I have my own appartment, a 5yr. old son and I help my mother take care of my neice. I've been married and divorced already and I'm moving towards my goal within my career rapidly. He's turning 33 this week and never been on his own. He said there was never a reason for him to leave. He said his goal was to be out by 19, 25, and so on. Now he's trying to be stable in his occupation and next he wants a car, then he'll move out. That seems like a long time because I believe he should have had it done already. He is soo sensitive and understanding and patient. On the other hand, I'm want things right away, but I'm willing to give it time, give him time to achieve some goals. We have been together(dating) for almost a year, will it last?
2006-07-03 05:16:32 · 13 answers · asked by Mo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't wait for him, do what you need to do, take care of you and your child. If he get his act together and meets you were you are then great. But you need to set the standard. You need a man not a grown boy...
2006-07-03 05:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen by 33 years old if he hasn't left Mommy and Daddy yet he probably won't for some time. If you look at it on a developmental scale he's not 33 Y/O but 19. At 33 he doesn't have a career yet? What you have is not one child but two!
If you are willing to accept this life (you being the stable partner and potential main income in the relationship) then you're okay. But believe me you will get tired of this arrangement eventually. You want to look at the TOTAL entertainment package before you commit. You will want someone to help you pull the yoke, not ride in the cart. You don't want to have a "kept man"! Then again maybe you do...that's your choice.
You sound like a responsible person but you don't have a plan. You need a plan for your life, then you can determine what type of man will help you meet your life goals.
Check out this website. It's for guys but the principles discussed (such as finding the mate and developing a life plan can be used by women as well. It also lets you look into the psyche of a guy.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good luck
2006-07-03 05:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you can transition into Mom now and then. This is something you don't want to hear, but, he's not going to be an easy person to get along once he's move out of his parents house. He may seem OK now, but don't wait till you're married to except things for what they are in reality. He's not ready nor has he been in a state of mind for responsibility, or he would have left at 19 or 25. I'm telling you this from experience of 4 daughters on my part, who still haven't become totally dependent because they can easily fall back on me. So, I'm paying the consequences.
2006-07-03 05:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It says something about him and your relationship that he would rather get a car before moving out of his parents house at 33. He is behind and doesn't seem to care much about catching up. He has no reason to move out ?? How about the fact that he is a man of 33 and has a gf ?? How long are you supposed to wait for him to grow up ? By 35 ? How about 36 ? Maybe he'll want to buy something else after the car gets paid off.
2006-07-03 05:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a question back to you . Did he take the small bus to school?....I think he will never move out of the house , he is waiting for his parents to die , so he has a place of his own. I think you need to move on and tell him he needs to find a life. Who wants a man that lives with his parents? I think you have wasted enough time waiting for him and you want a man that is moving in the same direction.
2006-07-03 06:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by Randy P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you hear yourself? he is 33 and he doesnt have a car or a house of his own. if he didnt move out by 19,22,27, or even 30 he aint going to do it any time soo. does he have a job? if he does then he should have his car in no time, i say in the next few months, does he save money , has he been saving money? he should have lots of money if he doesnt pay rent or buy his own food or untilites. if he really wants to move out then he should be doing things now to get ready to move out, save money, buy that car. i personally would date a guy that lives with him mama and doesnt own a car,why? because it shows he cant be dependant and he cant do things for himself,why cant he be a man and move out on his own, is he a mamas boy ..............or is he taking care of his mama? if he is doing that then it is ok, but if he isnt then there a problem.
2006-07-03 05:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not going to be very happy or you could but this spells trouble!!!! i mean hes 33 years old that should be the time where he wants to know when hes going to retire, or what bonds he has away, or something like that. early teens to the age of 25 is when the young are talking about what they want and not what they have becuase most of the time they are still in college and working parttime jobs to get by not make a living like thatf. he seems very needy and you are kind hearted and will give him a chance i wouldnt help him unitl he helped himself
2006-07-03 05:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by uabgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should already of had a car - saved lots of money - and really looking for a woman to marry.
I lived at home too and it really helped me get a nice start when I got married ---- having saved a lot of money and my cars were paid off to boot....so I went into the marriage without bills and we were able to have a new home with a very small morgage
2006-07-03 05:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he has reliable intentions, yet no self-discipline. i'm prepared to wager he replaced into an in basic terms baby. mum and dad who provide their baby each and every thing debilitate them later on in existence...Self reliance is a needed ability to get carry of and it variety of feels he has yet to require it. At 33 I doubt he will obtain it. With that being mentioned once you're searching for the relationship to progression i think of the only way for it to ensue is marriage. Which he could be frightened of to boot. that's a annoying call on your section and this is all a rely of will ability. in case you have the fortitude to stick with it and make it artwork then accomplish that..If no longer then circulate on.
2016-11-01 03:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by sokin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah he sound like a gud friend to hang out with but think about what can he do for u he cant do for his self he still at home with his mother. U have a child u need some one who can help u with bills car notes and ure child. If u let him in ure life u will just have another child
2006-07-03 05:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by cup-cake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋