Since young I had an inexplicable attraction to some female frns. Usually close frns at first, then it moves onto the romantic side, sometimes I would think about going on dates..holding hands..heck even rather erotic fantasies and dreams (yes wet dreams..)
My problem is, I really want to stop thinking this way, it gets really heartbreaking.. cos
1)I live in an asian society, its not easy for myself to accept being lesbian, much less dare own up to parents/relatives/frns..
2)I had fessed up to 2 gals that I really liked (2 separate occasions of cos) but I got ignored/avoided etc, I am thankfull none of them told my family or like spread gossips etc...but it was very very very heartbreaking..I felt like a disease..
3)I find it gets in the way..I wan to keep my frns.. I dont want to keep thinking wildly about a frn..feel unbearable..then repeat 2) over and over again..
In short.. I just wan to stop having les thots!!! its making my mind crazy! How can I ever do it?
2006-07-03 04:19:54 · 10 answers · asked by acnemycin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you are a lesbian, sweetie, then there's not a whole lot you can do about that. My suggestion would be that you try to develop some friendships within the gay community which may lead to a relationship. I have no doubt that there are other Aisian lesbians if this is what you are looking for! Yahoo Groups is a great place to start your search. You may even find there is a lesbian email group within your own community. There certainly is in my area and it's been a source of friendships and support. Good luck to you! Be proud of who you are!!!!
2006-07-03 04:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well you could turn towards your religious belief for help and support and guidance. However those are only somewhat affective. Many people turn to them and they help for a short amount of time.
The problem here is not your thoughts but your fears. It sound like you have a lot of them. It sounds like most of all you fear what everyone on this plant fears, rejection of being loved.
However, lying to yourself won't help. If you have these feelings and thoughts that you might be lesbian, then you probably are a lesbian. Rejecting these feeling will in the long run cause you to be depressed and full of anxieties like you are now. This is not healthy.
I suggest you find a quiet discreet way to experiment with these thoughts and ideas. If you are not a lesbian, then this will answer these questions and put them to rest. If you are, you find new pleasures in life and the love you want and desire.
If you decide you are a lesbian, and your family rejects you. You will find a new family of friends that will accept you and love you. Be brave and strong during these times.
2006-07-03 04:34:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've pretty much got two options: you can accept the fact that you have these thoughts, and then ignore them all your life. It's not a happy life, and it's a struggle. That's the "ex-gay" option, but you will NEVER get rid of your attractions.
OR
You could try to seek out whatever gay community you can. Either the underground where you live (there's just about always an underground, thought it might have a unique set of dangers), or move to a place that's a little more accepting (by no means completely accepting; such places don't exist) and meet people there who can help you to realize that the problem is society's and not yours.
2006-07-03 13:05:43 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, and you probably don't want to hear it, but sweetheart, you can't get rid of them. This whole thing happened to me. I'm going through it right now. Ok. A couple of months ago, I was having crazy thoughts about girls. I went online, I even almost met someone in person. But now, as I still like girls, I am starting to like guys a little too. But, ok, this might be a phase, or you might actually be a lesbian. I'm still in the moment of deciding my sexuality. But, do NOT hold back on telling your friends. You'll be scared but, it's rare they won't except you. But wait a couple of months before telling everyone. Ok? Make sure you are in fact a lesbian. It might just as easily be a phase. I really do wish you the best. Oh, this might not help, but there's this moving called "Saving Face." It's about a Chinese-American, (I know this isn't your culture) lesbian and her traditionalist mother that are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations. You might want to rent it. It might help you out a bit. Good luck! :)
2006-07-03 04:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you??? by the way you write I would assume that you're old enough to understand and know the diff between just having fantasies or if you would really do something like that (with your girlfriends) The reason why I asked for your age is because when I was younger I also had dreams like that, most of the women I would fantasize with would be famous people but it all went away when I finally fell in love with my husband now, I still think how would it feel to do something with a girl ans stuff like that but I also know that I love my husband and would not trade his c0(k for anything, so maybe you should think about that...do you like guys? do you fantasize having sex with males?
I f you're still a teen I think you shouldn't worry about it, I think we all have had those kind of dreams about our best friends....just make sure you think about how you really feel and what your priorities are...good luck....
p.s try having sex with an experienced man and maybe you'll like it and forget about all these weird feelings (of course only if you're over 18)
2006-07-03 04:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by lf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should marry a man who allows you to be with women. I would never stop my wife from playing with women. I don't want to watch or be involved, but i do want my partner to live a life that is fulfilled. You would be surprised how many men like me are out there. I even know of Asian men who encourage this in their wives. My business is involved with people like this, that's how i know. The secret is to be open and honest from the start, any man worth having will understand your needs, some will run away. If this is not what you want then be just as honest with your friends, those who run were not your friends and those who stay???? Tony in remotest Indo China.
2006-07-03 05:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be you, that's all any of us can be. So you like girls instead of boys, don't beat up on yourself. You may want to seek out some professional counseling to resolve this, but I suggest that resolving will have more to do with accepting then changing. Good luck kid, my heart is touched by your troubled comments and I'll say a prayer for you.
2006-07-03 04:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Don't let your mind drive you crazy.You have a healthy sex drive but it wants to go somewhere you don't want it to- you should be thinking about boys (not girls) try finding you a boyfriend & see if this will turn your feelings around - if you can't change yourself - you may have to accept yourself- BUT keep your preference a secret to your family & straight friends..... good luck!
2006-07-03 04:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your feelings are true, if you really KNOW and are CONVINCED you're a lesbian, there's nothing you can do about it. If you don't face it, and if you're not true to yourself, you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life.
2006-07-03 07:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it, you're a lesbian.
2006-07-03 05:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋