How do I divorce my husband?

Question

I don't know what to do anymore. We've been married for 4 yrs, but together for 6 yrs. He doesn't seem to ever want to work (the longest he has kept a job was for 2yrs-of course this was before we were married). He spends more time with his friends than his own kids (ages 3+5). When I fuss about money issues he thinks I'm overreacting (I'm the bread-winner of course). He never helps me around the house or anything else but still expects me to cook, clean, + have sex with him after I've worked all night long. Then when I don't want to he has the nerve to get mad at me for refusing. I have put up with this for too long and I know that is why he feels it's okay. I just wish someone could give me advice on how to get rid of him (legally) and for me not to have to give him anything out of the divorce( cars, house, alimony, etc). Please help, I want the best for my kids, I don't want my son to grow up and be like him and I don't want my duaghter to marry someone like him.

By the way everything that I have was purchased prior to us getting married (house, car, furniture and it is all in my name). Does this make a difference in what he will get from the divorce? He is not disabled, he is 32 yrs old and perfectly capable of working anywhere. At this point him working for Mcdonalds would at least show that he is attempting to help out until something better comes along, but he won't even do that. I asked him once and he said that he was too good to work there. The nerve of him to say that like he is royalty or something. I live in Memphis, TN if someone knows any good attorneys here and can give me their names.

Answer 1

See if he will go to a marriage counselor with you before filing for divorce. See an attorney the first visit is free. You will probably get to keep what was yours before the marriage if you did not put it in both of your names after the marriage. If he gets a lawyer do not use his but if he wants to use yours let him making sure the lawyer knows that you are the client. My son did this and the lawyer was for him since he was the client and was paying him. It’s good to let the children see him as all children need their fathers in their lives no matter if he is an s o b. You may not have been married long enough to have to pay alimony. My son did not and was married longer than you. Check it out and good luck.

Answer 2

OMG... I could have written that same question about 5 yrs ago. I did end up divorcing him. Although I will tell you some days being divorced was harder than staying married and putting up with the crap. I say "was" because I did end up meeting someone absolutely incredible. Totally opposite from my ex and he adores children.

Legally, I'm not an attorney. Nor do I know your state laws. You will have to be sure that you have a reason that is recognized by the courts, ie irreconciable differences. The divorce is easy as long as he doesn't protest. If you 2 can't agree, then the court will split everything down the middle for you. You won't have a choice. They will set the child support based on income ratios and state laws. Alimony gets a little stickier, be prepared for a fight on that one. If he agrees that divorce is the answer, try mediation. That will give you better control over splitting of the assets, visitation, holidays, etc. Mediators can run a few hundred an hour. However with mediation, you may save some $$ because you will only need one atty in court. But make sure that you have your own atty look over the paperwork before you sign. The mediator will not work for either of you, nor will they represent anyone in court, they will simply ask the right questions so you 2 can come to an agreement on each of the vital issues.

My official advice is to try, try, try counseling. Do everything you can to save your marriage. Pray about it. Don't give up if there is still a chance. But if you do end up leaving, be prepared for the hardest road of your life. Those babies will need you more than ever. They will need constant reassurance and attention. Love them will all of your might and don't bad mouth their daddy. He will still be their daddy even if he isn't your husband. Let them keep their relationship. Hopefully he will realize what he lost and will work harder on being a good daddy (not just a father). Who knows, you might even fall in love with him all over again. Nobody ever said that you couldn't re-marry him.

Answer 3

Get an atttorney. You are right you don't need your children around such a poor role model/.
Once the papers are delivered to him change the locks on the door. Take a short vacation or go to a friend or family's place.
Alert the cops.
Put his stuff out on the front porch and give him two days to pick it up or it is in the trash. You might even want to move

It you lose any earthly belongings isn't it worth it to lose the creep? You might have to take a loss. It will be worth it.
You sound like you are strong enough to be the breadwinner.....get rid of the guy who is just hanging around for a free lunch.

Answer 4

the first thing I would do is consult a lawyer and find out what my right are. Then I would start using my own wits and use what I needed such as child support tell him you won't make him pay it for awhile if he doesn't try to take the house. I don't think you are going to get out of the marriage with everything but try for most you also will get more because you are going to be raising the children. there is 1 thing I can tell you to use and it worked for me when I was trying to get rid of my first husband it took a little while, but he left. I treated him terrible all the time i told him I didn't love him nor did I want him all Idid was snap at him everytime he spoke I made his life hellish

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear about you trial. Your best option at this time is to seek legal counsel. Most attorneys will do a consultaion for an hour for free especailly if they are truly worth their salt in their field. When looking for an attorny ask around get some refrences. The divorce rate in this country is high and we all know 1 or 2 people who are divorced. Second, LEAVE!!!! I know this is usually the hardest part but if he refuses to work then LEAVE!!! go back home to your paretns, to a friend that can accomidate you for a few weeks. This may be all it takes for him to turn his attitude around 180 and get a job and try to support his family and finally, anyone in you situation that goes before a judge in a divorce usually gets everything they ask for, however, it is always in your best intrest to play the martyr. Attempt to make reasonable arraingments for personal properties and what not. But again start with leagal counsel. Oh and be prepared to deal with alot of difficult times ahead. I doubt he will make it easy on you. Do what is in your best intrest and that of your family.

Answer 6

Go to Your Court House they have a Do it Yourself Divorce Kit and as long as you had everything before the marriage he can't get nothing from you.Filing Papers on Your Own you can also do a form stating your income & they might wave the fee for the sheriff to deliver papers to him & wave all court costs you need to show proof of income.Sounds like you got yourself a Real Bum get rid of him as fast as you can or your stuck with him for years to come he has it made & he knows it so he isn't going no where.Honest I've been thru it & it took me 7yrs now I'm Very Happy & I did it the way I told you a Women's Center gave me all the info & I was in the same situation just fed up went there for Support & a Counsler talked with me & now I'm doing much better I kept everything & proofed to the court that I paid for everything & I walked out of that court house owning everything him nothing lol.Good Luck

Answer 7

You need to contact a good attorney in your area, because divorce laws and property laws vary from state to state. Of course, if it's a joint checking account, just clean it out before he finds out your intentions. Start stashing money away, but you really need to consult an attorney, because there's a right and a wrong way to do it. And the right way for me here, may not be right for the state you live in. Good luck.

Answer 8

Are you extreme or trolling? in case your husband became inebriated he probable concept you've been another lady. he's telling you (wondering in his drunken state that you're some random unusual lady) about you! that's why he used your call, he meant you! He became telling you that you're the most impressive element that ever surpassed off to him and that he loves you a lot. there is not any different spouse observed as Marylin, only one, you. guess he has no recollection at each and every of the subsequent day. relax :)

Answer 9

If you purchased everything before the marriage, you should be able to keep it. Pack up his clothes put them in the front lawn and change the locks. If you think about it what is he there for? And as hard as it sounds even if it costs you a little to get rid of him it will cost you more in the long run to keep him.

Answer 10

well, I can understand wanting to be rid of him, just don't understand why you are trying to be selfish and not split everything up 50/50. I am guessing you feel you worked and he didn't so he doesn't deserve half. but the law says he does, if you had of been the lazy bum, you would have still wanted your half, I am willing to bet on that. if you want it over and quick, give him his half and move on, bickering over possessions will drag it out for a very long time. child support will probably be non-existant since he has never worked since marriage. good luck.