if my husband watches porn while he thinks I'm asleep, does that mean he thinks I'm not as sexy as those women

Question

Sometimes my husband watches porn on the computer while he thinks i'm asleep on the couch, but i'm not. some times he " wakes me up to make love, and some times he just goes to the bedroom to finish alone, but we have great sex life. This turns me on and hurts my feelings at the same time, what should i do about it?

Answer 1

I'm not going to quote about what you wrote for the rest of your story, but as a man, i will answer your question.

Reason he watches porn could be 2:

-Yes, you are not as attractive as those in the adult movie.

-You are attractive, but he wants some variety, but doesn't want to cheat you by doing it with other women. Best solution, to watch porn.

So in the end, would you rather he watches porn and doing it with you, or you rather he don't watch porn but going out and sleep with other women?

Answer 2

If anything hurts your feelings, it's not right. Don't get caught up with thinking that you have to take the good with the bad, i.e, that just because it turns you on it's ok that it also hurts your feelings. You need to have a talk with him. If he needs to look at porn while he is with you, there is a problem there. When I had one of my girlfriends, I did the same thing: I looked at porn, sometimes while she was asleep in the same room--porn pictures on the Internet, not videos, though. But I did that only with that one girlfriend. There was something missing in our sex life, I think. I never did it while I had any other girlfriends because I was completely happy with them, so I knew it was because there was something lacking in our relationship. I'm not saying this is the case in your relationship; I would start by having a talk with him if I were you. Ask him why he feels he has to look at other women to turn him on. And it rilly worries me that you say that "sometimes he just goes to the bedroom to finish alone." That doesn't sound good, any way you look at it.

Now, in retrospect, I feel bad that I did it. She caught me a couple of times and she was obviously sad that I had to look at other women on the Internet. She didn't make a big deal out of it, but I still felt very, very bad. I felt so guilty. So I started reducing the amount of time I looked at porn until I no longer did it anymore--but I never quite forgave myself. I never forgot that look of disappointment she had on her face when she caught me. I felt so low.

Answer 3

Just ask him about it. Tell him that you've noticed him doing this and it has you confused and kind of hurt. Don't nag him about watching the porn, or accuse him of anything, he'll only get defensive and rude. Just casually bring it up. Communication is always the answer. In the long run, you'll feel better by asking.

Answer 4

Hey as long as he's keeping u satisfied and not cheating on u don't complain...i don't think there's nothing wrong with it.Everyone has there fantasy's right,but men are visual creatures and thats why they luv porn...it excites them and lets them try new things !Nothing wrong with that,don't be jealous over a porno!U sound like your hurt when he doesn't wake u up and goes and finishes alone...but if he thinks your asleep maybe he's being considerate...

Answer 5

It's a win , win it looks like to me. If he's in bed watching porn and your by his side what could be better. You did the right thing but you better be ready he's gonna be after you. Keep up the good work the sex will only get better.

Answer 6

This means that next time he's watching porn don't wait for him to wake you up,suprise him by wearing some sexy langerie while your spread out on your bed.

Answer 7

Go buy some costumes and role play, get into some S&M, so when you have him in a restricted position that's when you break out 'Big Bob' on his *** and let him know how his leaving you out all those times made you feel! Then you take 'Big Bob' and touch your husband in his... well I'll leave that to you two. -spice it up!

Answer 8

Maybe he needs it to fuel his imagination for other ways of doing it. You shouln't be hurt or bothered by that coz of the fact that you DO have a good sex life. It is a way to relieve stress and relax but i don't think the same is true for us women.
The thing is, he doesn't want to do it with the women he is looking at, he just wants to have sex to relax and ease the anxiety that he might be feeling. He wants to relive and recall how good it is to do it. And yes I agree that it would be nice if you watch it with him... If you dont want your husband to continue keeping secrets from you .

Answer 9

It is only porn, it is about getting extra stimulation and fast-release of sexual energy. Fast is not better, just faster. It has nothing to do with any of those women in the movies. Don't you ever get turned on my watching guys? Does that mean you would rather be with them than with him at that moment? Not at all, right?

Answer 10

If this bothers you, you have two ways to go about it. First, talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. Then, listen to what he has to say.

Second, remember the saying "If you can't win them, join them." So, why not join him while he watches. I'm sure both of you will enjoy the aftermath. Haha!