I am a christian. I have been going out with this girl for 5 years. it's been an on and off relationship. She is my first girlfriend. I am her sixth b'f. I am a virgin and she isn't. I only found out that in our 2nd year when we decided to be friends. And somehow I ended up back with her. We have a lot of problems - insecurities, secrecies, jealousies etc. But I'm a forgiving guy so I still went along with the whole relationship. Plus I love her and she is my first girlfriend. It was just about a year ago, I found out her first experience was at the age of fourteen and she was a christian then too. Plus, every time she did it, it was for clueless reasons. I am now wondering if I should spend the rest of my life with her or should I just move on, because she said she wants to forget her past and I am always concious of it. Somebody please help?
2006-07-02 20:38:10 · 17 answers · asked by Dark Knight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ask your Pastor
2006-07-02 20:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by :Phil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things aren't working out leave, there are to many girls in the world to sit there and worry about one who is making your life hard! I'm sure there are some other good christian girls out there who would love to find a "nice christian boy" like you.
Man you need to have sex with her and get it over with, once you have that out the way a lot of things will change. Your first girl friend is someone you will always remember, but she SHOULD NOT be your only or last!
Being forgiving is good with friends, but not with someone who cheats or sleeps around. If she did it once she will do it again.
2006-07-03 03:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same quarrel as your gf...
Believe me, there is the possibility that she REALLY loves you but is quite mixed up... There is only one way - JESUS - for the both of you!
Doesn't matter if she isn't a virgin anymore - she needs to know why not to sleep with you and you need to learn how to forgive. Not only that, but deal with it - with her and the issues!
Furthemore... If you break-up, she will always be your first true love - no matter what happens. It will hurt and you will think the world is going to end but you'll survive! I found some answers at a christian site as well - I really can't remember exactly what it is called but I think it's something like www.christian-answers.net
God bless!
2006-07-03 03:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by Chellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your standards, you won't regret it!
That doesn't mean you should stay with your girlfriend though. Insecurity, jealousy and secrecy is no foundation for a relationship, I'm sure you love each other very much, but you need to resolve these issues. If you cannot resolve them then maybe it is just the right time to move on for both of you. You need to talk, be honest with hwe, honest but kind.
Good Luck
2006-07-03 03:43:18 · answer #4 · answered by merrymatriarch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a choice.
Either forget about her past (because it is really none of your business) or move on. The relationship will be very rough if you are constantly thinking about her past. TRUST ME! My husband use to constantly bring my past up to me and it drove me nuts. (He wasn't a virgin when we got married either.) The past should be left in the past.
And my thinking as a Christian...when God forgave me of my sins, He FORGOT about them. So if I were to ask him to forgive me now of something I did years ago, do you know what He is going to say to me? He will tell me that He has no idea what I'm talking about. Why? Because He is capable of forgiving and FORGETTING!
Anyway, I can't answer your question because I don't know what standard you are wanting to keep. If you are wanting to marry a virgin then you will obviously have to move on. If you are wanting to be with someone who doesn't make mistakes, you will be very lonely...
One last thing, You should stay a virgin until you get married. Believe it or not, women do respect that.
2006-07-09 07:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a christian too. Though, I am married. Like you, I chose to wait untill I met someone who would really love me and want to stand by me and spend the rest of his life with me. I had 2 long term friendships (of 3 and 5 years, when we met daily to go to University, to spend time with friends, go dancing, visit art exhibitions, etc). Each time I thought this was going to be it and I would be so happy with such a nice guy, kind, educated, etc..
However, it wasn't going to be like that. It took me a while (probably being a christian makes one less exposed to the negative side of people or makes one inclined to be a little naive or gullible - I know I was). Each time I found that the guys weren(t really how I thought them and we split up. I have to tell you that I didn't split up with them for their sleeping with another girl (if that happened I had no knowledge of it). But it turned out that in spite of knowing their family and visiting their home frequently, I didn't know much about people in general.
My advice (and the advice I got myself from a good friend) is to find someone to match you - someone who doesn't have sexual experience, who values kindness, openness, honesty, tolerance, christian values and last but not least, someone that you would be superior to intellectually (I know it sounds bad but I find that people who are less smart are more honest and altruistic than the quick witted, bright/experienced ones).
Hope this helps. God bless you!
2006-07-03 04:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by artisan222006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wanna stay a virgin until you are married, that is your choice, but don't expect everyone else to live by your outdated "standards"... So the girl wanted to experience life and sex, respect that... If you truly love her, then let her milk life for all it has to offer...
Maybe you should do the same... And if there are insecurities in the relationship, then maybe you SHOULD break up, you obviously don't respect the girl at all...
2006-07-03 03:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time i did, I was at a single digit age, So? you can't judge a person for her past. it's the present you work on. For a Christian you must have forgotten a lot. Paul, Solomon, the great David, even Peter screwed up, but we don't blame them for their screwups, instead we look at the things they did after.
You may want to start by brushing up on your christianity.
2006-07-03 03:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by DaNewGuy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a christian she should know better. she should have talked to someone before she had sex. I know that no one is perfect, including myself but after the first time she should not have put herself in those type of situations. I say pray about it to see what the Lord tells you then decide.
2006-07-03 03:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That annoying itch will only get worse....if it bothers you now...it always will....
2ndly she is not a christian like yourself and 2 must be equally yoked...
so you could be wasting alot of time.....
I'd say keep your virginity for someone you plan to marry and keep her as a friend
2006-07-03 03:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that you are both trying to get the other to change too much....before i met my husband i dated a long-time friend...the thing was that he was very "christian" (no offense) his father is a minister.. well first off he didn't tell jis dad we were dating.. cause he knew his dsd woudn't approve. i ws the one that well i'm a nympho... but we were just too different.. i say atay being yourself... and keep your standards... and plus me and him are still really great friends.. i evan hooked him up with his fiance.
2006-07-03 03:46:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋