What does it mean when your wife of 6 yrs would rather sleep on the couch than come to bed?

Question

We have been married for 6 yrs and used to have a great sex life.
This actuallys started a few years ago. She is in a highly stressful job, but so am I.
She has been zoning out in front of the tv all night until he falls asleep. She gives me one excuse after another.
She's not fooling around because I can always get a hold of her on her cell phone and at work. Also, she comes home for lunch and calls me if she's gonna work OT. Her paychecks say she worked OT.
She's also home every night.No strange calls on her cell phone.
We had the estrogen and other health checks done. No problems there.
She smokes regularly (at least a pack a day). I read somewhere that smoking decreases libido. I don't smoke.
Is this enough to divorce her? She is also sarcastic and verbally abusive.

Answer 1

how's your hygiene ?

Answer 2

I've been married three times. Two died young.
The third? God, the last thing I or anyone should/ wants to do is suggest something that may not be true,

If the both of you cannot discuss this openly, I would suggest therapy. If she refuses, you can do that alone.
I could give you all that I went through but won't. It may not apply in your case. OT? Things at work do happen, so OT & pay is not the criteria. I'm sure you want to save your marriage, and I'd bet that if you ask her point blank is there anyone else, she'll deny it. There is always a certain amount of guilt that one is not able to face up to, especially if children are in the picture. Your time married suggests that you both are still young. Yes, a physical condition could be the reason but if not that, sorry to say, it suggests something else. I went through doctors too, but I'm now certain it was for show, until I learned the truth.

A pack a day won't do that.

If you would like to know my suggestion, IM me. You have to ask. I will not volunteer on this board. And I hope my suspicions are totally wrong. Good luck.
Cell phones? Bane of my life. She forwarded the office phone to her cell phone. I could reach her anytime, whether I called her on cell or at the office.

Answer 3

Maybe she handles her stress in a different way than you do?
Ok, you say she is not having an affair....then rule out that possibility. It could be both mental and physical exhaustion due to stress.

I don't believe your reasons are valid for considering a divorce. Her being sarcastic and verbally abusive most likely stem from stress. And she probably doesn't even realize she is acting out in this way.

Talk to her. Express your concerns. Try marriage counseling as an option.

Answer 4

Could it be your mattress? Get a new one if that isn't the problem try talking to her and find out what the problem is. Ever heard of deleting phone calls on the cell phone? How about forwarding the work number to the cell phone. Technology has a way of making things a lot more sneakier. Hate to break it to you like this but someone has to tell you.

Answer 5

Sounds like she is tired and stressed out, and when that's going on the sex drive is gone. Be patient with her. As far as divorce, if you feel that you are in a genuinely abusive marriage get out of it. But if you are just frustrated because your sex life has gone downhill, I personally don't think that is a good enough reason. What happened to "for better or for worse"?

Answer 6

Dont Devorce her I would give her some space for a little while since she is so stressed Then try to rekindle the magic , Depending on her age maybe metapose is near by . Im sorry to hear about verball abuse not sure what to tell you about that one !

Answer 7

That alone is no reason for divorce. I have fallen asleep on the couch many nights.After working all day all you wont to do is relax, then once you get settled your are to tired and comfortable to get up, I have done it many times. Do you have a TV in your bedroom that she lay down and relax there to watch TV? When y'all get the chance just spend a whole day in bed naked watching TV, it is comfortable and relaxing. I smoke and it doesn't hurt my libido, but tiredness and stress REALLY get to me at times and I REALLY just want to sleep. Talk to her, if you can't talk write her a letter.

Answer 8

You may have some breakdowns in other areas of your relationship. If you suspect that she is cheating, this may suggest that you have an issue with trust in the relationship. She may have issues with you as well. It may be helpful to discuss your feelings with her. That she is sarcastic and verbally abusive likely contributes significantly to the problem. Both of you may need marriage counseling to get this issue resolved.

Answer 9

she may need counseling it is possable she is depressed or possable that she can't figure out how to lose the symptons of stress and pressure of home. she needs a good friend and maybe a two week vacation away from where you live so that she can lose the stress. women and men deal with problems way differnt. mars and venus

Answer 10

sit down and talk...something is wrong and I don't see to much love coming from her...divorce? that is a strong word but a possibility...tell her how you feel...but for what i read things are pretty bad between you guys...talk talk talk...communication is the key to solve all problems...even when you have to stand in front of her and turn off the TV to get her attention...have a conversation, a serious one, let her know you are ready to let her go, maybe she feels very secure about the relationship, let her know it is i jeopardy and it is not because of you.

Answer 11

she is handling the "stress" differently than you, maybe if you made more $$, she could cut back and you'd have your wife/lover again! maybe you should check your finances and see where you can either cut back of drop some non essential services to allow her to work less hours...your the man of the house, act like one! running away does not make you a man, and will not solve either of your problems.