I was going out with this girl and we were getting in on quite seriously in the bedroom one night and her parents were out. She said 'let's do it' and I said 'no, let's wait a while. I don't want to rush things.' She went all withdrawn and broke up with me the next day. Any other time I would have said 'yea baby, lets get it on' but it would have been the quickest experience of her life that night....yes...I was about to blow, I wouldn't have lasted 5 seconds and instead of embarassing myself I turned her down. She was a babe. I am still really embarassed to this day! Please tell me if this was the right thing to do 'coz it still bugs me to this day! What would you have done?
2006-07-03 00:11:17 · 18 answers · asked by George 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
as I can see you from South Africa and aware about AIDS that is the best thing you could have done. I hope you have learn you lesson and carry a condom with you all the time in case such an opportunity comes up again and this time, due to past experience and embarrassment you will want to do it.
I congratulate you that you have behaved so maturely and believe me, some of us were it the same situation. So as a woman I can say that this girl got very very hot and just 'wanted it' and now she is also very embarrassed and hope you don't tell anyone.
There could be another possibility. That she already slept with boys and she seen that all of the were eating out of her hand, so now by you saying 'no thank you', she is totally mad at you as she feels rejected and angry thinking 'who the hell is he".
Whatever the reason, time will heal. If she likes you, the awkward situation will pass and you will see each other again. But don't rush to sex before you are ready. NOT IN SOUTH AFRICA..
The highest group age having AIDS is between 14 and 24... and it is every third person. If she already had unprotected sex, you are in-dangering yourself (and that is very high possibility).
So if you still want to see her, write her a letter (but not about that night) and say that you like her and would like to see her again. Ask her about if she want to go to movies.
If you not ready for sex, once again I say DONT DO IT, however who stops you to fool around a bit and satisfy her other ways??
Best of luck... and make more friends...
2006-07-07 23:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by Desert 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you wanted to be with this person and you wanted your relationship to include sex, I feel your mistake was not being honest with her. If you had said to her, "you have me so hot and bothered, I'm afraid I am going to be the only one to enjoy this experience." She could have understood and decided to take her chances or cool it down and continued in the relationship. Maybe she would have suggested some of the 'do it twice' solutions the other answers have suggested.
If you didn't want your relationship to include sex so early, then you shouldn't have put yourself in the bedroom, alone with her environment in the first place.
You can try to contact her and honestly explain what happened and if she is really interested in you, she may give you another chance. If she won't, then move on and vow to not make the same mistakes.
Honesty attracts the right person to you and repels those that are wrong for you!
2006-07-03 11:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that blew that girl pride or ego but then again I think you did the right things. You are not ready dude, and you may have regret it afterward if you had done it. Broke up with you just for that? she not worth to worry for. She should be greatful to you. She might glad it didn't happen too but embarass to tell you. If it is me in your shoes, I might do the same if i'm not ready and I'm not goona going nuts wondering about whether I should have done it or not. It's better than regret it later. So chill out dude.
2006-07-03 07:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by NikeT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be embarrassed at all. You showed yourself to be quite manly in this situation and you should be proud of yourself. She should be the one embarrassed to have dropped you for not having sex with her. That's a sign that you're better off without her and thank your lucky stars that nothing happened--if she's so loose that she's ticked that you didn't go all the way, then only God knows how many she's been with and what disease you may have gotten from her. Show your principles, dude, you did well.
2006-07-03 10:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by save_up_your_tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter the reason that you denied her, she should respect that. the fact that she broke up with you for what seems like the fact that you denied her means to me that she was merely in the relationship for sexual reasons. i don't know the story, so i don't really know why she broke up with you. i'm just speculating and thats what i think...because you denied her, she broke up with you. i think you had every right to say no. forget the reason. it comes down to the fact that you didn't want to do what she was asking, so you said how you felt. and she didn't like that. she should have been able to respect that, in all honesty. so no, don't be embarrased. you shouldn't be, she should be. and it was not the wrong thing to do. if she really cared for you, she wouldn't have gotten in such a huff over this. always trust your gut, no matter what else influences it. lol. i think you that you did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation. you shouldn't have to feel regret or guilt, because i see no reason. this was all her, not you. she showed no respect and for what you were asking, you deserved respect. and she shoved her "respect" right into your face because she was bitter. try to think of this so much. i think that what you did was fine.absolutely fine.
2006-07-07 04:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you did the right thing by sayuing no. Only a person with character is able to say no even in the most awkard circumstances. A girl who does not respect your right to your decisions is definetely not fit for you; better out sooner than later
2006-07-03 08:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by dark and beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl has the wrong attitude in this case. If you didn't explain the reason why the answer was "no". It should have appeared to her that you wanted to get to know her better before you went all the way. In this case the girl was taking sexual advantage over you. Only interested in one thing.
2006-07-03 07:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have made it a 2 round event. If things were that great, and if you're as young as you sound, getting a second "shot" shouldn't require too much effort. Besides it would have lasted longer during the second round!
2006-07-03 08:31:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sherlock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you have your own personal reasons for making a choice it's ALWAYS the right thing to do and you should NEVER be embarrassed about that!
2006-07-03 08:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, sometimes girls can enjoy a "quickie" too!!
Rejection is much more painful!
I reckon you should have done a quick one, then done it all over again, slower, making sure she enjoyed it.
I don't think you should have turned her down, I'm not surprised she dumped you - you should have explained, or just gone for it!
2006-07-03 07:28:33 · answer #10 · answered by Krissyinthesun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋