I have found my true love, but I live in Maine, and he lives in Penn. Both of us are going through a divorce. We want to be together but my mom is having a tough time excepting my choice. I love him, and want to be with him full time. But my mom is really giving me a tough time about all of this.
2006-07-02 19:38:12 · 12 answers · asked by thoughtsoflove_2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly? I think it's going to be really messy if you try to move in with him while you're both going through divorces. Wait until they're final, then you'll both be calm and collected enough to set up a strong foundation for a living-together relationship. When it comes down to it though? Do what you need to do. If he's what you need, be with him. If you can wait awhile, I'd suggest it. In any right, good luck to you and I hope your divorce turns out nicely for you.
2006-07-02 19:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by opera_floozy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please take a step back and realize that you are being ridiculous and about to make a mistake with men -- again. Your mother seems to have good sense and is giving you good advice.
You should admit that based on this last failed marriage you are not the smartest at picking men / working on relationships. You need to spend some time now to learn more about why you picked the wrong guy to begin with and why you are ready to just jump into another relationship.
Love is something you express to someone after you truly have gotten to know them -- after living in the same area as them for a few years, having them meet your family, you meet his and after going through some hard times with them. You need to experience these things with somone from the neutral place of your own home -- you do not get any of this when you jump into a situation where you are living with them first and then really getting to know them.
I know that you know deep down that this is the weak / wrong thing for you to do. I also know that your troubles seem to go away when this man tells you things you want to hear and promises to make things better. And you also know deep down that only you can make things better in your lofe, so please be strong, do what you know is right, stay home with your mom and have the strength to finally work on your issues alone.
Only then will you finally find true love and respect love enough to give it the time necessary to ripen and strengthen under decent / sane conditions.
Best of luck to you - do the right thing, not the easy thing b/c it only makes you an easy woman.
2006-07-02 19:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Finnale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all is sad very sad that you are divorsing, weather for good or bad reasons as you should of looked into your commitment alot more closer and from what it seem now you are about to make the same mistake again. Look into your relationship much more closer than you are and dont make the same mistake again.. good luck.. IN addition get facts straight for those of you who are saying that living together before marriage end up in divorse after marrige. NOT TRUE IT IS PROVEN THAT COUPLES WHO LIVE TOGETHER FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS BEFORE GETTING MARRYED TO EACH OTHER HAVE AN 80% CHANCE OF LASTING LONGER THAN 15 YEARS MARRIED, STUDIES ON GOING.
2006-07-02 19:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by wiseornotyoudecide 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother knows what she's talking about. It's never wise to jump into a relation so soon after leaving another one. Take time for yourself, get to know yourself all over again and do the things you want. If this guy is the right one for you, he will not want to jeopardize anything but take it slow and easy and get to know the real you before making any commitments that he may not be able to keep.
2006-07-02 21:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should give it a little time. at least wait until your divorce
is final.
and if you still feel the same after some time and long thought,
then go for it. but make sure your new love does the same.
2006-07-02 19:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by sexy brown eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the divorce rate for couples who live together before marriage is insanely high. i just heard it the other day on the radio. its like 80% or something. think and learn from your mistakes.
2006-07-02 19:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, listen to your mom's reasons for not accepting your choice. And be honest with yourself if you find some truth in your mom's reasons.
Then, if you still feel want to be with the new person, and he wants to be with you, and you are not hurting anyone (ie. cheating, lying,etc) by moving in together, then by all means, do it!
2006-07-02 19:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by miche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id wait it out at least a couple months.. its too drastic and too fast. both of u are having a hard time, dont ruin things wiht him by rushing into things
2006-07-02 19:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NOT do it.....don't rush it .....if its like you said LOVE then it will happen eventually....you don't want ANOTHER divorce...
And maybe its NOT love .......maybe your on a rebound
2006-07-02 19:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by Yvett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet that's what you said when you first got married too. "I found my true love" BullSh*t
2006-07-02 20:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by DaNewGuy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋