My friend's husband cheated on her. They have three beautiful children, the youngest, under a year old. She hasn't asked me right out what I think yet, it's most just been letting her cry, and comforting her. But when she does ask (and I know she will) should I tell her that "He's a lying bastard and she should leave him" like I want to, or should I lie and tell her to work it out, it's hard because of the children, he is a great father with them.
2006-07-03 04:22:34 · 28 answers · asked by goodcanadiangirl 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Children are never a reason to stay together, especially in bad relationships. I've known so many that got married because an accidental pregnancy. He cheated once, he's not happy. He'll do it again. He can still be a wonderful father but in his own place. It's not fair to your friend to put up with him daily just because of the children. Tell her maybe in a nicer way that she may want to consider divorce.
2006-07-03 04:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You shouldn't tell her anything. You ask her how she feel. When she asks you what you think she should do, you counter it with asking her what she thinks she should do. If she says I don't know; than give her the options and tell her that as hard as it is, this is a problem only she can solve. If she does what you tell her to do, who knows, it may end up the absolute wrong decision. You job as a friend is not an adviser, yours is to help her work out what SHE needs to happen here.
2006-07-03 11:29:48 · answer #2 · answered by L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she ask you if she should leave him just say that is something you must decide. This isn't a decision anyone can make for her she must decide what she wants.
Staying married for the sake of the children isn't a reason to stay together and her divorce if she is concerned with the church would be scriptual.
2006-07-03 11:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by Firestorm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is hard question!!!
BUT, no matter what i think that always is better to tell the truth because your friend may hate you if she finds out that you know the truth and you didn't warn her.
The best choise is TRUTH.
Yes, i know is hard, she have children and all that stuffs but is better to now the truth than living in lies.
2006-07-03 11:31:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sanja 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. You need to be supportive. I dont think I would tell her what to do, but I think it would be better for her and the kids if she worked it out. But obviously the relationship is lacking something and that is why the guy is getting something on the side. I think they should work it out, and if he does it again then she should leave him. Its not worth getting hurt over. Tell her that she should work it out with him.
2006-07-03 11:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk with her and offer her sympathy and then tell her it needs to HER decision, not yours. Lay out the different scenarios for her such as separation, divorce, counsel ling, working it out for themselves and the children, but DO NOT select for her what she should do. Even though you are her friend, her husband's and her relationship is really none of your business.
I hope this helps.
2006-07-03 11:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it your duty to resolve the mess they are in? The Wife was crying because she found out, or he told her etc... was the marriage breaking down anyway? The Kids probably knew something was wrong months ago....pitty the Mother didn't pick up on her childrnes signals.
2006-07-03 11:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by KnightZone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs your support right now, not your opinion. Give her the facts and let her make up her own mind. She deserves to know the facts because his fooling around might even be a threat to her health.
2006-07-03 11:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Carl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He's a lying bastard, leave him" may be to harsh on her.Say it but in a different way" He lied to you, I think you need marriage counceling to help work it out." Cuz thats what they need, and If they do decide to divorce, they need someone to help them figure out what to do about their children.
2006-07-03 11:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by poisonpassion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay out of it if I were you. They need to resolve their own problems. Do what you've been doing but if you know anything keep it to yourself. If you do tell her, her anger could turn on you easily. It usually starts with, "You knew all this time...". Not to mention there is a child involved.
2006-07-03 11:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋