Should an 11 year old have the choice in which school they'll attend this fall?

Question

i am one year separated, divorce is almost finalizeded. my daughter is in preivate school and has been accepted to the BAK school of the arts; she and I went to the orientation (amazing). we both saw the potential and wonderful opportunity. since... her mom has decided it waould be best if she stays at her "familiar school" where she is loved and "comfortable". Divorce is hard. I feel terrible, yet blown opportunities are a waste.

Answer 1

NO! how possibly could an 11 Y/O possible know what is best for them? that is why the parents have to care for their CHILDREN until they are 18 and usually they do even after that! (hence i wouldn't let a 17 y/o choose either).

an 11 y/o would NOT know about the CIRCULUM and BUDGET improvements or lack there of that the city decides on, or the TEACHERS or anything else an 11 y/o has NO WAY of finding out!!

Answer 2

Not really enough detail to answer... but I'll give it a try....

It depends on the 11 year old, the school, and the reason there is a choice. If the choice is public or private then family finances need to be a major consideration since the parents are the ones responsible for that bill. Also quality of local public schools needs to be a major consideration since it's possible for a child to receive an excellent education in many public school systems in this country. Private schools are not necessarily always better.

If it's a choice between private schools, what are the reasons the child would have input and what would that be? Is it about athletics, where his friends are going, the color of the uniform, a social stigma attached to the school, classes or intramurals offered there that are not offered at another school or what?

I believe, that the bottom line, no matter what the situation, is that an 11 year old should have INPUT into the school selection... but absolutely not the final CHOICE. Let him/her have their say... listen carefully... validate as many of their reasons as you can... let them know they've been heard... and that their opinion is respected... but the final decision must be the parents' because the child is, after all, still a child. We're not talking about a young adult of 18 choosing a college... we're talking about an 11 year old and no matter how gifted level bright... still a child.

Answer 3

My child was a 11 when she decided which school to attend but I check it out as well, I wasn't sure at first why she wanted to. But soon realized it was becasue of her other friends who were going .. I transferred her without a dought. However I believe if you let them decide something now for themselves it helps them in the long run when they get older on making right or wrong choices, Letting them make decisions on there own will help you and them get along better as long as they are reasonable, and they are willing to compermise with you on restrictions as you checking out the choice they made in such a decision as such.. Don't be afriad to let let them make a choice specially if it is sucha small one as such at hand.. Children are very smart at even a younger age group these days then 11, Communicateing with your child as well, is very possiable at a 11... I and my daughter have a good relationship of course we bump heads now and again, but in the long run we are all good.... sit down an talk with your 11 year old if you haven't already on why they want to go, and that if you let them choose then they must let you check out the school first its background they rep of the school, The teachers, and such.. they will let you with out a probelme I am sure.. also let them know that this is a choice that can not be reversed that once they make it then its a done deal, so that if problems at the school happen and they change their mind later that you will not transferr them back or to somewhere else. Part of making your own choice is you learn from it, and take what it gives you good or bad.. Its part of growing up. Good luck and have at it.

Answer 4

Depends on the circumstances and the choices. If you feel that there are two valid choices then there is nothing wrong with giving your 11 year old input. Maybe he's miserable at his private school and wants to attend public school with his friends. You definitely should at least consider something like that in your decision.

Ultimately the decision is up to the parent - but he is likely to do better in an environment that he is happy in and there is nothing wrong with allowing him to express how he feels.

However, if you truly feel a particular school is in his best interest and he doesn't want to go there - you need to do what you think is best for your child.

Answer 5

Being a teacher, I think an 11year old should be asked and listened to. Hopefully the parents are not blindly putting their child into a school, but are actually doing some research on the reputation of the teachers for the upcoming grade and the curriculum. I think it should be a joint discussion with the parents making the final decision.

Answer 6

I don't think the choice should be left solely to them, but I think an 11 year old is old enough to have preferences and habits and ideals. They should definitely be guided through weighing ALL of the pros and cons of the various schools if they have more than one choice. Part of the reason kids in this country are so screwed up these days is that we give them no sense of personal accountability.

Answer 7

I made the choice for them until HS graduation then they got pick their college and support their choice with written documentation so no, not at the age of 11 BUT the child could be given the opportunity to voice preference with supporting arguments

Answer 8

No The School District Should Choose

Answer 9

well... depends on how different the schools are.... if theyre about the same and its just between 1 location or another, then its no big deal

if its a matter of better education vs where the friends good, then its not the 11 year olds choice

Answer 10

Well, in my expert opinion (yeah right). If you are the parent i would give you child a possible choice as to where they would like to go...within reason. If you are in the correct district then let them pick. I was moved from MI to MO and didn't have a choice in the matter. You make the decision.