I am trying to do my own lyrics since i want to be in future band and am a beginner guitarist. What do you think so far on the first part on the lyrics? What can i do better on it?
I wanted to get out of this place
I look up in the sky
Look through the land
Just to find the place where I can stay
I'm not sure if I'm ever comin' back
Please forgive me for all the things
I have done wrong over the years
How can I fix all those things
I don't know why I did them
Or even how they even happened
2006-07-02 14:18:21 · 4 answers · asked by Gothic Girl 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
no no no.
don't answer the question if it is something stupid like the first answer i got. please. i want appropiate answers. other ppl might read this too and might be offened
2006-07-02 14:29:21 · update #1
yes you have the right idea of writing lyrics!!!! your pretty good. so yeah i have a few suggestions on how to make the song a lil better if you wanna hear it just email me and tell me. its good though!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-02 15:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by I Luv Joel Madden!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest submitting your poems/ lyrics to deviantart.com instead of here. There are more artists and writers there more likely to help.
They're not bad. It's all very vague. One thing that makes poetry very good is sensory detail. Specific details. That's my preference anyway. Active verbs are great.
The Pixies have some great lyrics. Check them out for the type of thing I'm saying.
2006-07-02 21:36:45 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty nice. But I would shorten it a bit, perhaps slash off 3-4 lines and add those to the next verse.
2006-07-02 21:36:34 · answer #3 · answered by Reverie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it! my advice: just write for Y O U not anyone else.
2006-07-04 02:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by Pisqualli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋