I am filing for divorce after finding out my soon to be ex cheated on me a couple of times. I had enough and want to move on. I have 2 kids, a gal 13 and a boy 11. My gal is okay with it but my son is a little sad about what is about to happen. As for me, I know my journey ahead is not going to be smooth either but I just had to get it over with.
Just wanna know what your life is like after the divorce.
2006-07-03 04:56:08 · 7 answers · asked by DiL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry you have to go through all this. My ex and I were together for 15 years. Through the years he became verbally abusive and (unknown to me till the end) unfaithful. He apparently slept with several women,including a former friend. In your case, you asked for the divorce. It will make things MUCH easier for you. In my case, I was so beaten down by him emotionally, he asked for the divorce. Now 3.5 years later I see it as a huge gift to me. As I can honestly say I am now happily divorced. We weren't able to have kids, so you have that added responsibility to your life. Which can be good and bad. I know it took me several months to get over the shock and betrayal. And now almost 4yrs later have learned about so many lies he told. A few things that helped me through were having a few really good female friends to lean on. And knowing there was no time limit in the healing process. You're going to go forward and backward in this process, it's normal. Another thing is to be good to yourself. Sounds silly, but make sure you're eating ok and getting sleep. If you're not ok, you're kids won't be either. They'll look to you for how to act. Once things calm down (in a few months or year) look to doing things you may be not been able to do in your marriage. Like taking a class, trying a new hobby, travel. Also make sure you have some "adult alone" time with friends now and then. You're going to NEED that. And as much as an butt as your soon-to-be-ex is, never talk down about him around the kids. Being a child of divorce too, I remember all that bickering back and forth between my parents. I don't know you, but applaud your great strength in ending the relationship.Having been there, it must have been a huge and difficult decision. You're not only saving your future but your children's(especially your daughter) by showing them what is right and how to stand up for themselves. You say your life won't be smooth...when is it ever smooth? Especially with kids.LOL. Keep your sense of humor and hold on to the fact that you've already done the hard part. Stay strong and feel blessed you're getting out now and have two beautiful children as well. I wish you well on your journey. I know you can do it!
2006-07-03 05:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by ShellRe' 3 · 14⤊ 2⤋
Well I filed for divorce right after my husband was arrested for bank robbery. He was arrested on a friday and I filed on the following monday. I thought to myself how am I gonna do this. I have a 13yr daughter not his and a 3 year old son by him. It is very hard and I am so glad we had no property or anything. It only took 3 months for my divorce and I was sad because it wasn't what I wanted but it was for the best. It takes some time to heal and there is someone out there for you. And the biggest things with me is the trust issue. He always use to lie to me and I think that how am I gonna be able to trust again. It sucks to because I am not getting help from anyone. I don't receive child support because he is in jail I work 10 hour days. If you are feeling depressed over the issue seek some counseling and medication if need be. It helps I have done it. It just feels good to have someone to talk to so try it. It can't hurt. I hope this helps.
Good Luck Sweetie!!
2006-07-03 05:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by gleva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I married the same guy twice. And after each divorce from him it was kind of hard. But time does heal. I was left with hardly no money, no job and no car. So I had to go out and find a job real fast and try to save up some money so I could move out. We had two houses, so that helped alot. It does get alot better in time. I am now doing very well for myself . And my kids are almost grown and are Great Kids! Just take one day at a time!
Good luck
2006-07-03 10:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by C. S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As you say, it isn't easy. The hardest part is that to some degree we all tend to blame ourselves or spend a lot of time trying to figure out what we did that was so wrong that led to the divorce. In your case you have two wonderful kids to focus your life on so I hope you don't waste your time doing this because they deserve more. Start by focusing on yourself and them and what it takes to make a wonderful life for the three of you. Once you accomplish that then you will be ready to start looking for a new relationship which of course will come with its own set of issues but will be much easier if you've taken time to make something special of your life ahead of time so that your just looking for someone to make it even better rather than needing someone to rescue you and be the fix all for your life.
2006-07-03 05:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm about interior an same boat as you except i'm a male who became married 12 years. i'm at present dealing with a divorce and that i have 2 youthful ones. it really is complicated. i presumed i wanted a divorce in the initiating, yet now i do not comprehend. My spouse nonetheless looks to desire a divorce. She has somewhat replaced on condition that she had our second new child, lost her job, and positioned out her mom has degree 4 maximum cancers. We grew to change into disconnected and that i don't think of i visit reconnect, yet i have researched somewhat on a thanks to do this. I prayed that the Lord enable the superb accessible effect ensue. attempt chatting with acquaintances and relations. possibly see a therapist? even as the spouse advised me she wanted a divorce i became devastated for 2 weeks then recovered. Then i got here across out she has "thoughts" for a a lot older guy and it hit me back. it really is a actual curler-coaster vacation of thoughts. i'm no longer 100% innocuous as I had a 6 month affair with a coworker proper earlier I were given married.
2016-10-14 02:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by restrepo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great if you take the time now to focus on your needs. It 's always going to be about the kids...but now you get to see about yourself.
Go to college.........
Find a job you like to do.........
What makes you happy?
I am newly divorced and had to focus on these same questions.
I am fulfilling my lifelong dream of being a teacher, working on my Master's Degree.......actually, (lol) I just posted a question myself on the things single people do because it's new for me too.
It gets lonely, but that passes, and then you're ok. So I'm looking to please my inner child too!
NOW it gets to be about YOU. And that's the fun part.
2006-07-03 05:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think everyone is different sweety.
2006-07-03 05:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by Julie G 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋