would you tell?

Question

if you saw your best friends husband in a restaurant with another women would you tell her ?

Answer 1

Yes! But you have to be careful how you tell her. Remember Love is blind so he might try to lie and make you out to be the bad person. But all in all you are the true friend and she as anyone deserves to know. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Were they affectionate with each other or just having a meal?

What a tricky situation. You friend may not believe you if you did tell her. Maybe you should say something to the husband - if you can get him alone or on the phone say "Oh I saw you the other day, was that your secretary or a client you were with?" You might get an idea of what the situation was that way - he might act guilty or something and that might put fear enough into him to stop the behavior if he is being naughty.

I guess if you follow the golden rule, you would do for her what you would want her to do for you in that situation - and if you feel you must tell her, you might start the convo off that way "I know that if I was in your situation..."

My advice would be not to tell her. Her finding out is what will upset her - and if she thinks others know and she looks a fool, she will not thank you (so once she tells you, I would not tell her I already knew either). If he is going to hurt her, let him be the one to do it. As long as she doesn't know, she is not in pain - and it really has nothing to do with you.

Peace!

Answer 3

There are two possible ways you can handle the situation:
1) You can bring it up subtly, mention that you saw him and comment on the woman he was with. This could prevent you from looking like an instigator if it turns out to be harmless. If it does turn out to be what you assumed, you remove yourself from the situation. After all, you only barely got a glimpse of her and any other information wouldn't be coming from you.

2) You could let it go and not get involved in her marriage. What you interpret as a kind gesture, can be taken offensively if you disrupt their happiness by being the one to bring the news. And the last thing you want to do is put yourself in the middle of it. Another thing is that you are an outsider, and their marriage is an entity all to itself. You may not even know half of what goes on in their relationship. In that case mind your business.

If she's your best friend you should have a better understanding of how she handles information. Gage the situation so you know which one will work best for you. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Well, it may be an honest thing. I would first casually say to him, something like, Oh hi, I saw you the other day in ????. Who was that you were with? She looked familiar. Does she work ?????

See what he says. If he sounds scared to stutters, come out and tell him what you think. You will certainly get an answer than. AND if she is a real friend, sit her down and tell her you saw him, talked to him and this is what he said. Good Luck!

I may not like it, but I would want to be told rather than be made a fool of by him, the girlfriend, and the friend that saw him.

Answer 5

Yuppers

Answer 6

yes i would,I made the mistake of not telling my best friend a few years ago that i saw her husband visiting his ex,at her hair salon everyday.She did find out eventually what a cheating scoundrel he is but i wish she knew years earlier and i should have told her! :):):)

Answer 7

I would. Try and make it as causal conversation.
Something like, I saw Jim with his sister. Oh that wasn't his sister?

If you don't tell you'll always carry it on your mind. So many questions come up.

Answer 8

I would ask him first what he was doing with another woman. It may have been business, if not, you should absolutely tell her. That's what best friends are for.

Answer 9

my first instinct is -yes tell her.... but i have a simular situation and every time someone tells my friend she believes her husband ,because he swears people are lying on him.... so i cant and dont say anything because, i will be damned if im the liar! people like to live in total denial.... ignorence is bliss!

Answer 10

YES TO THE QUESTIONS BUT, YOU MUST AND I EMPHASIZE MUST FIND THE BEST WAY TO TELL HER WITH SEEMING LIKE YOUR BEING JUDGEMENTAL OR COMING ACROSS AS THE TYPICAL BEST FRIEND WITHOUT KEEPING WHAT MATTERS AS YOU FOCUS, THAT'S HER FEELINGS AND YOUR ROLE AS A TRUE FRIEND, REVERSE THE QUESTION BUT PUT YOU IN HER PLACE AND ASK HER THE SAME QUESTION.