Why is my hubby so different from before?

Question

My hubby had faithfully waited for me to accept him for almost 8 yrs b4 i decided to accept his love. Now tat we r together for 6 yrs, why arent he as understanding n patient as he used to be towards me though he still claim tat im attractive? Is it because he loves me less now?

Answer 1

In a relationship that has lasted this long you both have had time to become comfortable with each other and probably act closer to each others true personalities. After 6 years your husband is probably not trying to impress you as much, which is normal, so he is not making a concious effort to be as kind or patient as he once was. This is very typical in a relationship, heard of the seven year itch? Changes in the relationship such as this one is a typical reason.

I obviously do not know you so I do not know of other circumstances that can lead to this same kind of think such as stress at work, financial issues, children, or just the dulldrums of life in general. The answer is communication with your spouse. Guys, including myself sometimes shy away from serious communication about issues like relationships and other emotional issues but they are needed to keep the relationship strong, so be persistant but not to the point of nagging. There are also board games out there for a couple that involve this kind of communication as well as physical stuff that may help break the ice if needed.

It sounds like you have been examining your relationship quite a bit so also ask yourself what else in your relationship has changed? Often times a couples sex life has dropped off a bit from the first couple years and for guys that is something that can change the way that they treat their spouse. There are real differences in the way that each person views sex both conciously and unconciously. From my own perspective as well as what I have seen in other couples and in my education guys often need to have what they percieve as a good sex life in order to meet the emotional needs of a woman. Also the reverse is true women need to feel emotional satisfied in order have a good sex life with their spouse, so you see it is a circle.

Anyhow, dont make the mistake many women make and immediately blame themselves or think he loves you less, first and foremost find a way to communicate with your spouse on these issues and together find a way to overcome them. Communication is the key!!!

Hope this helps

Answer 2

Is this because you are a new mother ? Is the child and the dynamic of being a family instead of a couple becoming a difficult state of being for the two of you to achieve ? If so, then there is a good chance that he loves you as much - just differently. You are now the mother of his child and he sees you differently. This happens to a lot of guys. (As for patience, if there is a new baby in the house, then there is a lot less patience for you as all of the patience is needed for the child.)

In order for you to re-achieve your role as his wife and lover, you need to make extra effort to help him see you that way. That is going to take a lot of planning and work on your part. And, it may not be easily had; it may take some time. You can't shortchange the baby, but in order for you and your husband to go back to being lovers and husband and wife, you need to take him there - ensuring the house (and your bedroom) is not all about the baby and that the chores are not all about the baby - and that you aren't always tired. (Kinda hard with a new baby.) So when the baby takes a nap, YOU take a nap so that you are rested. Then do your level best to keep the place clean - and yourself looking nice for when your husband gets home.

When he does get home, don't inundate him with how bad your day was or how tired you are - ask him about his. I don't mean for you to never tell him about yours - you should and he should want to know, but not right as he walks in the door. Give yourselves some space and time for each other and it should work out.

Answer 3

When 2 people have been together awhile, it's easy to fall into a rut & everyday is like the other. Soon, you begin to lose the magic of finding something new in every day & in each other. I would suggest that you "date" one another. Call him up on the phone & pretend to be a secret admirer & offer to meet him at a motel for a "fling". Write him a love poem. Flirt with him. Leave a path of rose petals leading to the bedroom & be there to greet him, wearing little or nothing. Play with one another. Never let the spark die!

Answer 4

After marriage, most couples begin to take each other for granted. When that happens we just "assume" that the other person already knows that we love them, knows that we care, knows that we like cream in our coffee, knows that...get the picture? Things that become familiar are often taken for granted. You have to work at your marriage as hard or harder than you did to get to the marriage. It's a two-way street, honey. Do you love your husband, do you still do the same things that you used to do (to get him), do you still take time for one another? Answer those questions and see what you can change or improve on. It takes two to make and it takes two to break a marriage. It is never a one-sided affair. Good luck, hope this helps a little.

Answer 5

Relationships change over time - the goal is always that they get better. Perhaps your hubby feels some resentment towards you in having to wait so long for your love. Perhaps he has grown tired of your company. Think about how you treat him - make sure you are giving him all the love and respect you can. If you are doing that, then you need to talk about it and see what's up. Good luck!!

Answer 6

People are always more open and understanding of someone they want but aren't with versus the person they already have. He is different because before he didn't want to make you mad or risk you deciding that he wasn't right for you. Now he doesn't have to worry as much. Plus now that you are together things are a daily and repetitive. He now has expectations in regard to you and your relationship with him. He now knows that you love him and hopefully love him even when he isn't being perfect or isn't at his best.

Answer 7

After 6 years, you know that the person is around to stay and we feel a little more free to act like idiots to each other. It's unfortunate, but we are most likely to treat the ones we love most the worst because we know they'll always be around, no matter what we do to them. (relatively speaking of course)

Talk to him about it. Maybe it's something you're doing that he cant' live with. Maybe he needs to be more patient.

Answer 8

It's hard to say without knowing a little more about you both. Do you have children now? Is he in a more stressful job, where he's just distracted in general? Are you acting any differently towards him? I'm sorry, I hate to ask all of these questions to try to answer yours.

Answer 9

maybe they some pressure in his job.why don't u try to make him feel relax when he arrive at home.Just like give him a massage.How many children u have.U know 4 me everything will be diffrent when l arrive home n play with my children.please don't ask so much question to him.Just ask him 2 relax n enjoy it.Anyway thank 4 your 10 point that u give b4.My emial address [e-mail] what l have teach u ok.Bye now.

Answer 10

I've looked at your other questions here, trying to get a feel of what's going on in your relationship. Honestly, I don't believe the problem lies with your husband. It's your attitude towards him, your marriage, and what it means to be husband and wife.

I don't want to criticize you, especially "in public", but if you really are searching for some insight, e-mail me.