I get paid fairly well to travel around the country doing hospital work. I travel with the wife and she loves me and following me. We normally fight about her not working and/or her overcomsumtion. And I have started opening my eyes to the fact that she is an amazing house wife. However, I dont want her to be a housewife. I want her to be sucessful outside the home. But she had a couple bad drinking and driving instences when she was younger and a third a couple years ago. She lost her option for school grants because she dropped too many classes. So as anyone could imagine she stays just a bit depressed, sleeps a lot, drinks a lot. But I am building resentment toward her for giving up. I have recently been enforcing "tuff love." Not being affectionate spending more time with friends away from the home. to prove two points (1) if the worst were to happen to me what would she do. (2) secondly, maybe it will motivate her to "want more" for herself and in turn more for us.
2006-07-03 02:48:46 · 9 answers · asked by Joshua P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get some counseling for both of you. This can get some of the problems out in the open without a big argument. Don't expect big changes in a short time. I would work first on the drinking and once that is solved I would worry about her working.
2006-07-03 02:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Norm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot on your plate, and should be commended for making an effort before letting go. Ask her what she wants to see if it includes any of the things you'd like for her. Although, she may be taking your efforts the wrong way. Communicating with her about your wants & expectations for her would be the best way to handle this. Let her know that councelling may be needed to help her focus on what's really bothering her that tends to be holding her back. DWI's don't ever go away, so she may even need to visit AA's meetings now & then. Let her take some responsibility of getting her life together, which may help her to build her confidence.
2006-07-03 10:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love is really good, you have you tried talking to her about how you are feeling? Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Communication is the foundation that your house sits on. If you don't have a good foundation for your house to sit on, what's going to happen?
2006-07-03 09:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by Wanna get down not the 1st night 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to her about this. If things dont change give her an ultamatum
2006-07-03 09:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by lunatic_no9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should of stuk by her side and tryed to get her help and if she didny whant it then you need to go on your way as hard as it will be go
2006-07-03 09:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by tonydiekman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she need A.A. first.Then when she sobers up she may want a job with out you saying anything.
2006-07-03 09:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wrong game plan there buddy. she needs an al;cohol treatment plan or AA.
2006-07-03 09:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mite as well just kick her to the curb that will be the effect i don't think she will be to happy about that
2006-07-03 10:00:11 · answer #8 · answered by 66hamerheadPD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's an alcoholic, and you cant "make" her stop... she Needs treatment, but unless she wants it, she will not succeed...
2006-07-03 10:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋