my hubby came to me while i was sleeping though we were having a cold war. I thought its a good time to talk things out but i realised he's more interested in sex. To cut it short for the whole matter, he apologised n go about his way. was i too soft hearted? should i pretend as if nothing happen n act accordingly to what he wants or should i talk things out with him? Im dont want to make things worse.. What should i do?
2006-07-03 05:46:35 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, guys think sex is everything, until they're shown differently. Things will get worse if you dont talk about it. Talking about feelings is hard for guys, but if you both dont start now you will regret it. Like everything else it takes practice, after awhile communication becomes the way to resolve and understand each other more fully.
2006-07-03 06:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by philmnt 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The mans brain is just wired differently. While a man does like to spend time with you, talk, cuddle, etc. he will almost always want a little more...sexually. While you might not want to have sex, that is ok, then do not have sex all the time, but you do need to give your husband some attention. All he probably needs is a release, and it is your job to do that for him even if it is not full sex. Use your mouth, hand, etc. He will feel better in about 5 minutes and will probably cuddle, talk, and do all that you want because you took some time to please him.
2006-07-03 13:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by freeman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not everything a man wants, but it is very important to us. From what I understand of women, most women need to have long conversations, hold hands, "be close", share their thoughts, have some one tell them "I love you", and to be held. These are the things that my wife (and many books) have told me that women NEED to be happy and fulfilled.
Men have needs also. Men need their wife to show intrest in their work, share the past time or hobby they enjoy, and they need sex.
If my wife refuses sex I feel the same way she would if I would not say "I love you", or give her a hug, sit on the couch with her, or hold her hand.
To a Man sex fills the same need that those things do for a woman.
2006-07-03 12:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by RicktheSki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of your marriege as an elected official (I know that you're a girl and this is hard but work with me for a moment). Your husband is your consistuenty. He has needs....needs that are tap tap tapping on his forehead all of the time at this age. These needs don't go away if he chooses not to think about them (like yours do). They build like a volcano. He can't deal with his feelings right now because of all that tapping (still going on). Sure he's preoccupied, sure he wants sex and it's your job as the other partner to satisfy these needs. This will calm him down and will make him cling to you as a husband should. If you leave these needs go to long or are very sporadic in your duties as a wife then you will place him in a vulnerable position ofr a hostile takeover from another woman. A woman who isl more than willing to satisfy those needs...get the picture?
You have a very powerful tool in your bag. You can make him calm and allow him to focus more on his job at work enabling him to accelerate past his peers or you can make him a "staffer with problems" consistently thinking about this girls or that girl, not doing his job and definately not thinking about you!!!
I reccommend you look at the following website. It will give you insite onto a guy much better than I can.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Remember "Unmet demand is your worst enemy"
Good luck
2006-07-03 13:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from a husband's point of view, sex is the great equalizer, the prelude before the conversation. Talk to him, girl! I would suggest talking to him over a wonderful dinner at a fine restaurant. You will discover that he will respond more positively. And by all means, do not discuss important matters while you are angry. You can't take back angry words.
2006-07-03 12:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by Ann's Husband 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is as important to men as talking is to women. I would suggest allowing the sex to take place, and working in the talk time after.
Special Note: You are an equal partner in this so try to make the sex as enjoyable as possible for you.
2006-07-03 12:51:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are more visually/sexually driven than women. You need to put things in perspective. Is he fulfilling his marital duties to you by giving you loving emotional support? If so, he deserves a little bit of pleasure in return. Sometimes thoughts of sex dominate the male mind. Cut us a little slack once in awhile.
2006-07-03 12:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by anhedonia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, your husband still finds jut YOU attractive. That is why he wants the sex. It takes two to keep a marriage strong. Communication is very important too. When you have him where you want him, (turned on and wanting) let him know you want mutual respect, he will cave and meet you half ways.
2006-07-03 13:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mainly! It's not an issue to give in and enjoy for that few minutes, but what you need to do before he gets out of bed is say "oh, by the way, __________, (saying what's been upsetting), and I still want to resolve this before it goes any farther, alright? Get his response, and leave it with I love you too.
2006-07-03 12:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is what man wants... but remember what you wrote.... 'he apologised'... right??? thus, you should just move on... until the next time the same thing happen again, then you talk...
2006-07-03 12:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋