when is a marriage over?

Question

my husband is white i am black, i am his first black woman, and he just doesn't get that i am a bit different from his usual women. he doesn't other intimate things with me, but i do him.our initmate life is he cums and that's it, nothing for me. i once felt a strong connection, but i do not anymore.he just bangs and that's it. i feel like he is just sees me as a vessel and that's it because i am not what he really wants. he is bored of me.maybe we should end it?he loves me but he is no longer in love with me, and he longs for someone else, it feels that way, when he does me on occasion, he just zones out, and is thinking of another

Answer 1

You need to decide if your marriage is worth saving from your own point of view. Do you want to be with this man? If the answer is yes then you should speak to him. Maybe he does not realise how you feel. If you never tell him that you are not satisfied or happy he will continue with what he is doing. If after speaking to him you cannot see an improvement you could try counselling. Try showing him what you like and talking him through it. A lot of men love it when their partners tell them what they want and show enthusiasm. You won't know if he no longer loves you if you do not communicate. I would not have thought there was an issue with your difference races because he met, fell in love and married you in the first place, its just likely that things have become a little stale and need spicing up.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

White, Black, Hispanic, or Haitian, why would anybody want to be with anyone that wants to be with someone else? You appear miserable but perhaps you need a larger dose. Obviously he has not pushed you to the point of leaving him but instead he has pushed you in the opposite direction. Acceptance. Oh, you can bi*tch about it all you want, but that doesn't mean you aren't accepting it. So you have to ask yourself, why am I so desperately trying to hold on to just one more day of misery? What makes him so worthy? People will only treat you the way you allow them to. If you aren't in the least interested in yourself, that's okay, but nobody else will be either. If you are, than start acting like it, before you don't have any dignity left to remember that you have wants and needs as well.

I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace.

Answer 4

This sounds very sad for you. You must feel hurt and used. I don't think that this has anything to do with you being black and his being white. No one has any excuse to behave in this way toward you. It's abusive and unacceptable.

If you don't like the way he makes love, you need to make that clear to him and ask him if there's something wrong. Make sure that he does know what you want. The only way to share such intimate information is to first rebuild the destroyed trust between you. Lots of going out together, talking and being friends. If you want to suggest abstaining from sex to your husband for a week so that you can learn how to be intimate together in other ways.

This isn't the end of your marriage unless you want it to be.

Answer 5

I am white and married to a black man...hun it is nothing to do with colour or culture...for some reason you are not connected in your marriage...a spark has gone...I think you can never say your marriahe is over based on the physical alone...usually the state of the physical aspect is as a direct result of the rest of your relationship....so I would urge you to concentrate on working on the other things first and allow yourselves to fall in love all over again....don't throw your marriage away...communicate this with him, and I'm sure you will both be able to agree a point from where to start again...remember he is your groom and you are the bride of his youth...look at what attracted you initially and work on those things...I wish you every happiness!

Answer 6

I am a man that was very happily marraid with a great sex life we talked all the time about everything. We have two great kids. I was told on the 16 September to leave my house. now my wife wont even talk to me. I am still in love with her so much my heart hurt not being with her

Answer 7

i think you laready know the answer to this but you are hoping someone will tell you. Have you spoken to him about this? maybe he thinks everything is just fine. Men dont tend to pick up on the more tender feelings of women unless told. If you are feeling this way then do something about it dont be a doormat.

Answer 8

It's up to you to make the next move - you may be right or wrong as to your hunches as to whether he is playing away. Have it out with him.
Most relationships go through a stale phase so you're not on your own. It may not be over so give yourself some TLC if he won't!

Answer 9

only you can really decide if this is over; if you feel that bad about things you have to try talking about it with him. You have to decide if you still love him, it sounds like maybe you don't. Love isn't all about sex, is the rest of your relationship good? do you spend time together and enjoy each other's company?

If you can't talk to him, suggest marriage guidance counselling, and if he won't agree to that, you have no choice but to leave. You only have one life and you can't spend it with a man you're unhappy with.

Answer 10

Dont end it!!! Tell him how you feel he might feel your like that with him. Tell him you miss the phyisical side of your relationship and you would like to feel the strong connection you used to feel. If he doesnt listen to you properly tell him again but if he still does nothing to make you feel better your with the wrong man! He doesnt repect your feelings and thats important for a relationship! Sorry!!