Verbal abuse?

Question

A friend of mine is going through some hardships in her life right now. She is being verbally abused by him--he uses horrible swear words and verbally puts her down all of the time. They have a child together, so what do I tell her?

Answer 1

Don't tell her to stay or leave. Listen and be a friend. Direct her to look up information on the power and control wheel of domestic violence and let her make her own decision.

Answer 2

Get out of there! I have had some experience with what you are talking about. Likely, your friend will become (or is) depressed and will lack self confidence. One-third of children that have an verbally abusive parent will repeat the cycle and either become a verbal abuser or become a verbal abuse victim. There is no way that the verbal abuser is going to change. If you go to a psychiatrist, they will tell you how to work around his lousy behavior. Thats why I don't like psychiatrists! The main thing is to get away from him and to get some fresh air and some optimism back before he completely indoctrinates the kiddo. (Kids learn how to act by watching how others act). Hope this helped.

Answer 3

Verbal abuse is too often the first step towards physical abuse. No one should remain in an abusive relationship, especially if there is a child involved. Think of what that child is being taught. If it's a boy, it's learning that this is the way to treat your wife. If it's a girl, it's learning that this is the way women are treated. Neither one is a good scenario!
If he swears at her, puts her down, and doesn't care enough about her or their child to marry her, he doesn't sound like a winner to me. If she is going to face financial hardship because she leaves him, it's worth it to get back her self esteem. The longer she stays, the harder it will be to leave.
As her friend, please advise her to get out of this relationship, and give her as much support as you can. Not necessarily financial support, but moral support, because she's going to need that.
Bless you for caring.

Answer 4

she needs to leave for that child's sake. yes he may not be physical, but verbal abuse is worst then physical abuse because it breaks down a person. shes going to need a lot of help and support but you have to get her out of there. if she does not leave willingly call child services and tell them what is going on they will get her out and the child. so if she can't or won't do it willingly do it for her forcefully. the reason why child services will get involved is because abuse between parents is considered abuse toward the child if they are present. so even though the father might not be yelling at the kid by yelling at the mom he is also breaking down the child.

Answer 5

The best thing you can truly do is just be there for her. I am speaking from experience. Everyone thinks it's so easy to just leave the person, but not the case. It's terrible that she is going through this, it IS considered domestic violence. Telling her to just leave doesn't help her state of mind. Everybody is different - she will leave when SHE is ready, it can't really be forced. Just listen, be understanding that it is NOT an easy situation to get out of, try not judge, stand by her side. As for the child, unfortunately if he/she is hearing and seeing this, that is not good and will have an effect on him/her as time goes on. I would suggest that she try her best not to let him do this around their child. I hope she gets her strength up soon to fight and get out of this situation. Best of luck and make sure to pray, God always listens...

Answer 6

She's right. Also verbal abusive can eventually grow into actual physical contact. Make sure she knows this. If she doesn't love him any more then why should she stay. My mother has stayed with my father who can be well mean with his words at times but so is she. Just make sure that the kid never gets in the middle.

Answer 7

Tell her to tape record an evening spent together with him. After getting a good example, wait 24 hours then give him the tape. If he doesn't want to listen to it, then he is not interested in changing their relationship into a positive one. She needs to focus on her child. If she allows herself to be abused, her child will grow up believing that abuse is okay. That would be a tragedy. Help your friend by baby-sitting, if you need to, while she gets the help she needs. Good Luck !

Answer 8

She needs to learn to talk back and not take it.
Tell her to go to a 'woman's shelter' for walk- in counseling... if she just can't stand it anymore she can call the woman's shelter and they will send her a cab to stay there.. but make sure and tell her to bring her child with her or she can be charged for deserting it.
she needs the counseling to find out 'why' she takes abuse of any kind.
Remind her also that when you have one kind of abuse, it ALWAYS turns to more. there is FIVE kinds of abuse.. and she WILL live through all five, not in any order.. but it WILL happen.
1. Verbal
2. Emotional
3. physical
4. Sexual
5. Drug/Alcohol abuse

Answer 9

Tell her to get out because verbal abuse always escalates to violence. Her husband has absolutely no respect for her, and sees her as property he has the rightto control. Tell her to leave now, and take the child with her, and don't go back until he has had anger management counselling.

Answer 10

As a friend you can only be there for her when she finally sees the light.
Just be there when you can and be supportive. Do not put her down for being or staying with him. Do not make her feel more inadequate than she is already feeling.
Listen and care.
You can talk to her about how she needs to get out etc but remember only she can make that choice.