How can i tell my husband he is not sexy anymore?

Question

I feel so bad because he is just no attractive anymore.. he always dyed his hair to get the gray out but now he will only dye it if i let him dye it blond.. i hate blond hair on a man and he does not care! He knows that i loved his eyebrow pierced and hated his nipple done... what does he do... takes the eyebrow out and leave the nipple ring in. and he always had a very nice go t but now he wants to have them stupid lines going down the sides or a full beard
He always dressed nice.. the clothes that i thought he looked best in.. now he dresses like a slob. he does not care! and as far as sex.. since we got married it does not seem to bother him that he is not pleasing me.. he goes right to sleep does not care! how the heck can i talk to him without him getting all mad and pissed off at me! every time i try i can't say the right words and he gets mad and starts yelling... i do everything to look good for him why can't he do that for me?????

he is only 33 and is acting like he is 60!
Bad part we only just passed our one year anniversary a couple weeks ago!

I always thought he was the sexiest man but now i find myself looking at other people saying man i wish he looked like that.. I feel so horrible for not thinking highly of him.

OK for you...Two...
unreasonable demands.. i am with my husband 5 years now and i did not marry him for his looks.. i did not say that i do not love him now! i just do not like what he is doing to himself! And i am not going to divorce him because he changed. when i said for better or worse i meant it.

Answer 1

Ahhh... I see the rose colored glasses you wore throughout your dating life has finally broken and you're seeing the world in true color. Well, you can definitely tell him how you really feel, but get ready to also be told how he really feels about you, which will probably not be fantastic either...

Answer 2

I think the fact that he is not pleasing you in bed is the REAL problem and the fact that he is not making the effort to look good for you is only compounding the problem. I would be more worried about getting the "bedroom problem" worked out first. If you were getting some satisfaction and some passion I don't think you'd care so much what color his hair was or if he had a goatee or what piercings he has. Maybe he left the nipple ring in because it arouses him. Even if you hate it, play with it . He may become so aroused that you may end up having some terrific sex. It seems like you're almost at the end of your rope, so there has got to be some communication between the two of you or this is going to end up badly. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

It's not fair of him to let himself go like that just because you are now married. You need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. It may cause a row and it will certainly hurt his feelings but better that than letting the situation continue as is and your marriage breaking up! If you have any hope of getting through this you need to spell it out for him that his new attitude towards you and his appearance has to change or you will be forced to do something that you don't want to do i.e. leave him for someone who will put an effort in. As you rightly state, you are making an effort for him every day and it's only right that he does at least as much for you. He should know the downsides of a divorce, both financial and emotional, and he should start making the effort to avoid that! But when you talk to him, be blunt. Spell it out for him because subtlety doesn't work with most men!! Good luck!

Answer 4

It sounds like to me that he is reacting to your unreasonable demands: "dye your grey, but only the color I like;" "dress the way I like;" "pierce only that which I like;" "have the facial hair that I like." Nag, nag, nag. Wow, were I he, I'd stop responding to you, too. I have news for you, honey, he is turned off by you - no less than you are now turned off by him. Apparently the only reason you felt you "loved" him was because of how he looked and dressed and there wasn't much else there. Time for both of you to either take a serious look at your relationship and the lack of depth there or cut each other free. If this is how you feel in your 30's, I would HATE to see what happens to your "feelings" when you both grow old and wrinkled.

And whatEVER you do, don't bring children into this shallow affair.

Answer 5

He might be depressed.

You didn't say anything about your role in this other than you look good for him. Are you sure you're not upset because he's not doing what you want him to do when you want him to do it? You may not like how he looks right now but it could be where he is and where he wants to be.

It seems as though you married him for his looks. Those are bound to change.

Whatever's going on is deeper than appearances. And I think there's a lot going on. You two need to talk.

Try counseling.

This isn't just about looks.

Answer 6

very sad story. Sorry there's not a person under the clothes and hair etc. Dump him honey and watch how quick someone else snatches him up. You may want to back off and enjoy coffee. Find a hobby and leave him alone. You may be becoming a nag.

Answer 7

Wow my husband did the same thing, took out his eyebrow ring put in his lebre ring(lip) and got a tatto on his neck!! He has stopped going to the gym and has gained a few (30) pounds. I just grin and bear it, when he smiles or looks at me that on certain way I see what I love, him, even though I just found out he is cheating I love him not the piercings!!

Answer 8

Here is the deal. Go to Adult Friend Finder and meet some men that cna meet you and give you sex while your husband is working. Millk your husband for as much money and stuff as you can. Let him feed you and take care of you and you can party all you want with as many guys as you want.
It sounds as if he does not care anyway. Have fun, score big !

Answer 9

men are direct ( and can be cruel with women if they don't find them attractive any more .....your going out of your way to be attractive for him...I would say sometimes the truth can hurt ...just tell him the way you feel .....don't rose coat it ......men don't so why should you have to pamper is feelling if he obviously does not seem to care anymore...he might just even wake up after that..by the way they say that once people become too comfy in a relationship they tend to relax with trying the way they use to before when their were single .

Answer 10

Just have a conversation with him minus the drama. But people change no one will be what we want them to be. He's not your property and remember your vows. FOR BETTER OR WORSE Seems your at your worst but try to either deal or have a heart to heart talk but only he will decide what he does with himself

Answer 11

Wow it sounds like you have some serious problems here.

You have to tell him straight out in my opinion, no bull****. If he doesn't care and doesn't do anything about it, then I'm afraid that shows that he doesn't care about what you think anymore. That means he doesn't care about you anymore full stop, or he takes you for granted and thinks that whatever he does you'll stick around.

Tell him, see what he says, and get back to us.