I am feeling lonely & loosing interest in everything?

Question

1) Work environment is not motivating, its the same routine & less scope for growth & self improvement, extended working hours
2) At home, its just silence or fight with parents (may be due to generation gap),
3) I do not have any girlfriends, now i have lost confidence that i can any as i am already 28 yrs old
4) I am not finding anything interesting to look forward to in life

How to cope up with such a situation? I am getting depressed, frustrated.
Pls help me get some focus in life?

Answer 1

I've dealt with lack of motivation / uncertainty over direction my entire life (although I am married, w/ kids). My work has never been fulfilling, but I'm not sure how to find something I do like to do.

One thing I would do (despite the extra cost) is get out of your parents' house (if I read that right). You have a job and you are 28. Part of your boredom is that you are an adult, but you're still in a "kids" role and dependent on your parents. Seriously, that could be contributing a great deal to your lack of direction and inability to find something new to pursue.

Having to take care of yourself is an adventure on its own, and often opens up new opportunities. It would also offer the possibility of girlfriends -- I doubt there are very many girls who want to date a guy your age still living with his parents, and you don't have any privacy in which to build relationships with women or even people in general.

What do you like to do, as a jobby or otherwise? What are you good at? Set an arbitrary goal, then commit to pursuing it and simply enjoying the time DOING it rather than judging it by the outcome. You don't need to have the perfect goal up front, you simply need to be doing something and seeing what "works" for you.

Yes, maybe a therapist can help, and maybe an anti-depressant can help, but it sounds to me like most of your boredom and lack of purpose comes from the fact that you have not yet stepped fully into independent adulthood because you're living with your parents. You need to get out, as the first step. And the confidence that would come with that would enable you to push forward in other areas of life.

One step at a time.

Answer 2

Sit down and figure out what you can change. If you aren't in a position to make big changes right away like moving or changing your job, make small changes. I know this is going to sound silly but sometimes the little things do make a difference. Please try it before trying a prescription. I'm not against seeking the help of a doctor for true depression, but it won't hurt anyone to try this first.
Okay this is all about trying new things even if they seem odd or mundane.
Work: Do something different to your workspace... rearrange, reorganize, it makes your brain work harder just to locate a pen or a paper clip or something to write on. Perks up and makes you more alert. Talk to people you don't normally socialize with.

Home: Same thing, move stuff around, re-evaluate your wardrobe, pull out stuff you haven't worn in a while, get some new clothes even if you have to do it on the cheap at a the thrift stores, sales, etc.

Parents: Spend five minutes talking about something they like to do or have an interest in. Then move on. Anything is better than fighting.

Girlfriends Work on a really HONEST but INTERESTING personal ad and edit it until you're satisfied with it and post it EVERYWHERE.

Your question reveals intelligence and a desire to achieve excellence. You can do this! Go for it!

Answer 3

I feel the same a lot. It's a human thing. I'm with someone now, but the same routine can become so well boring. Every one needs a change. Why don't you take a small vacation and not worry about a thing. Make your life exciting. Do something spontaneous. I'm sorry that I'm not much help right now. Just think how boring life would be if you didn't have anything. I say hi. That is something to look forward too, maybe. I'm adding more to this. I wanted to know how you are doing. I hope that you are doing good. Here is a hug to make your day. Email me if you want to talk, or just to let me know you got this. Have a good day.

Answer 4

Try to muster some confidence and put yourself out there. Dating would give you something to look forward to. Also, consider moving out of your parents' house. Living on your own is a great way to find your own path and learn confidence through independence. Try finding a hobby too. Being good at something you enjoy and striving to be better is self-improvement, even if it doesn't involve your career. As far as job dissatisfaction, most people struggle with that. Try to remember that it's just a job. Work hard while you're there, but enjoy yourself when you're not. If you don't see room for growth, try thinking about a career change, and look into what you can do to accomplish it. That could be something else to look forward to! Hope this helps. Keep your chin up! Everybody goes through what you're going through at some point. I know I have, and I'm only 25. Don't give up. Things will get better.

Answer 5

Right now open up Microsoft Word and formulate a new Resume. Your employer doesn't have to know you've done this...actually...don't do it at your work computer. Start to attend free programs at bookstores, the library and church. Get to know the presenters and since everyone talks to THEM, pretty soon you'll be meeting new people. Get out of the house at home. Consider buying a bicycle and even a biking magazine. Biking really brightens my days. Just feeling yourself whipping through the wind, climbing hills, et cetera is cool. Don't try any prescriptions until you use an herbal supplement called ST. JOHN'S WORT. As long as you're not on any prescribed medication it has no side effects but if you take it as directed and keep taking it, in about 3 weeks, nothing will get you down, but you won't be ridiculously giddy either. You'd be surprised what would happen if you just strike up a conversation with a girl..she could be the checkout girl at the drug store or someone you see at one of those library programs I told you about. Also, consider finding a progressive church...many exist not only for bible teaching, but to keep people like you healthy and productive in our day to day lives. Bless you!
~Sleek

Answer 6

It sounds like you are depressed, as in clinically depressed. It is a very real mental illness that strikes most Americans at some point or another in their lives. If you have a depressed, angry or empty mood, have difficulties with sleep (too much or too little), appetite changes (too much or too little), don't find enjoyment in anything you used to (anhedonia), cry a lot, have persistent feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness or helplessness, etc. you could be in an episode of Major Depressive Disorder. Go see a doctor and answer their questions honestly. Make sure it's a doctor who knows about depression. Several things can cause this, from side effects of medications to unresolved grief to situations in life out of our control to chemical imbalances in the brain. It is not a character flaw or weakness -- THIS IS A TREATABLE MEDICAL CONDITION -- and should be treated as soon as possible. Please...get some help.

Answer 7

I went through something similar and found that it had nothing to do with anything external, it was internal. A family friend gave me the book Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch to read. I let it sit there for weeks before I picked it up to look at it. I thought it would be something preachy or boring. Was I ever wrong! It gave me a new, fresh perspective on life and set me on a journey of self-discovery. Now, I don't believe every single word in the book, which is why I felt the need to do more independent research, but it certainly has a very life affirming message. I loved it!

Answer 8

Take a break for a week. Go out to some place where you have longed to go for a long long time. Go alone and make the strangers your best of friends.

Close your eyes and relax. Try to visualize why things are getting wrong for you.Is it because of you or is it because of others around you. Write down the areas you need to focus for ur self development.

Try not to confront ur parents on slightest of issues.If you cannot do without them the best part is to compromise with them on some valid grounds but not all. tell them u have grown up and u too have a life of ur own. tell them how deeply u love them and feel for them and respect them. tell them u also want the similar degree of love and affection from them as well.

as for girl friends .... lot of people do not have any ... so nothing to worry about...cheer up friend...a day will come u will have sooo many of them that u will find them too hot to handle !!!!

lastly always look down and see there are lot of people who are living in a much worser condition than u are currently. feel for them and thank the almighty for all that He has bestowed upon you. never curse ur own fortune because if u do that u can never have happiness in ur life........

enjoy, make friends, meditate, think and above all pls take a week's off from ur daily routine life !!!

Answer 9

It may help to keep in mind that you are responsible for your life. It may help to try and focus on the present moment letting go of thoughts of the past that have nothing more than a negative impact on the now, and to let go of expectations of future events. It may also help to get some physical exercise as well as some new challenges in you life, get out of your comfort zone.

The best thing that you can do is to let people into your life, meaning answer your phone, hang out with your friends, be honest with them and your family. Do not spend a majority of your time alone or in relationships that aren't meaningful.

The goal is not to be happy, it is to fell and/or be in control of your life.

Answer 10

i can understand that work can be mundane which will inevitably bring you down... and socially, its pressuring to have a girlfriend - & if you dont then you think you're missing out... i used to feel the same way - except i would have wanted a bf haha - plain and simply: you are going to have to try and look at things optimistically... i used to be very depressed and nothing i did would cheer me up - but then i realized you only live once - and you are still soo young - thats when you grab a friend and go to a baseball game or something - and just start to talk a little more with co-workers to attempt to make your day more enjoyable - hopefully once you do see that each day you will never get back - you'll start making the most of them & get out of your rut!! :)