~*~How Did You Personally Come Out~*~?

Question

Heyas,
I was just wondering how some of you came out of the closet to your parents? maybe if i hear some of your stories, maybe it'll help me in comeing out to my parents since i havent because im scared to death...
thanks for your help

~*~Catie~*~

Answer 1

OMG this is a big thing for you. Personally I did it in a letter to my parents. I have always been taught that what I cannot say I should write down. That was you can get it off your chest and not forget anything.

I gave my parents a letter. In it I stated that this was something that I had struggled with for a long time. I said that it has nothing to do with them or how they raised me. I assured them I wasn't doing it to hurt them.

I then went onto telling them about the girl I had started dating. I just said about her and how we met and that I felt she was right for me (luckily we have been together 3 years).

I told them that I still love them and always will. I said that I understood how they may feel and that any time needed was fine - I was able to move out if they wanted me to.

Mostly it's just important to say that you love them - it's nothing they did - it's who you are and then maybe just a description about how you have comes to terms with who you are.

Answer 2

I always tell other people to think very carefully about what the WORST case scenario might be, and what resources you would have available to you should that happen. If you'd be ok, then go for it.

FOr me, I have an older brother that did that whole thing first; I only waited as long as I did because he was like "the problem child", so that was kind of not the worst thing my parents had to deal with from him. So, I gave myself a deadline (othewise I'd put it off and put it off, moreso than I already had). And about a half hour before a friend was supposed to call to pick me up and take me back to school, I sat 'em down and just said, "I know you've asked me questions, and I've kind of lied to you. I am gay, but that has nothing to do with why I wanted to wear a kilt to prom". My mom had been asking these types of questions for like...a year or two, and it always really pissed me off cause they'd be all stereotyped and all. She said she was trying to give me an opportunity to talk to them, but...yeah. My mom was just like...quiet and probably inwardly happy she was right all along; my dad said something about "sounds like you've made some decisions", which I corrected him on. We talked for maybe 5 minutes, and my friend called and I left.
I think i would recommend having an escape route like that, upon considering it. IN any event, good luck.

Answer 3

Ok here is my coming out story. I was scared to death too. But I found that it was really easy to do. I was dating a guy in a different city than i was living in. I was 22 at the time still in college and i was about to transfer to the school in that town. Well i needed to get the courage to tell my family. Well I was going to move in with this boy soon so I had to tell them. I got the B@lls up enough to tell my mom. I called her and said what are you doing. She said I am getting ready to go to bed soon. I told here I will be home in about 1 hour dont go to be I have to tell you something. Mind you I did not want to see my mom cry that would be the end of me. anyway my parents lived hour and half away i made it in an hour. I sat down we watch the news and david letterman and she said what do you have to tell me. I said you know i am going to indy to see Doug and Kay( dougs roommate) she said yes. Well I am dating one of them. She goes so how is kay doing. I said good. But I am not dating her. That was it I really never told my my that i was gay but she got it. She knew but i just had to let her know. Then I knew it was all good when i was driving back before i left she told me. and i quote " Drive straight home, oh but wait you can go straight anymore(laughter from the both of us)" My mom and i have a better bond than ever. I think that you should tell the parent that you are the most comfortable with and take it from there.

Answer 4

I just read another question from you where you put your age in. I would seriously consider waiting until you are older. If you do feel that it is really necessary to do it now, talk with a guidance counselor at school or find a Lesbian and Gay Teen organization and talk with them. These people will help you talk with your parents. I am leaving the rest of my aswer the way I originally answered because it may help.


You did not mention your age in your question or if you live with your parents. If you live with them, you need to think about how they will react. If you think they will react poorly, you need to wait until you can move out and support yourself. If you already live on your own, you need to prepare yourself for the worse thing that can happen. Some parents take it well, some dont. It is a possibility that they already know and are waiting for you to tell them.

I wrote my mother a letter. She did not take it well at all. She did not speak to me at all for months. After that she only spoke to me to degrade me. Now, a year and a half later, she is finally civil to me.

In the letter I told her that I was in love with this wonderful woman. We had grown closer and closer from a friendship. I told her that she had done nothing wrong in raising me and I still loved her. I also told her that I hoped she would still accept me and love me just the same, but if she didn't I was prepared to deal with it. I didnt have to worry about telling my dad. She told him for me. He never let it phase him. He still treated me the same as before.

How you do it up to you. If you can are better at talking, do it face to face. I am more able to put things in writing than speaking face to face. Also, my mother doesnt always listen when someone is talking. If I put things in letters, she will read them and she cant interrupt.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

Answer 5

I was doing a private show in Vegas where me and another girl go at eachother in front of about 10 people and one of my old teachers from High school saw me!! It was embarrassing, but kind of hot! We ended up in a suite at the Rio with 2 other girls from the club and we did him real good all night long.
When I got back to Spokane 2 weeks later all my friends knew that I was Bi. He told a few people that told a few people and so on. He kept his mouth shut about the Night in the hotel thank you very much, but he told some of my friends that I was bi.

Most of them were ok with it, I only lost one friend, a realy church goer that couldn't handle it. I know she is right about me being wrong, but it's soooo much fun. I even got with a couple of my frineds and their boyfriends together because the girls were courious about being with another girl.

Both my parents died when I was young and I don't have any other family so I guess I had it pretty easy.

Answer 6

Well, I first told them I was bi, but I was also trying to convince myself of that, then I divorced my husband and told them I was a lesbian. I told them over the phone both times because I lived on the other side of the country. But if I had still been living near them I think I would have taken them out to dinner to tell them, in the hopes that they would behave in a restaurant and calm down enough after dinner to talk with you rationally and open mindedly.

Answer 7

In the process... I had some issues when i came out to my friends and talked to my mother about he problems i was having. It came out more that i was bi but i did get around to mentioning the guy i had started dating. Im 99% she has told my dad who i am terrified to actually to to about this. But im still dating this guy so im pretty sure my mother has caught on that im gay, just dont know how much my father knows. Your parents will love you no matter what, even if they dont approve. Good luck!

Answer 8

Well, for me, my Mom walked in on me while I was eating a girlfriend out. I was 14 so she kind of always knew. I really let my bisexuality known to everyone when I was 17. Most people were cool about it. I did loose some friends.

Answer 9

If you are at an age where your parents let you make choices, remind them of that and tell them that you have made a choice and ask that they respect that of you. I think they should respect that because parents should let their kids make choices and when one discovers their own desires, that one should be respected. Id hope your parents respect you for your choice of what you want to do in your life. It's ok if they don't like your choice but they shouldn't down grade you for it cause then all that would do is probably make you feel that you are in the wrong. Ya know? I surely hope my daughter doesn't go bi but I as hard as it will be for me to have live with the fact that she would chose to be bi, then, that's her choice and I will always love her. It may not be my choice and Id tell her that but I would assure her that it's her choice......sorry....anyway, my advise would be, get your parents to sit down with you, get assurance of their love they have for you (if you think they will NOT love you as much after you tell them) Tell them You have made a choice and you want to discover more about it in your life and you need them to be there to support you!.....man, I think I could say lots more but I let you get reading other ppl's advise K.
Well, good luck!

Answer 10

I just went about my business. If I was seeing someone seriously, I would invite them to family functions. Everybody figured it out for themselves. I just didn't feel like I needed (or wanted) to make a big speech and be put in the position of defending something when my brothers and sisters didn't have to do that about their relationships. Just another day.