How to survive while taking care of terminal spouse ?

Answer 1

I took care of my husband while he had esophogeal cancer. Inviting hospice in was the best thing I ever did. Not only did they provide repsite care, but they had a social worker to help me and the kids while he was dying. Get in touch with hospice in your area.

Answer 2

That is the hardest job in the world, and believe me I know because I cared for my daughter the last 6 months of her life. You just have to take one day at a time. Try to get someone to help so you can get out of the house once in awhile. It really helps. Nothing is harder than watching someone you love die. I wish you the best. May God bless you both.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear that your spouse is ill....I know its hard and at times you want to just throw in the towel...but think as if it was you who was sick would you rather go to a facility or have your loved ones taking care of you. My hubby has been diagnosed with diabetes and the doctor said that by age 50 he will have lost both his legs...he's already suffered a stroke...losing the weight wont matter cuz he's lost almost 80 lbs the doctor said he's inherited it from his mom who lost both her legs and had 5 strokes by age 50...I know its going to be hard since we have 8 kids but I know that there is nowhere else i would rather have him be but with me in my arms if he were to pass away...God bless and pray that God gives you the strength to carry on...

Answer 4

This will not be easy, and I admire your courage to do it.

You should have a long conversation with the doctors, so you are fully aware of your spouse's conditon and needs. And you should also get some Counselling on a regular basis. If it has not been offered to you already, ask for it.

Answer 5

Joy L is right...Hospice is the best thing for both of you. Not only do they give the care she needs...but they also give you the support and understanding YOU need.

Take care....of yourself as well as your wife...

Answer 6

Counselling might help . . definitely a good support system, friends, family, and make sure to do everyday at least one thing that makes you happy (that you personally love) . . Best best wishes to you and good luck

Answer 7

that is the most courageous of you... taking care of your spouse.while she is ill... you will be blessed all the more... just be with her as much as possible... your attention and presence is more than the medication she is taking... i salute you... may your tribe increase

Answer 8

Just do your best,it is enouth,be happy don't worry, everything just go its way ,cause it says easy but does very difficult ,i can anderstand u give my sorpport and good wish.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Caring for someone who is terminally illIt’s important to understand the financial, practical and emotional support available to you as a carer and the person you care for.

Financial support
Benefits for the person you care for
The person you care for may be entitled to:

Disability Living Allowance, if they are under 65 and need help with personal care and/or getting around
Attendance Allowance, if they are 65 or over and need help with personal care
Incapacity Benefit, if they are under 65 and unable to work because of illness or disability
There are special rules to help terminally ill people get Disability Living Allowance or Attendance Allowance quickly and easily.

Carer's Allowance
As a carer, you may be entitled to receive Carer’s Allowance. You can keep on getting this for up to 12 weeks if the person you care for goes into hospital and for up to four weeks if they go into a care home – provided certain conditions are met.

If the person you care for dies, Carer’s Allowance will usually stop after eight weeks.

Practical support
Support from social services
The social services department of your local authority may provide a range of social care services and equipment for terminally ill people.

Assessments from your local social services
An assessment with social services is the first step towards getting help and support for yourself and the person you care for. The person you care for is entitled to a health and social care assessment, while you as a carer are entitled to a carer’s assessment.

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Assessments for carers

Emotional support
Although friends and family can provide emotional support at this difficult time, you may find it easier to talk to a professional counsellor or to other carers in a similar position. The person you’re caring for and other family members may also benefit from counselling.

Finding a counsellor
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) is the professional body for counsellors. You can search for registered counsellors in your local area on their website.

Support groups for carers
There may be support groups for carers in your local area, which could give you the opportunity to talk to other people in the same situation as yourself.

Contact with other carers

Help with caring for someone at home
Medical and nursing care
If the person you care for needs specialist medical or nursing care to enable them to continue living at home, you can arrange this through their local doctor (GP). Services that may be available include:

visits from a district or community nurse (for example, to change dressings, give injections or help with bathing or toileting
help with getting the person into and out of bed
Services that are provided by the National Health Service (NHS) may vary from region to region, but will always be provided free of charge.

Short-term breaks
Both you and the person you care for may benefit if you can take a short-term break from caring from time to time. This is sometimes known as ‘respite care’. You can arrange short-term breaks through your local social services department. A local carers’ group may also be able to provide, for example, half a day’s care a few times a month.

Short-term breaks for carers
Organisations and charities for carers

Employing a professional carer
If you’re caring for someone who needs a lot of care, you may choose to employ a professional carer (or carers) to share the caring role with you.

Employing a professional carer)

Alternatives to caring for someone at home
Hospice care
Hospices are residential units that provide care specifically for people who are terminally ill, and offer support to those who care for them.

Hospices specialise in palliative care, which aims to make the end of a person’s life as comfortable as possible and to relieve their symptoms when a cure is no longer possible. Hospices are run by a team of doctors, nurses, social workers, counsellors and trained volunteers. Many hospices offer bereavement counselling.

Hospice staff can sometimes visit people at home and are often on call 24 hours a day. It is also possible for patients to receive daycare at the hospice without moving in, or to stay for a short period to give their carers a break.

There is no charge for hospice care, but the person you care for must be referred to a hospice through their GP, hospital doctor or district nurse.

Hospital care
There may be times when a terminally ill person needs to go into hospital. If the person you care for is coming home after a hospital stay, the NHS and your local authority should work together to meet their continuing health and social care needs. The person ‘s needs should be assessed before they leave hospital and a package of care arranged for them.

Support after leaving hospital

Care homes
If the person you care for needs a level of care and support that cannot be provided in their own home, a care home could be the answer. You can find detailed information about care homes in the ‘home and community’ section of Directgov.

Helping the person you care for prepare for death
It’s natural for someone who is terminally ill to want to sort out their affairs and make decisions about what kind of medical treatment they want (or don’t want) at the end of their life. The ‘rights and responsibilities’ section of Directgov contains useful information about wills, living wills and the right to refuse medical treatment and resuscitation.

Preparing for death

When the person you care for dies
What to do after a death
When someone dies, there are some things you will need to do straight away, or within the first few days and weeks. The ‘rights and responsibilities’ section of Directgov includes guidance on what to do after a death.

What to do after a death :

Bereavement counselling
When someone close to you dies, you may benefit from counselling from a specialist bereavement counsellor. The charity Cruse Bereavement Care can help with this.

Benefits and bereavement
If the person you care for dies, Carer’s Allowance will usually stop after eight weeks.

If your spouse or civil partner has died, you may be able to claim one or more of the following bereavement benefits:

bereavement payment – a single tax-free payment for people who are under state pension age when their spouse or civil partner dies
widowed parent’s allowance – for people who have dependent children
bereavement allowance – for those aged 45 and over when their spouse or civil partner dies

Bereavement benefits factsheets (general money, tax and benefits section)