Why are so many women afraid of giving birth?

Question

I've been reading so many questions from women on this site who seem terrified of birth. And so many of the women answering are advocating the use of drugs and surgery to bring their children into the world. Birth is a wonderful amazing exprience. Yes it hurts, but it's also so special. Why are we willing to give it up because of fear? Women are strong, we birth children everyday.

Ok, I'm not saying that fear is unreasonable. But why are women letting this fear take over the birth expirence? Why are so many women asking for drugs and surgery before they ever even feel a contraction?

I am the mother of a 16 month old girl and my second is due in four weeks. I remember every second of my daughters birth.

Answer 1

My opinion - the medical culture in the U.S. has made women fearful of the "pain" of childbirth. Thousands of women give birth naturally EVERY day around the world, and most of them come out just fine. Why does the U.S. have the highest rate of maternal mortality amongst industrialized nations? I think it's the drugs, and the increasing amount of scheduled c-sections taking place every day. Too many women have forgotten that a c-section is surgery, and carries the same risks as other types of surgeries.

Pregnancy, labor and delivery should all be a time to ENJOY and look forward to. Labor and delivery are a natural occurrence, and women's bodies have evolved and adapted to giving birth to children. I'm not saying labor and delivery is a piece of cake, but I can assure you that the pain I experienced during the natural birth of my second child was NOTHING compared to the pain I experienced when my appendix ruptured.

Staying positive and focused, and welcoming the experience make a world of difference. I was given Pitocin and an epidural for the birth of my first child, and it was a miserable experience. Not to mention the tremendous amount of unnatural pain I experienced AFTER the birth (funny how this is never brought up...)

Anyway, I keep rambling, but agree with you wholeheartedly. Women should really explore the birthing process, and understand ALL the options. Knowledge is power. I wonder how many of the women advocating the use of drugs even know what the side effects of those drugs are on themselves or their babies? Women are concerned about what goes into their bodies during the entire pregnancy, but it doesn't seem to carry over into labor and delivery. I know I took for granted that the drugs were not harmful during the birth of my first child (I found out this was WRONG the minute my child went into distress and her heart decelerated). I can report that everything ended up fine, but it was very scary there for a while. It was not the wonderful experience I had envisioned. I know now that the pitocin and epidural had negative effects on both me and my child.

I urge all women reading this to explore natural childbirth. It was the MOST REWARDING and EMPOWERING experience I have ever had. I was up and walking around 10 minutes after I gave birth, and took NO pain medication before or after the birth.

Answer 2

Well, let's see pain. In today's age, pain has become something that we avoid at all cost. We take pain killers for headaches. Some people are stronger than others. It's natural to be scared of the unknown movies. Especially when you see Movies that sit there and have the women screaming in pain. Yes, women are strong and can bare through it. But the knoweldge of something being painful really can make a women scared. I don't blame a women for choosing drugs over nothing. Surgery isn't necessarily selected by every women. I've noticed more, but most were not by choice. If anything, I fear the pain of preganancy whenever that happens for me, but I fear the idea of someone giving me a csection. I don't care what anyone says. The idea of a knife going across me isn't comftable at all. However, I think more emphasis needs to be placed on the feelings and emotions that a women experiences after the baby is out. Once that baby out, there is a feeling or emotion that I've heard other Mom's talk about that can only be experienced by having a baby.

Answer 3

I was going to answer: Have you ever seen a baby been born?

Well seing another woman suffering so much I guess terrifies many women. I know I want to have the baby, and what I do is to try not to think about that moment so that I can remain calm... but if you are a first timer, wouldn't you be scared? is something you have never experienced.

It seem you already had a baby (person asking this question). But I kind of think that you either had no idea how much it was goint to hurt or just don't remember before having the baby how you felt... either one!

Answer 4

Honestly, it is because it has been said that when a woman is giving birth, it is the closest to death that she will ever get without dying. Not to mention the pains of child birth.

In order for a man to understand how painful this process is, he first must understand how it feels to bleed from his private part every month, the cramps, the bloating, and fatigue that goes along with it, and even the pain of a female losing her virginity. None of this compares to child birth, however, it is the beginning of the understanding of the pains of being a woman.

During her nine months of pregnancy, she can't sleep the way she wants to, she has to learn another way to sleep. Not to mention the changes her body goes through for the baby form properly. The morning sickness, pain, and everything else that goes along with that are only the humble beginnings of a such a pain filled process. After about five months, just as her body gets adjusted to this feeling, another surprise comes along, the baby kicking. The only thing left is labor pains, pains from which all the bones in her body must stretch and open up so the baby can pass safely.

After all that this woman has been through, how can you blame her for being scared of actually giving birth? She has already been through a lot of sh*t. She can only assume that things are going to get worse. Hope this answers your question.

Answer 5

When I was giving birth to my son, yes, I was scared to death. It hurt worse than anything I had ever experienced, but still used only non narcotic pain relievers all 18 1/2 hours. I tore so badly during the actual birth that now that I am pregnant with my second child, I may HAVE to have a c-section because of the extent of the damage down there. I am afraid of making that tear worse, because 1 1/2 yrs later, it still hurts.

Answer 6

I know I was afraid because it was such an unknown. I chose to have an epidural because I just wasn't sure if I would be able to handle the pain. I knew that if it wasn't that bad then I could opt out of the meds (rather than the other way around). I would recommend the epi for anyone who is afraid that the pain will be too much for them to take but I would never recommend a c-section. I believe the c-sec is for complicated situations only. It's major surgery!

Answer 7

I agree with you, but I think sometimes the fear is mixed with the anxiety of bringing a new person into the world. Every pregnant woman at some time in their pregnancy will wonder if their baby is normal, healthy etc. I guess it's just normal. Women forget about the pain fast though I noticed.

Answer 8

I think the problem with this site is there are a lot of young women on this site. I am only in my 20's but I cannot wait to give birth when I am ready. I think a lot of the girls on this site are afraid of other social impacts and have heard some weird stories about birth. As you get older I think you look forward to the process.

Answer 9

I am terrified.maybe because of the pain i think that i'll endure... I never been preggy but i am scared. I mean i already have trouble taking a ****. now imagine that to the 5oth power hahaha j.k.
Like...what if I wouldn't feel the same after I have a baby when having sex, and will my coochie will be really loose after or whatever you know stuff like that. But I thought about it...and I think that i'm just going to have a cesarian. ( is that how you spell it?) yeah birth is a beautiful experiance. But you are still consious about some things. I don't think id use drugs. if I had a natural birth. I would like to remember it. after my 2nd or 3rd child i might have a natural birth. And when it's your first time you should endure that. BUT I WOULDN'T!

Answer 10

I used to be terrified about it, until a close friend got pregnant and I got to see the process first hand. I think something like that is just so different from anything else that we are familiar with, especially as young girls and women. There are fluids...blood...your body changes...and yeah, we've heard so much about the pain! But seeing it happen up close is a great way to feel less threatened and scared.