the guy is separated, tells me he is trying to work things out with her..ok that is fine but calls me when i tell him not to, tells me he can't stand her and he thinks of me all the time but wants to try for his son, tells me it is not going to work out and it feels like he is cheating on me when he is there with her, but won't leave her even though their relationship is abusive at times and our relationship is great like best friends. i don't understand how do i accept this? is he keeping me for the " just in case they don't work?" i feel used, hurt pls help
2006-07-02 15:00:51 · 9 answers · asked by just_wanna_hv_fun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i know you love this guy because you're trying to cope on your side....
But the guy needs to be sure of what he wants. If he loves you, then he should not go back to his ex-wife. Yes, he loves his son, but he (your bf) needs to deal with that fact. He should have thought of that before he got separated, not after doing so.
In this situation, I suggest you break up with him if he really wants to make the relationship with his ex-wife work. He's being selfish with having you and still pursuing his ex-wife. If things work out with them, then let it be. If it doesn't, then when he comes back to you, he should be 100% sure of staying with you.
Don't make things complicated as it already is. Simplify it by putting subjective and changing emotions aside, then be disciplined enough to do what you ought to do. Emotions complicate things. I am not saying emotions are bad, but in this case when things are just out of hand, you need a logical perspective or grounding to fix your situation.
2006-07-02 15:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jivan S 3 · 10⤊ 4⤋
This is a situation nobody wants to be in, but hang in there. You need to alot of soul searching and nobody can tell you the best way to handle just advise. Well he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Think of it this way he cheated on his wife with you do you really want a relationship with someone who did not hold true to his vows. How can you trust that when things go wrong in your relationship or he gets bored he does the same to you. Once a cheat always a cheat. You may think you will not be happy with anyone else but the right person is out there and i think you need to rethink you morals and values and always what you want in guy. No one wants to be in this position so don't be this is not something you would think of your future. Hope this helps.
2006-07-02 22:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by kristalrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your guy sounds like he does not know what he wants; just dont be a Doormat for him. There are many Fish in the Ocean, get out and meet with other PPL.
2006-07-02 22:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by lousylaus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really Love some one then let them go. You want them to be happy don't you. And if your being used then it will all be in the wash and you will not hurt so bad.
2006-07-02 22:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by troyssingleagain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men lie alot
2ndly, if he would love you he wont stay a day without you,
its better if u just say yes and stay away from him, and basically i dont think u can see any future with him, if hes married and got a kid,
some ppl like vanice ice cream, some like choclate
but some of them, like both of them, :) u knw what i mean to say,
stay away from him
2006-07-02 22:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by bizi_786 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like we experienced the same thing.What i did was, i let him do the choice and told him that He needs to choose his love and love that choice so that i can go on with my life.
2006-07-02 22:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by darlene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does this stuff so Just in Case his wife kicks him out- he has You...
when he calls, dont talk, and get another guy... tell him you are dating and let him deal with HIS life...
He's a Cheater, and he would on YOU!
2006-07-02 22:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away immediately! Don't look back!!
2006-07-02 22:05:13 · answer #8 · answered by LN has3 zjc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always go with your gut instinct even if you rather ignore it.
2006-07-02 22:04:10 · answer #9 · answered by jaybersdime1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋