Do you have any good limericks ?

Question

I think limericks are among the most enloyable forms of poetry. Short, witty and meaningful.

I am trying to make a collection of the best ones and would be grateful for the best one or two you know or can find. Please be very selective as I am aiming for quality, not quantity.

Answer 1

There was a young man from Gwent.
Whose tool was peculiarly bent.
To save himself trouble.
He put it in double.
So instead of coming, he went.

Answer 2

no but some hai ku's instead







Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

Wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

ABORTED effort:
Save and close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down


There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

Answer 3

There was a Lime called Rick
Who some Time got Sick
He flew from Shannon
To play Backgammon
In Casinos Sublimely Quick
Took the last Dime from a Limey Prick

Answer 4

Not til the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvus, and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful, in the weaver's skillful hands
As the threads of gold and silver in the patttern He has planned.

Author Unknown

Answer 5

There as a young man from St. Pauls
who toured the musical halls,
His famous trick
was to stand on his d**k
and roll off the stage on his balls

Answer 6

A bear once went to the store
and he said as he walked through the door
"I sure don't admire the fact you won't hire
talking bears like me anymore"

--Merrill Sunderland

Answer 7

I got a girl atop a hill
She won't f**k
but her sister will

When I'm dead and in my grave,
No more pu**y will I crave
but on my tombstone will be seen
Here lie the bones of a f**king machine

Answer 8

Sorry about the misspelling of your name buthere goes....


There was a lad called Francoo
who asked a question toYahoo
the answers he got
were not all that hot
so he said well just F**k you

hmmmmmmmmmmm

Answer 9

there once was a man with a mole
who went to a store and stole
the police took him in
with his big moley chin
now hes on parole
-- Amber Swisher

Hhmm i made that one a really long time ago

Answer 10

There once was male ballet dancer
Who was searching on Yahoo answers
For info on a tutu
And music to dance to
This male was a chancer.


Haha. So very lame, I agree!