So, I'm a 24 yr old attractive sexual woman and live with my fiance. We have sex about once a month. Is that pathetic? And even when we do I have to be the one to initiate it! A few months ago I found a couple porn magazines which i confronted him about and he said he would cancel the subscription because it upset me...which he did as far as I can tell. A couple months later I come to find that he is looking at porn websites all the time. I haven't said anything to him yet and not sure if I should because he's the type who would get very defensive about it. Should I be attributing the porn as the reason why we never have sex? Should I be questioning whether he finds me attractive enough? What should I do? HELP
2006-07-02 12:55:04 · 19 answers · asked by bmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not you at all and being physically attractive is not an issue. Most women in porn are not even close to physically attractive. The sexual activities portrayed in pornographic sex is does not resemble in any manner the kind of sex most people have.
porn sex is cold mechanical sex. It is practiced by genetic freaks who exhibit neither sexual desire nor passion. In the porn world, a woman is a collection of orifices that it OK to fill and abuse. The world of porn says that it is OK to debasing things to your female partner.. In the real world it is not true
The only way that women working in the sex industry mentally survive is by disconnecting. What strippers call the 1000 mile stare.. The message in the eyes says "I hate you "
So your fiancee is disconnecting and prefers the cold controlled comfort of masturbation to the warmth and spontaneity of a woman that loves him.
It is critically important that you get professional help with this.
You have to give him a choice between a real woman and a fake one. Hopefully he will make the right choice
2006-07-02 13:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-21 13:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I would like to know is, is it you who doesn't want to have sex or him? And if it is him could it be that he is just bord? How long have you been going out? I think it is very natural for any man with a healthy sex drive who is not having sex on a regular basis to look at porn. My solution is try to do some things a little different with sex, mix it up and don't be afraid to tell him what you really want and ask him what he really wants. If that doesn't work you honestly need to take a look at your totally relationship and see if you can live that way for the rest of your life and if you can't it's time to part ways. I've been down that road before.
2006-07-02 13:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by Duece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's looking at porn to self-medicate negative feelings such as anxiety or loneliness. It's something you'll need to confront him about and discuss. Better to do so now so you'll know what to expect as a married couple. If he prefers porn over sex with you, that's not healthy. Regardless, you two need to talk to get stuff out in the open.
2006-07-02 13:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should straigten it out one way or the other before you get married. why are you even considering this guy when things are in this state, you are unhappy with your sex life and afraid to talk to him because he'll get defensive. i doubt the porn is the reason for the lack of sex, it seems as though he should look at the porn get excited and want to have sex but thats not happening.
2006-07-02 13:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be more concerned that your not having sex being a married couple, rather than the porn shows. Put a camera in the house and watch his activity. Maybe he's cheating also!
2006-07-02 13:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by bigshep88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the porn is the reason why you guys have sex so little, then yes, he probably has a problem and needs counseling. It simply isn't fair to you that you should get what you need so little.
2006-07-02 13:16:47 · answer #7 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you always just had sex once a month if not he might be bored with your guy's sex life not you .have you guy's try to spice it up could you look at porn with him.try a few different things with him and see if things change. if not or it does and all he wants is kinky sex and does not want make love to you he needs help
2006-07-02 13:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by frog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Bye, bye, Baby..." You stick it out with a man who likes paper and cellophane dolls over what he has in front of him and you won't come out ahead. What I wish I knew is why a guy does this? I mean after all, he has it right in front of him and he's going for the diversion? How weird and screwed up is *that*? The real-life girlfriend has feelings and needs and he's ignoring them. If you do plan on marrying him, seek counseling to better your chances. If not, dump him. Nobody needs *that* kind of disrespect in their relationship!
2006-07-02 13:02:11 · answer #9 · answered by coorissee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn websites in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.netdogsoft.com
2006-07-02 18:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋