Are there any step parents/foster parents/grandparents who will answer these questions for me?

Question

I am doing a school project and need these questions answered please if you would help that would be wonderful!
Just say which one you are(foster parent, grand parent or step parent) and answer these questions, they do not have to be answered in detail thanks

Is being a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent something you enjoy?


What is the best part about being a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?


What is the most challenging thing about being a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?

What is the worst thing about being a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?


How did you prepare yourself to be a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?


What resources have you used in helping you in your role as a grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?


What do you wish you would have known before becoming grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?


What advice would you give a new grandparent/stepparent/foster parent?

What advice would you give to teens about parenting?

Answer 1

Hi, I'm a Step Parent and Foster Parent.
1. Yes, it is enjoyable to know you are able to help mold these children who might not have had any positive role models in their life consistently before meeting you.
2.The best part is knowing that you are helping them to be responsible and that you love them and they love you. My favorite thing was when each of them on their own and independently decide to tell me they loved me, not because it was just being said but because they really realized that they did love me.
3.The most challenging thing about being a step or foster parent is helping the kids to adjust to a new environment and new rules, it is difficult to enforce rules to a child who never had rules. Sometimes discilpline can be a sticky situation and in our case all 3 kids are disciplined differently the 2 younger ones with time out and losing toys as punishment and the older one with being grounded and losing computer/going out privileges.
4.The worst thing about being a step parent/foster parent in my case is the biological moms, they only want visitation when they can show someone that they are trying to be in their kids lives and then when they have no on e to prove anything to they disappear and the kids are hurt by it. The other worst part are the court dates, it's like they never stop and the older kids are involved per requirements and it can have a negative impact on how they feel about relationships and families in general.
5. I didn't get to prepare to be a step or foster parent (I'm more of an addoptive parent) and the kids we adopted are my husbands little brothers, it was just like, oh by the way, the boys are going to stay with you for a while, and then next thing we knew we were going to court for full custody and their mom was in and out of jail. My stepdaughter I was raising full time about a month after I started dating my hubby (boyfriend at the time) I chose to raise her as my own because her mom didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to get food stamps, medicaid or child support (which she doesn't get becaue my sd lives with us full time). No way to prepare you just take it day by day and make sure no one is miserable.
6. My parents are my resource, mine and my husbands judgement, friends, other family...
7. Nothing it has been a learning experience and I wouldn't change any part of it, they are who they are because we knew what we knew. They are all smart, caring, well behaved, responsible, fun, energetic, (sometimes monsters), they were initially shy and one was even on meds for ADD (which he doesn't actually have, his mom just didn't want to deal with him) but they are all great kids and they are who they are because of the way we have raised them, learning as we go.
8. Keep open communication, even if you don't like what they have to say let them express their feelings and then find a non demeaning way to address their feelings if it's not something you like. Have clear set rules that are enforced all the time. Love them and tell them you love them even if you are angry or unhappy with a choice they have made. Know their friends, know their teachers and coaches, know their email sign ons and passwords. Do things with each one separately if possible so they can be who they are without the others teasing them. Never let them have their doors shut when they have friends over, don't put a computer in their room if it has internet access... If you can get them a cell phone, it will be nice to have when you let them walk home from school for the first time, or when after dropping them off to bowl, they call you early to pick them up.
9. My first advice to teens if they aren't already expectant parents is wait. I know you have heard it a milion times, but to give up atleast 18 years of your life, money, freedom is a big step. Other advice if the teen is already expecting or has a child is be on the front line with your child, be the first person they see in the morning and the last person they see at night, spend as much time as you can with them and if you are unhappy save it for when they are asleep, enjoy every moment of raising your child because life is short and your kids will remember the things you would hope they would forget. Never make a promise you don't think you can keep, they'll remember! Tell your kids you love them as many times a day as you can, they'll remember that too! Read with your kids. Don't swear, drink or smoke in front of them. Don't be a hypocrite! Don't eat dinner in front of the tv, sit at the table with them it will make them more likely to have conversations with you as they grow if they have uninterupted time to spend with you. Don't spoil them, it's too hard to reverse, but do make sure they have what they need. Make them understand that they are important and you are glad to have them. Love them unconditionally and if you are ready to break call someone to sit with them for an hour while you take some quiet time. Being a teen parent is a big responsibility and one that can't be taken lightly. You can be a great parent at 15 or 30 as long as you want to be a good parent. Don't let others be negative to you, your situation is your situation and it is a part of who you are, make the most of your relationship with your kids so that when they become parents they parent their children like you parented them.

Answer 2

1. I enjoyed being a foster parent. My wife and I love kids (we adopted 2 after being foster parents.

2.The best part is loving the kids just as they are and helping them overcome their sense of loss of family.

3. The most challenging part is discipline. You are limited due to social service regs and the fact that you have limited knowledge of the child's previous life with their family.

4. Dealing with social service regulations and social worker. While there are some good workers there are many that do not care about the kids, they only care about the regulations. Also when we first became foster parents they did not tell us about the regulations that would adversely affect our foster child.

5. The only thing we did was prepare the house to the best of our ability, file the application and read the information they provided (which was incomplete we found out).

6. The good social workers that we came across during their visits. We questioned them over and over about everything we could think of that affected the children at the time they were with us and before they left.

7. The control that social services has that they think is "god-like" (i.e. foster parents shouldn't question the rules). The stupidity you have to work around at times (you have to be prepared to fight for the child. . . sometimes in hearings, sometimes in court).
The last thing I would liked to have known is the pain you experience when the child goes home.

8. Be aware of your weaknesses as a parent. Foster children have, in some cases, severe issues with which to deal (our first came out of a psych ward after trying to kill herself). Make sure your house rules are in granite and do not change them at all otherwise you will be challenged to the hilt by the child and social services. Love the child like your own. Finally, be good parents to the child. The child needs you.

9. Parenting is tough work but the greatest job you will ever have. You are ready to be a parent ONLY when you are emotionally, psychologically, and financially mature. You're ability to bring a child into the world does not make you ready to be a parent and NOTHING you do can prepare you for all the responsibilities of a child. You MUST know you are ready to accept serious responsibilities to take care of a new life that cannot take care of itself. You must devote the time, the love, the emotions, and the exhaustion that a child brings.

Answer 3

1. Yes, very much.
2. Having a granddaughter, but pretending I'm not old enough to be Grandpa (since she's not "biologically" mine.
3. Being a father to a stepson who is so much like me. (Independant, strong-willed, hard-working and gullible with women).
4. Having a granddaughter I love with my whole heart, but who isn't biologically mine.
5. 90% of life is just showing up. You just step up to the plate, and do it.
6. 47 years of life experience, and raising 3 kids of my own.
7. That your relationship with your step-family is utterly dependant on the relationship with your spouse. Lose that, and you lose everything (and so do they).
8. See answer # 5.
9. Wait until you're not a teen. If that is no longer possible, gain advice from those that did, and listen to it.

Answer 4

Grandparent here
1. enjoy being a grandparent
2. they go home every nite
3. letting my kids raise their kids
4. keeping my mouth shut when my kids make a misstake with thiers.
5. did not prepared came natural
6. common sense
7. nothing
8. let thier kids raise their own kids
9. more to it than you think