Okay, I love my niece, but she is early 20s and so is her husband. They don't think. For example, they have friends, who come by just to grab a soda, or have a snack, or grab a smoke, and they all are living at home or homesless.
Despite it all, they let them help themselves to their frig. Their friends are gone when the food runs out, then they tell everyone we have no food and no money. They have a 9 month old daughter, and another on the way. Despite it all, they have lied about everything, but now my niece is trying to change. I can tell she is making an attempt, but her husband works, and then comes home and plops down to a video game. He plays little with his daughter, except to throw her high in the air, and then catch her. I am surprised the kid has not had a heart attack.
But regardless my sister passed away and I want her child to do what is right. So what should I do to help her best? Step back and make her stand on her own? Tell her to lose the deadbeat friends?
2006-07-02 17:41:48 · 11 answers · asked by T_C_FLY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is a topic that hits home. My son is 20 and his friends come over here and do the same thing. I have told him a million times that they are not his friends. Not only that, they have no respect for any of us. But it's like banging my head against a wall. It's not sinking in. I told him today they can't come back. Let them go to their houses and try it. They all smoke(he doesn't)and they just flip their cigarettes when they are done. I feel like picking up all their trash and distributing it at their parent's houses. It stops today. Good luck with this. Wish I could be of more help but I can't even help my own kid.
2006-07-02 17:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by goldielocks123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-07-03 00:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by DaGrimReaper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great your there for your sisters child but seems your over stepping into their home .Her husband & her will get a handle of this .You say he's working but comes home to play video games ? And how does this concern you ? He doesn't play enough with his child or how you would like him too .He's not your husband and you didn't have a baby with him .She's losted a mom , why a husband too ! You can step back and be a great Aunt to the whole family or lose your visits and friendship with them .They want to have their friends , did you buy the food ? If so stop ! She seems to be doing better than many , she has a husband , freinds , child and one on the way .An Aunt they will fight about soon if not already .Don't tare into your niece life anymore .Then maybe you'll see she's happy . I beleive your trying to help your sister (as a step mom ) for her daughter .Love her and be able to answer the phone when she calls if your not going to complain ! Us older people made our mistakes but it's wrong to be into young marriages this much .I read someone said buy a lock for her , she would be best to lock you out until you & the friends learn respect for her husband & her & their children home !
2006-07-03 00:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by Fairy Tale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, don't tell her to lose her deadbeat friends, cause she most likely doesn't think (and won't see where you're coming from) the same or she woudln't be friends with them. I think you are a wonderful person for wanted to help your niece but you should be careful not to make her think you are trying to mean, ya know? There are ways you can make your opinions heard, but at the same time, not make her mad at you. You could try by bringing up the fact that "so-and-so" came over and "ate all the - whatever" or "Finished the rest of the "whatever" and then say, "doesn't that bother you that they do that?' See what she says and then take the convo from there. Good luck!
2006-07-03 00:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People cannot take advantage of you unless you allow them to do it...and if you do, you are enableing the situation. You think they won't make it on their own. You want to do them a favor??? Step back and let them learn on their own what life is all about. You're not helping them one bit; just making them dependent and "sponging" off of you. Help them find housing (maybe public), get the neice in a WIC program, and put their collective asses out!!! As for the "friends"....hey, put a lock on the frig.
2006-07-03 01:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be proud that she was taught by your sister to share what she has. But, at the same time, she hasn't learned to say "Enough!" Speak to her as an adult. It's quite easy to treat her as a niece and not the woman she has become. You'll be walking on thin ice if she thinks you're attacking her husband. It will be tough for you, but her daughter deserves it.
2006-07-03 01:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by Cheerleader Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They both need to grow up and start acting like adults. Sounds like your niece is starting to realize that. It's ok to help guide her into the right directions. Be supportive especially when she does positive things. She's fortunate to have you for an aunt.
2006-07-03 00:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advise her to get rid of the friends, or perhaps get a lock. Give her a helping hand; buy the lock. Keep out that hand in case she falls, but keep your nose out of it for the most part.
As for tossing the child up: Don't worry about it. One of my best memories was the excitement of being tossed up. It was really fun, and I felt safe because my dad was doing it.
2006-07-03 00:47:40 · answer #8 · answered by Kage D, 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be a door mat unless you lay there and take it. It's your house, reclaim it. Give them both a deadline to get out, and make it stick...They won't grow up ever, if you continue to be the "parent". What ARE you thinking? That you are helping them???
2006-07-03 00:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to lose the deadbeat friends.
2006-07-03 00:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.Foster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋