2006-07-03 05:41:22 · 15 answers · asked by tom k 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
Runner up:
Some loud socialite to President Calvin Coolidge: "My friend bet me ten dollars that I couldn't get you to say three words to me."
Coolidge: "You lose."
2006-07-03 05:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If human beings inform you, you're ugly say, "i became in person-friendly words attempting to look extra like you." a guy walks right into a bar, beverages some beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8. "yet I already paid you. do not you undergo in ideas?" says the customer. "ok," says the bartender, "if you're saying you paid, then i think you probably did." the guy is going outside and tells the first man or woman he sees that the bartender won't be able to save music of even if his shoppers have paid or no longer. the second one guy rushes in, orders a pair beers, and later pulls an same stunt. The barkeep replies, "ok, if you're saying you paid, then i think you probably did." the customer is going outside and tells a buddy a thanks to get free beverages. The third guy hurries into the bar and starts to drink highballs. The bartender leans over and says, "you comprehend, a humorous element surpassed off tonight. 2 men were ingesting beer, neither paid, and both claimed that they had. the subsequent guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched contained in the -- " the guy interrupts, "do not problem me with your problems, bartender. merely provide me my replace and that i'd be on my way." that's an A B communication, so that you'll C your way out of it.
2016-10-14 02:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by restrepo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my chest is big and when I'm at work(i work in a pub)some of the customers make comments about them to try and get me embarrassed which isn't an easy job but i just turn around and say "yeah i know but i can go home and play with them you can't" the funniest insult I've been shouted is "you slag" the amount of times I've been called that for not serving someone or refusing them entry is unbelievable, it's that common it's funny, if they wanted to insult us why not call us very polite bar staff-ha ha so far from the truth our policy be cheeky to us and you'll just get it back and the customers love it.
2006-07-03 06:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by Scottish lass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One man says to the other.(who he hasnt seen for years) whoa you turned into a right fat bas***d,
the fat guy says ..well you know why that is dont ya...
Cos every time i f**K your momma in the a**,she gives me a chocolate biscuit.
2006-07-10 03:03:43 · answer #4 · answered by intruder3906 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curse yuh for breathing, u slack-jawed, custard-coloured, plate of cow-digested beans.....
2006-07-06 01:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by Abdullah M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brothers wife asked him if a dress she was wearing made her look fat. He replied the dress is fine it's your fat that makes you look fat. How true.
2006-07-03 05:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when asked not to smoke in a motorway service station,
the reply was "I'm not smoking it's just burning away"
2006-07-10 04:39:09 · answer #7 · answered by willygromit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my bf said he wanted to become a gigolo. so i said he'd make a better bungalow as he had nothing upstairs!
2006-07-03 05:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy asked if I were single - I answered. "yes, there's only one of me."
2006-07-03 05:45:27 · answer #9 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, i think you've confused me with me with someone who gives a f**k
2006-07-03 05:47:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋