. It is common for people to get cold feet when a marriage is looming, but not talking to the man you are going to marry is the wrong approach, you should talk to him. Are you two from completely different cultures? Is this an arranged marriage? These issues can also cause feelings of unease amongst couples on the verge of making a very important life decision. Trust and Honesty are cornerstones of all relationships, and maybe he is having some reservations too, but is unwilling to talk to you about it for the same reasons you have. Talk to him.
2006-07-03 09:11:54 · answer #2 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be scared of taking such a big step. The fact that you two live in different countries and probably don't get to spend a ton of time together also is part of the problem. You just simply never know someone completely till you can spend all your time with them. A little bit of fear is a good thing, but if you don't take a chance on love you may never find it. So keep your eyes open, be wary, but don't let fear control you.
2006-07-03 09:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're scared because you know he's not the one. When I was dating, I was a huge commit phobe. I never commited to anyone in my early twenties. Then at 25 I met my now hubby and I knew instantly he was right for me, as I was right for him. We went to look for rings after 1 month of dating, he proposed 3 months later, then we saved up our money and so did our families to give us our dream wedding. We've been married nearly a year and I can tell you that if you feel nervous at all - you've got the wrong guy. None of the guys I dated ever made me feel as calm as my hubby does. You're also living in 2 different countries - that's never going to work. End this relationship and meet someone who lives close to where you do.
2006-07-03 09:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there some little voice telling you there is something about this guy that just don't seem right? Does he seem to have some secret that he is not telling? Is his country of the type that holds women in low asteem? I would wonder about these things if I were you girl. Tell him that you need to discuss these things with him and if he refuses or you think he is lying about anything,then I would call a halt to the engagement until all things are clarified. If he can't agree to this and help you out about this then he is the wrong one for you.
2006-07-03 09:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have reservations or trepidations about marrying this man you should wait longer before taking this very important step in your life. Having this fear is an indication that you either do not know this man very well or you do not trust your own feelings and convictions. Put the wedding on hold for however long it takes for you to resolve this fear. If you have unbridled love for each other the marriage will take place at a later date. Trust your feelings. If he refuses to wait it is best to let him go because he does not truly love you. Any man who loves you with all his heart and soul will gladly wait for you.
2006-07-03 09:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by C.B. M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you should not talk to him. in fact you should never talk about anything with any depth ever.
that's just not the way its done.
your feelings and fears mean nothing and have no relevance.
wot the most important thing is that all his needs are met without any bother from you.
if you want any sort of a long term marriage then you need to keep any fears you may have to yourself
now run along and be good.
OH YEA Duhhh
2006-07-03 09:14:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well than I suggest you talk with HIM. Since he's the one who knows you best. Immediately remove that thought from your head (about makin him uncomfortable)
Because communication is the highway to a successful relationship.
2006-07-03 09:23:12 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to have cold feet or second thoughts about such an important life decision. However, if you truly love him then things will be fine. If your doing it for other reasons, you gut may be trying to tell you something!
2006-07-03 09:12:46 · answer #9 · answered by M D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same position as you.. we are supposed to get married next week im very scared.. Im thinking it comes along with the married deall scared.... good luck to you and me!! lol
2006-07-03 09:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Crazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋