When should one consider divorce?

Question

My husband is unhappy with our marriage, I can tell cause everything seems to be wrong. I can't even say something like the weather is hot..
I have a child, and a joint owner of our home. I don't want the house, all I want is my baby, but I am afraid that she will blame me for a divorce when she is big enough to understand as he doesn't want joint custody and is willing to give her up.
I cannot communicate with him.. without an arguament, we have tried taking holidays together but the more time we spend together, the more disastrous it is. Please advise

Answer 1

If one of the people involved won't cooperate it gets real hard. You can go to marriage counseling alone if he won't go with you.

Basically, you need to sit down and ask yourself; Am I better off with him or am I better off without him? Be completely honest with yourself. Look at all the points in favor and against.

Don't stay in a bad situation for the child. The child knows something is wrong. You won't be doing him/her any favors by staying in a bad relationship.

Answer 2

It's very sad when your marriage falls apart... even more so when only one of you is committed to keeping it (the marriage) alive, it's harder to find reasons to stay.
I think the best would be to stay, no matter how hard for the sake of your child's future, unless you've a backup plan i.e. you've a sufficient steady income to support yourself & child, family support... I don't see why divorce should not be an option but it's certainly NOT the only option.
First off, may I suggest marriage counselling? It's a little shady as to why your husband is feeling this way? Are there solid reasons for his actions?
He seems as if he's made up his mind by sulking & avoiding any form of communication.
You seem to be a rational lady with your child's best interest at heart. Don't worry about it now, when the time comes, your child will understand & you may have to be prepared to answer his/ her questions.
Be honest. Never tell your child their father's negative traits. Instead be the best mom you can be. Your priority now is to provide a secure future for them.
Best of Luck.

Answer 3

The only time to consider divorce is when there's abuse, or adultery and if neither one has happened then you need to stay and work on it together not just one both.

Sit down and try and talk about what brought the two of you together in the first place, I know if I get really upset with my husband watching our wedding video or looking at pictures makes me realize how much I love him regardless of how much of an (well you know) he is.

If things don't work out make him leave, but not before he explains to your daughter that he doesn't want to be a part of her life, as long as you love her, take care of her, and give her a loving home and at least two strong foundations God and you she'll be happy.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are miserable, and he isn't interested in saving your marriage. Your child won't blame you any more than anyone else will blame you...people change, things happen and life gets complicated. But the reason to live is to be happy. If you are not, and being single with a child looks better, then get out, easy. But don't expect being a single mom to be easy, it just might be quieter, though.

Answer 5

If you think that you have done every possible thing that you or anyone else can think of then it's going to end. but i would suggest that you take it slowly and have nice quiet talks with eachother in a manner that is calm and rational. don't be afraid to share ur feelings and tell eachother why or why not you should get divorced. divorce is a big thing and i don't even like the topic of it, but as i would like to help you i will tell you this. make every possible ammends and even if you both ARE going to get divorced then still be kind and giving unto ur husband to show him that you still care for hiim. when in doubt pray to the Lord for guidance and for what you and your husband sould do. when you are praying try to keep it a spiritual as possible. even if u don't believe in God still pray for something like this. if God doesn't answer your prayers immeditally don't be discouraged. he will tell you in time and you just need to take time every day to sit in peace and jsut let your mind run. it may come to you then. just don't be pridefull while you are trying to get an answer.

Answer 6

This is the only way I could respond to your answer to my question.
It was an actual question, not for the sake of asking. (How many of you actually care if you give good answers/advice or not?)
It was (is) a poll of human decency. As well as curiousity as to how ppl would (will) respond to the question. I would sincerely like to know what ppls intentions are when they are reading these questions.
But thank you for pointing out how my question isn't good enough for you to even bother, I must ask with all seriousness, how often do you do that in your marriage?

Answer 7

try separating for awhile maybe you both need alittle time away from each other to evaluate your relationship. I could say go to counseling, but sometimes you can make your own decisions without spending money for someone to tell you things you already know. the constant arguing is hurting your child more than an actual divorce or separation. from my experience she will not blame you, but admire you for making the right decision. never stay together for the sake of the child because sometimes it can do more damage than good .

Answer 8

If you are going to do it, do it now while your child is still young. Don't worry about her blaming you, just tell her that you both wanted different things in life and you did what was best for you and her to make the both of you happy.

Answer 9

i am going through the exact thing you are i have a child also my wife left me about an hour ago because she wasnt happy and i dont think she will let me see the baby either i dont know how to advise you on this all i can say is cheer up and let god take care of it

Answer 10

Don't worry about what your daughter may or may not think. If your and hubby decide to split and he does not come around and be there for her, she will come to her own conclusions about him. You haven't written anything about what a wonderful father he is now. Personally I could not be with someone who chose to fight with me all the time and is unhappy being with me.