Spotless house or Lived in Home?

Question

Some of our adult couple friends and family have houses that look as if nobody lives in them. If anything gets moved out of place, they move it back ASAP. They have little interesting in their homes, and none of the kids want to visit them. Others are so cluttered & messy, but the kids seem to LOVE these places. Our own home is somewher in between, depending on the time of year. When I get critized by all the Ms. Spotless, I try to explain. Should I need to explain?
Should they accept what they get, or do I need to clean more than we normally do?

Answer 1

Ok, I guess I will be the only one to answer on behalf of all the Ms.& Mr. spotless out there. I like my house spotless and so does my husband. We are comfortable that way. When people come into our home, we would like them to treat our home as we would. I have had others come over with their kids and let their kids run all over the house and I'm sorry but that is not allowed in our home and sometimes we have to intervene. I think other people should have respect for my space when they are in it. But that works both ways. I never have the right to go to someone else's home and comment to them on how they live or how they are comfortable. I must respect their living space just like I would want. I don't think you owe anybody an explanation for anything about yourself. If you and your family are happy then that is all that matters. And if they come over just to make rude comments tell them not to let the door hit them in the a**! It all comes down to it's your home and it's not anyones business to tell you how to live in it, whatever side of the spotless scale your on. The only standards that matter are your own.

Answer 2

I believe people should visit people's homes to enjoy the friendship of the folks who live there, not judge their homes. Children don't stay children for long and one will have tons of time later when the kids are grown to "clean house." If people talk about your home when they leave to other peers, you need to question their reason for visiting. If you wanted a "clean home cop," you would have give them a checklist at the door!!! There always has to be one of those and you know, they don't often get invited back to the "happy homes." Homes that are bare show nothing about the occupants' hobbies nor heritage, thus they don't have a life other than to be "clean." I believe if a person cleans the dirt but doesn't fuss with clutter, that's about all we can manage if we have children. Kids do love places that look inviting and I've known kids before who came from "Mrs. Clean's" home and you know, those were the kids who were in the most trouble. If we don't play with our kids, somebody will whom you probably won't approve of.

Answer 3

My close friend is a sahm with one child and a dh that is away all the time. Her home is SPOTLESS, I mean perfect. I'm a sahm that homeschools two boys. Our home is LIVED IN. When I first started staying home I felt that if my home wasn't spotless, I was a horrible housewife. (Someone married to their house should keep a clean home, right?) I really got uptight about it. Now I am so busy teaching my kids and making a close knit family, I don't worry about dust or messes as much. If you are happy, and your family feels comfortable in your home, that is the key. My friend's daughter is as retentive about a show home as her mom, and I feel sorry for both of them. I prefer my home, where we don't worry about a little dust or taking our shoes off. Perhaps your friends don't have kids? People with no kids often don't understand (not REALLY understand) how kids change your life. It's hard to have kids, a perfect home, and be able to say that the kids are happy and well adjusted, living in a museum. My kids don't worry toooooo much about little messes, and kids shouldnt worry all the time.

Answer 4

I have this same dilemma!! If you don't feel the need to aspire to excellence, then leave the house messy. If you want it lived in, have a regular cleaning schedule and don't deviate much from it (except of course when the children need personal attention that they have not received yet). Then you can have the best of both worlds.

Do what you believe is right for you and your family. They don't live there.

One woman came to my house that had a particularly unkempt house. (Mind you I didn't say anything about it). She pulled back the curtains of my shower while using my bathroom. Upon exiting the bathroom she states, "tti, I would have never thought you would have left a shower like that". I replied I never thought you would be "inspecting" my house for how clean it should be.

Answer 5

The next time Ms Spotless visit and inquire about the house not being spotless go to the broom closet and get your broom out throw her a pillow produce the broom and say I finally found my broom it was stuck up your A*S now grab the pillow hit the floor and let's talk about the latest news an gossip about the neighbors.

I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.

"FIGHT ON"

Answer 6

You dont need to explain to anyone you only need to be happy yourself
Somewhere in between spotless unlived in and messy comfort is perfectable acceptable for a house with children, pets and love
Having lived in both I moved into level 2 and havent looked back
If it stresses you to have spotless visit dont...meet her for coffee at a cafe.
Be yourself, be happy life is toooooooooooo short to worry about the small stuff.

Answer 7

Your friends and family should come to see YOU not the house. Ms. Spotless types are just anal-retentive and there's no use explaining anything to them because nothing will ever satisfy their expectations. If they don't like the way your house is kept, fine. They don't have to live there!!!! It's YOUR domain!!!!

Answer 8

Lived- in or spotless, it's all a matter of comfort level for the
residents.
Either way, your house should be clean.
A good gage is this: If you can't straighten up for a special
visitor in 30 minutes or less, maybe it's time to renegotiate the
ground rules with your housemates.

Answer 9

For me, there would be no explanation necessary because I am exactly the same way! Therefore, I would be comfortable in your home. Sometimes, I give my quality time to my family instead of my housework and I can do all of the organizing and cleaning I want at work! LOL!! Keeps us all happy!

Answer 10

Some people, especially the anal retentive ones who keep their houses looking like museums, feel compelled to criticize us less neat but more loving folks. That's their problem.

I advise them to think about their funeral eulogies and future obituaries. When they die, no one will talk about how well they kept their house. But the love they shared with the world will be a lasting legacy.