ME AND TWO OF MY CLOSEST GIRLFRIENDS ARE ALL LEAVING TO DIFFERENT STATES NOW THAT WERE GOING OFF TO COLLEGE...THE OTHER DAY WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OUR LIVES IN SOME ODD YEARS... WE GOT ON THE SUBJECT OF CHILDREN AND I TOLD THEM THAT I WASNT SURE IF I WANTED KIDS...I SEE MYSELF AS MORE OF AN AUNT...OR GOD MOM...MORE THAN A MOTHER...SO I WASNT SURE IF I WANTED CHILDREN...THEY THOUGHT IT WAS SELFISH OF ME TO NOT WANT CHILDREN... YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE...
2006-07-02 11:32:45 · 22 answers · asked by jerard 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i see it as not eveyone wants children so why is that a crime...really im scared of the pain too and all the stress that comes with it...theres always adoption... if i change my mind...
children are blessings but im really scared...
2006-07-02 11:38:29 · update #1
they said its because there are families out there that arent as fortunate as i and i should have the children if i can...
2006-07-02 11:39:39 · update #2
I wasn't sure if I wanted children either until just a few years ago. And I am 36. So don't worry about what everyone else is doing or planning. Do what you want to do enjoy life, get situated and someday you may decide that you want children. As we get older our opinions change on certain issues and you may someday really want kids. If you don't want them today don't have them today you still have lots of time.
2006-07-16 11:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are better at being the Aunt. And there is nothing wrong with that. At your age I didn't want kids. And I knew I didn't. Now 10 years later and I can't wait to have some. Right now you know you aren't ready to be a Mom. So you may change your mind. I did. And even if you don't, That doesn't make you selfish. It would be selfish if you had children that you didn't want.
2006-07-02 11:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by dkhae1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have friends of many years who have chosen not to have children. Because they both work,they have a lot of disposable income and travel and eat out a lot. I can't say that I don't envy that a little bit.
But on the other hand, I find that creating a new life with someone who you care about,is one of the most fullfilling things I have ever done in my life. The challenge and joy that raising a child brings (and trials and tribulations) has absolutely has made my life a better one. So, are you selfish in not wanting to have a child? No, but let me add that as you get older, things mean less and people a great deal more.
2006-07-16 04:01:37 · answer #3 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not selfish of u 2 not want children. starting a family is a choice. now having a ton of children could end up being selfish, but choosing not 2 have children at all is not. most couples that dont have children are able 2 accomplish a lot more things and have more fun then people that do have kids. look at the bright side of things
2006-07-02 11:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be far more selfish to have a child that you didn't want. If you're mostly afraid of the pain and stress, you're not alone. I was terrified of the pain up until I was done delivering my son. lol And having kids can be stressful but so can anything in life. For every moment of stress there are so many amazing and wonderful moments.
But motherhood is not for everyone. You might change your mind as you get older, but don't let society or narrow minded people change it for you.
2006-07-02 13:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How nice to see an honest person. No, you are not selfish not to want children. My daughter doesn't want any either (by birth). She wants to adopt. However, a couple who are our friends decided when they got married not to have children and they haven't. The reason--the wife did not feel she could deal with a baby and she enjoys her career. They have a good marriage. You and you alone know your limitations and your desires. If children is not a part of who you are (other than aunt or godparent) so be it.
2006-07-02 11:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want children then you don't want children. It has nothing to do with selfishness. My friend herself does not want kids of her own but to adopt is that selfish? If you don't think you would make a good mom then what can you do. Rent a kid? No. Not everybody wants children. Whats the big deal?
2006-07-16 02:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not selfish, on the contrary more responsible than your friends. Children are quite a handful, and you're quite right at this point in your life to not want to have them. Later on in your life, you'll more than likely change your mind. Just make sure you're financially capable, as with children come more expenses.
2006-07-02 11:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a father and grandfather i would say no, actually its better to admit you dont want children at this time then to have kids like so many couples do and realize they have just made a huge "mistake" that they have to deal with for a long time when either one really didnt want children. Thats probably why nowadays so many parents end abusing their children so for Gods sake dont have children til you are absolutely sure and ready to make a lifetime committment
2006-07-02 11:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all are called to be moms and it is not selfish in fact it is very wise if you truly do not want kids it is best you need to be ready for kids and most people aren't maybe one day you will change your mind but go now enjoy life be yourself and there will be time later on
2006-07-02 11:39:39 · answer #10 · answered by jk poet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋