she thinks its wrong for me to date while we are still marriage, but donot wont a divorce. i donot wont to be along, its as though i am at a stand still. its as though she donot wont me and donot wont me to have anyone else. what do you think? another thing we are not on the same page when it comes to life. i think the marriage was a mistake, i am willing to work it out. also she keep giving me excuses. at the same donot wont a divorce.
2006-07-02 16:48:11 · 7 answers · asked by sam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If there is any reason for her to believe that you are both trying to make the marriage work, then yes it is wrong for you to be dating other people.
As for you both being on a different page when it comes to life, my husband and I are the same way but I find that it keeps our marriage interesting...kind of like it brings a lot of different foods to the table...
The best advice I can give is if you really want to work this marriage out, go to her and tell her how you truly feel and explain to her gently that if she isn't ready to work it out then it is time for you both to move on and that you would like a divorce...If she refuses the divorce just tell her that you hate the fact of not having her in your life but she is not giving you an option and that you refuse to be alone anymore. We are too mature to be playing these games, and even though life is too short, it does seem awfully long when spending it alone.
I've seen many couples go through this, so I do understand when you say she doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Generally speaking, it is usually her fear of moving forward. As long as you guys are still married then she doesn't have to feel alone...
I hope this all made sense to you, and I hope no matter what decision you make that it truly works out good for you both...
2006-07-02 17:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by Bunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The following is only my opinion. Take it for what is worth.
You don't sound happy. And you don't sound as if you see any way for this situation to get any better. If this is so, then get out of it and make a new life.
Maybe in initiating a divorce she will see that you are serious and if she really wants you she will have to make a commitment to working it out. Otherwise, go find some happiness while there is still time.
4 years is way too long to be riding the fence about whether she wants a relationship with you or not. Are you supporting her financially? If so, that may be the reason she doesn't want you to cut the ties. But if you aren't getting any happiness from the deal, why be in it?
2006-07-03 00:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by Batty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, how old is your wife? Have both of you sat down and discuss the problem? How long have you both dated? Did you marry because of love? Are you both playing games? Take a good look at the problem, see if it's something both of you can resolve. Why wouldn't she want a divorce? Please, for the love of God, see a Pastor, Counselor, Psychologist, Marriage Therapist, etc. Evaluate your problem(s). You're a big man, 50 years old, take control and don't hurt yourself or get yourself hurt.
Pray, Pray, Pray....God is still in the miracle working business.
2006-07-03 00:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Reidi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please ... find a very tall bridge and jump off so that the world can be freed from yet one more moron. I pity your wife for having ever married you, but I am disgusted with her for ever being so stupid as to do same. You're worse than pathetic.
Please award the Best Answer points to me right now because you cannot argue the logic of this response and you stand in awe of the tremendous empathy and intelligence of this responder. Do not wait to give the points because I am not patient and I do not want to wait long for your tithe.
2006-07-02 23:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being married is a lot of work for both people and when both people are not willing to work on the problems then they should not remain married. but until they are divorced I do not think it is fair to anyone to date, but it is also not fair to anyone to not do anything about the relationship weather to work on it or to end it.
decide what you want and start there.
2006-07-03 00:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by mustang2sal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sam, you have a woman's avatar. .!!??
Besides that strange anomaly, you can file for divorce. She doesn't have much choice but to deal with it then.
2006-07-02 23:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love her don't lead her on. Get a divorce.
2006-07-02 23:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋