Is there a fine line between peace and loneliness?

Question

I'm a recent divorcee, and I've got the house to myself now. No kids, no passive-aggressive woman storming around. Less mess, more sleep, more time to organize things. I miss them terribly sometimes, though.
I've told couple of people about enjoying these benefits, and they said there's a fine line between peace and loneliness. I see some truth to that statement, but not a lot.
What do you think?

Answer 1

No Way!

If you feel lonely no matter how many people surround you, you are still lonely! Most people think that if they are surrounded by millions they feel less lonely - I think that's just the noise that makes you feel less lonely, but in fact you still are. The thing is - there's just to much hazard to make you realize that.
On the other hand when you are completely alone (not Lonely, just Alone with yourself) the silence or peace is a wonderful thing. It gives you time to think, relax and enjoy your company. Even though you could be right in the middle of a amusement park, you are alone. It's all in your mind.

Maybe what your feeling right now is the difference from earlier.
If you find something you are really passionate about to do, you will see you will welcome every single moment alone to do it. And then after spending that time alone you will enjoy a thousand times more the company of your family when you get together.

Better 5 minutes of peace in the company of others than 24 hours of turmoil together. That 5 minutes last forever in your mind and make you wanna repeat then really soon.

Answer 2

Actually, I *don't* agree. Peace & loneliness can overlap in many ways, so I don't think there's any separation between them.

A better statement would be "there's a fine line between alone and lonely". That's another story. You're live alone now, have the house all to yourself. Of course you miss your family, but don't cheat yourself & forget the reasons why you got divorced. If you do realize it was a mistake, I hope some groveling can get them back, but judging by most divorces, you're all probably better off apart.

Aside from missing the good ol' days, there will be times when you get really lonely. When there's nobody around to ask you about your day, when you can't share some news or just laugh together at a silly joke on TV. We're human, we all need companionship, & you've had that 24/7 for a while.

Find yourself a good set of friends to share life with. It doesn't matter if it's the neighbors, a new girlfriend, or some chat room. Get a dog to drool over you when you get home every day after work. Meet with pals frequently, organize small parties, set a day a week to go bowling or something easy like that. Get a hobby you'd never had a chance to pursue while you were married. When you need to be alone again (yes, the peace can be very enjoyable), you can withdraw at your own leisure.

When (and IF) you're ready for another family, find someone to get serious with. Try to remember the lessons from the broken relationship & bring that experience over. If you decide marriage is not for you after all, your life doesn't have to be lonely at all. Being alone also mean being FREE! There's no schedule to match if you want to go on vacation, there's no compromise over which movie to watch or who owns the remote. Go out alone, there's no shame in that. Enjoy a good dinner, a show, a drive, anything. Move to a new neighborhood, walk around the house naked, sing along to the TV commercials. You live alone, ENJOY!

Answer 3

I agree with you. I have gone through the same thing and found that it was hard to accept the lonliness that went along with the peace. As I sit here and type I am alone and very much at peace. But it just feels empty. My kids have all grown up and have their own lives. The house stays clean, no arguments, no bickering, no demands, no place to be. It takes time to get use to it and finding things that fill your time that you enjoy. I'm sure you don't miss the storming around woman too much. If I had a partner like that it would drive me nuts. Fur would be flying. And my fur would be going out the door. Just try to let time take control and fill it with activities that you've wanted to do but have never done. I took up gardening. Most of it is filled with "I don't know's" but that's okay. If it's possible, get a pet. They bring comfort. And they don't talk back :) I wish you the best in finding peace w/o lonliness. Tis a very fine line.

Answer 4

Peace and loneliness is a state of mind. We each have the power to control or not control those feeling. With your situation, a major life transition, you will experience those and other feelings such as regret, self-pity, self doubt ,emotional relief or even happiness. You may questions decisions that brought you to this point. Or you may struggle to make simple decisions. The bottom line: you are where you are suppose to be. Why waste any life energy on loneliness. Enjoy what you have for the moment until you are ready to progress to the next stage of life.

Answer 5

Loneliness is what you yourself make it to be. If you think it is peace, it is. If you think it is loneliness then it is too. It's all in your own mind. Of course being at home every day of the year is rather hermit-like and lonely which I'm sure you are not. If you do go out and socialise occasionally, I wouldn't call that lonely. I would rather have a quiet and peaceful house than one in which all the members of the family are at each other's throats all the time. It's very stressful.

Answer 6

i wouldn't call it a FINE line, it's actually fairly broad. And within that broad stroke you can do what you should have done a long time ago. find love in yourself and you will never be alone no matter how many people are around you. Time for you to delve into all the things you have been missing and strengthen the wants and desires within yourself. Set your goals and go after them. Sitting around on the computer isn't very ambitious and even the easiest of divorces are hard no matter what. Don't et the silence fool you into thinking you have nothing to do.

Answer 7

Sometimes I feel like walking away from it all, my husband the 1 1/2 yr old twins and my 5 yr old but I just realized that I sometimes need time to myself. You apparently gave to much of urself to the marrisge and eneded up feeling bitter. If u would have taken time to ur self more often u would have realized how much u miss the things that used to piss u off the most. So yes too much peacefulness can be lonly n depressing. So learn how to have peaceful days but don't isolate ur self.

Answer 8

Peace is the feeling that you're secure and safe. Lonliness is the feeling that human contact is missing from your safety and security.

Do you feel like you're missing other people?

Finally, it's easier to put the 'fine line' theory into perspective: for instance, there's a fine line between a hobby and mental illness. Study on that for a moment, and go back to your peace and quiet.

How I envy you! - Stuart

Answer 9

Well do you have Christ in your life, if you do and your peaceful that does help because HE is always there, but yes I do think that because we all want the compassion and human there on a constant basis that we can hang out/talk to whatever have you but sometimes I think its good because you said it yourself your handling business so stay busy not to burn yourself out and go out a little bit to some events and hang out with some other singles and or couples who will encourage you and just keep pressing, I believe you will be alright...be blessed hope this helped

Answer 10

it really is a good line between a sport and a competion yet sometimes I take a seat lower back and seem at how some distance we've come And its problematical to have self belief that its in straightforward words merely started. now to not Self - Horrorshow.