What should I do, my boyfriend doesn't understand?

Question

My friend Jessica died in a car crash when picking Amy, my 7yr old cousin (to which I am now her guardian) up from school to save Amy's life, Amy is now in hospital, my boyfriend doesn't seem to understand, he just said it'll be ok, You've got other friends, now come and make love to me, I don't think he gives a toss about me or my feelings, I don't know what to do, can someone please tell me what I should do, Katie

Answer 1

i am so sorry for your lose and most of all that your boyfriend is not sensitive to your needs now. You are grieving and should be and need to! if he doesn't understand this, he is not the man for you. maybe he thinks making love will make you feel better, but it sounds as if he is selfish.

Answer 2

He probably doesn't know what to do or say himself. Men aren't that great when it comes to certain things. When he starts saying things like that tell him how you feel and if he still doesn't understand than he's an ***. Break up with him and move onto someone who's better in understanding or take that time to yourself and your cousin Amy. When she is out of the hospital she'll need a lot of help getting over things. And you need to concentrate on her more until you think she'll be ok.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a tragedy. My first reaction is to dump your bf because he seems so non-supportive. However, it could be that he just doesn't know how to give support at a time like this...most people don't. It is a very difficult situation to relate to and we don't know what we should say/do. IF he is a good person and shows that he loves you in other ways, try to get him to go with you to a grief support group. If he won't go, that is a pretty good sign that he doesn't care to put forth the effort to help you. I hope you will find one in your area, they are always listed in the classified ads...friends of mine who have lost children have gone and said they have gained so much from meeting others who have gone through tragedies like this. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of that little girl. Your bf may not be the person you need in your life right now.

Answer 4

Sounds like he honestly doesnt know what to do about it? Or else he's totally selfish and just wants to bang.

I'd have a sit down discussion with him about his behavior. Explain to him that you are really in pain right now, you lost your friend, your cousin who you love is in pain and in the hospital and theres nothing you can do about anything. Except feel this agonizing pain. And what you want the most is for him to AT LEAST be sympathetic, like someone who loves you would be.

Tell him that by acting like its no big deal and wanting to some how smooth it over with sex does nothing but expose him as the most uncaring inept individual in this situation.

If you wouldnt marry someone who treated you like this in your time of need, why would you continue to date someone who did? Your partner should love you more than himself, just as you should love him more than yourself. If you're in pain and going through a rough time, he, above all people, should be right there at your wide doing all he can to some how see you through.

Answer 5

i think katie since u r amy's guardian its your responsibility to take good care of ur cousin. you try convincing your boyfriend that you people have whole life to make love but your cousin's life needs only a few days of care. i pray 4 fast recovery of amy

Answer 6

Hey, love is nothing one caring for the others and converse is trues as well, but in this case your boy frnd never wanna care abt ur feelings it seems, this is some thing serious to be honest u`ve chosen a wrong person as ur love. he does know that u r not in a position to do love with him at the moment cos the one u love is ill. i`m sure u`ve gone wrong in selecting ur love, better luck next time forget that **** guy

Answer 7

This is from a guy - I would seriously re-evaluate your relationship with your "boyfriend" and ask yourself - Do you really want a boyfriend who is so (a) insensitive; (b) selfish and self-centered? Where do you see your relationship going? If you were in dire straights, would he be there for you or would he go find someone else?

I think if you ask yourself these questions, you'll find out that you could probably do alot better.

Answer 8

Sounds like he just want sex,sex,sex. Thats all he cares about. A real boyfriend, would lean his shoulder to cry on. He would care enuf for your feeling's and the problems you are having. Toss him, he not worth kissing on.
He got one part of the body, he is thinking from and it's not his mind.

Answer 9

hey i think u should call him 2 the hospital n show ur cousin 2 him then take him 2 a garden or a peaceful place and explain him everything u want 2 m sure everything is gonna b alright!!:)

Answer 10

Sounds like he dont love you or respect your feelings. Maybe he is very young? Sounds like you need to tell him about how your feeling, If he still dont understand I would say kick him to the curb and find someone that will treat you right and respect you. Good luck