my boyfriend was killed this past christmas..i dont know what 2 do..i cry just about every day an i hide it from everybody..somtimes i wish it was me instead of him..an somtimes i wish i could just die right now b/c im so depressed an hes not with me..what do i do?
2006-07-02 12:51:55 · 28 answers · asked by llj_09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He IS there with you. That's the first and foremost. Trust that. I know how you feel, there are still days I shed some tears. Songs come on the radio, tears fall gently down my cheeks. It has been over 20 years and I still miss him. But the pain subsides with time. You have the right to your mourning but you also need to take the first step to healing. I am almost positive he would want you to live your life, not waste it. His chance was taken away. Your's hasn't been. He is with you always (my belief) Live for you both. ~Peace, Love & Light
2006-07-02 13:04:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I"m sorry for your loss...I've never lost a boyfriend but I have lost loved ones and from personal experience I think the best thing you can do is to not hide it from everyone- talk to the people who love you and will be there for you and if that's too difficult- talk to an "unconnected" party that can be objective. Also, as difficult as it is, try not to dwell on the loss but remember the good stuff. That's what I do....when I start to get bummed- I think of something funny that happened and I can't help but smile or if i'm with others, we tell stories.
but no matter what you do....don't try to handle it alone- take the down time and lean on those who you know are strong enough to keep you upright in your time of need.
2006-07-02 20:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by CuddleyKB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone close to us dies, not only do we lose that person on the physical level. We also face the loss of potential—what could have been. So our pain can involve missing that person’s presence: sleeping in a bed that’s half empty, craving the scent of their hair or longing for their embrace. More than that, we are almost constantly reminded of their absence, especially at certain life markers. We might wonder what life would have been like had that person survived. Would we have brought children into the world? How would we have celebrated our anniversary?
http://about.newsusa.com/article-site.asp?ArticleId=3592
2006-07-02 20:01:13 · answer #3 · answered by GooberPottybrains 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby, Im sorry. You probably need to seek professional help to get through this. Talking through the grief is the only was to get past it and move on. I went through the loss of a father when I was in my teens and I didnt deal with it for a long long time. I just carried it around until it became too much of a burden and I felt like I was going to collapse. Dealing with it has given me the ability to have a life...it never fully goes away, but there is hope at the end of all dark tunnels. love love, take care
2006-07-02 19:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by jessalyn2727 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry. But maybe hiding it is adding to the stress and depression of it. if you could share the grief with someone it might help. Perhaps you could look into support groups for grieving over loved ones.
Christmas will never be the same, but it's important for you to first, grieve, and cry it all out. Take your time.
but it's equally important to seal that, and move on with the life that you have left. Your boyfriend wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life in suffering.
2006-07-02 19:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by truthyness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hide your hurt from others. Its perfectly natural for you to still feel this way. Life does go on I'm sorry to say. There are many others in your situation and eventually they learn to cope. Its too soon for you to heal now. Just try to think ahead and some day it will get better.
2006-07-02 19:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by Corina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry about your boyfriend
i can understand why it's so hard to deal with because what happens after death will always remain an open question but I believe he is in a better place...a place that he feels complete, and he wants you to be happy and live your life out to the fullest until one day you can embrace again. Don't let this stop you, let it move you.
2006-07-02 19:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by akiastatz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think you should just let it out. It's really hard, I know, but the more you realize it, the more you accept it. And be glad it wasn't you, I don't mean to be harsh, but you can accomplish things to make it a better world. So don't let a death bring you down, just remember him and all the good times you had.You'll find your way out.I'm very sorry,no one should have to experience that.
2006-07-02 20:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by candy no's 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you, it really is a aweful thing to happen with anyone and it should be hard to accept it.
If possible take a look at my personal page at the address below and contact me, I'll try to help you if I can.
2006-07-02 20:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what to say, since I'm not in your shoes, but I will pray for your healing. It's never easy losing someone, and you sure won't be able to forget. Try to surround yourself with supportive loved ones and/or friends who you can open up with. Alone and hiding yourself FOR SURE is not the answer.
2006-07-02 19:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by Aaron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋