we've been together for 7 years and have a beautiful daughter. he is not interested in getting married and says having anymore children is out of the question. should i stay and accept this or move on and make myself happy. i don't want to break up my daughters family but i'm 30 now and i feel i'm running out of time to make my decision (to have another baby). does he really love me if he isn't willing to compromise in at all.
2006-07-02 12:53:43 · 23 answers · asked by rhoda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out now while you still can!!!
2006-07-02 12:56:00 · answer #1 · answered by LnsmCa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a tough question and I can certainly relate. You should ask him what his reasons are for not having anymore children. I am in a relationship as well (married for 5 years and 1 child) and I wanted to have another one and my husband was totally opposed to it. I had to realize that having children is not an easy job. Sometimes one child is all we can handle.
If you love him and he loves you, then one child may be all you two need. Now on the other hand, you should ask him about the marriage thing and why he doesnt want to commit to that at least. The main question here is if he truelly loves you? If he acts like he doesnt, and you two have this little girl, you should reconsider your relationship with him, but not because of him not wanting another baby, but because he is not willing to commit to you and your daughter.
2006-07-02 20:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by loveshy34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way you are running out of time because the older you get, the more risky a pregnancy is to mother and baby. You need to decide how important having another child is to you and then base your decision to stay with him on whether or not you want another child. If you are happy with the daughter you have and are sure you won't regret not having another then stay with him, but if not then maybe you should give him an ultimatum about the issue. If he loves you and his daughter then maybe he'll agree to another child to save his relationship with you and to spare his daughter the upheaval of a custody battle.
2006-07-02 20:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should decide if you want to be married to him or not. If he loves you and your daughter he Will marry you. He just has not been told by you there is no other choice. You tell him (you choose the best method) that you are valuable enough to be a wife. You are to be respected enough to have a husband, Your daughter deserves to have a father and mother who are married. It is either your way or the highway. Do not let him manipulate you, for he will try. Do not accept anything but a firm agreed upon plan to get married as soon as possible. He he will not, you have the power to make him decide. You can withhold, not do things, make things miserable for him... you have the power, use it.. oh, be a good wife to him :o)
2006-07-02 20:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by nobodiesinc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him after your daughter has gone to bed. Discuss what the 2 of you want in life and if a you guys can find a middle ground that both of you are happy about then stay. If his priorities are way different from your's it will, cause conflict in the future and you could end up resenting eachother. You might have to face that over the past 7 seven years, you both might have grown apart.
2006-07-02 20:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by Ashs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are his reasoning for not wanting another baby or getting married ?think about it maybe he has a good reason .not enough money to support a 2nd baby?well anyways the point is that you come first you have to make yourself happy if your not happy how can you give your daughter a happy life ?if you want more babies and want to get married just move on and find someone that wants the same thing .you deserve it .mayb he doesnt love you i dont know but if you think that he doesnt your most likey right .i womens intuition is always right
2006-07-02 20:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I spent 5 years with a guy that 'said' he wanted the same things I did. Turns out, he didn't. I wound up marrying him and then finding out that we weren't on the same page. I divorced him to get what I wanted out of life (children).
Your situation is a little more complicated since children are involved. But someone has to give. How important is it to you to get married and have another child? You need to find out why he isn't interested in either one. Then decide what your next step is.
Only he knows he if really loves you.
2006-07-09 06:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always make yourself happy, but before you choose to leave or not, find out his reasoning for not wanting to get married and not wanting anymore children... you might agree. If not explain to him why you want to get married and have more children, if he loves you he will try to compromise to make you both happy. Good Luck!
2006-07-02 20:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by schl1276 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not listen to him. Thought you could change him.....you said he said he was not interested in getting married. It doesn't get much more clear than that. Why would you bring another child into the world under the premise of a compromise? He is clear on where he stands. Open your ears.
2006-07-02 20:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by folklore 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are totally right...if he loved you..he would be willing to do anything to make you happy...even if that means having another kid. the brightside is that this doesnt mean that he doesnt love you he just may not be ready to take the next step in his life. if you think that getting married and having a kid is what you most want to do next i would srongly recommend looking for another man...you need to do whats best for you and that is something that only you can determine...if your daughter's opinion matters a lot to you...try talking to your daughter about it and see how she would feel. good luck and follow your heart
2006-07-02 19:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stick with him for a little while. Discuss with him why another child and getting married are out of the picture. Tell him how you feel and then make a descision on the way he responds. maybe you arent ready to get married and hes afraid of making that big step.
2006-07-02 19:56:17 · answer #11 · answered by LaurLaur 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋