How do I put the fun back in my marriage?

Question

My husband and I had a long talk and realize the fun we used to have has been sapped out of our relationship. We are deeply in debt, not happy with our jobs, and can't afford to go out. Our time together is so serious minded we feel like we can't have fun anymore. We used to chat online and laugh talk on the phone for hours, about everything and nothing. So any suggestions how to put the fun back?

Answer 1

you don't need a lot of money to have fun with your hubby...tell him to meet you at a bar and pretend that you don't know each other, make up a name change you age even dress differently.. men love than kind of stuff. once you get home, keep in character and go wild... believe me he will be totally pleased and wanting more..

Answer 2

fun isn't expensive, it can be found anywhere. sounds like you need distractions, have a picnic in the living room, play badminton, dance in the living room, watch the food network then cook something new together, play games, start chatting again, look up jokes on the net, go to the park and swing on the swings. put the fun back by being fun, i know life is tough but you two sound like you have a collectively good head on your shoulders and are looking out for each other, thats great! also come up with a plan to reduce your debt, once you do that you can find jobs that will make you happier, there are all kinds of online resources for that these days and tons of shows on tv about it. make your lives less stressful before it takes a bigger toll than just lacking fun. good luck!

Answer 3

Hmmm, fun back in your marriage. You and your hubby should sit down and write together a list of fun things you used to do back then. Then mark those "fun things" that cost money and see what you end up with. If your list has more fun things tied to a dollar figure than free fun things, something is definitely wrong with your lives; maybe you don't know how to budget and that's how you ended up in deep debt. Maybe you enjoyed your time into debt.

If that's the case, if the past fun activities got you deep in debt, it's time you get marriage & financial counseling and get things in perspective. That'll require a LOT of sacrifice from both of you, getting rid of deeply ingrained financial habits and acquiring healthy ones. Like other responders have suggested, there is no need to spend money to have fun. Fun is a state of mind, not a state of your wallet.

Now it's time for you two to have fun finding ways to have free or inexpensive fun activities. Here are some suggestions: book reading, walking, hiking, bike riding, swimming, playing Scrabble or other board game, writing, photo viewing, doing house chores while singing or telling jokes; telling dumb jokes.

If you don't know how to have fun without diving into your wallet for that maxed-out credit card, you are two of the most boring humans on earth.

Answer 4

It's great that you were able to talk together and recognise the results of your current situation.
It's a shame that daily life can be such a drag. Do you have any hobbies that you used to enjoy? It would be great if there was something the two of you could do together that would also generate some money to work down that debt.
Can you get together some stuff and sell it on E-Bay? It would be an activity the two of you could do together and maybe get enthused about. If you were successful at it, buy more at yard sales and resell it. Perhaps it would evolve enough that you could quite the unhappy job(s).
Could one of you get subsidized to go to school or training for a different job. That's risky though since eventually it would add to your debt load.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Some of the time when people get older they slow down on the things they use to do, But I think the problem you both have now is the debt your are deeply in, I suggest that you put a little saving on the side where later you can both find something nice and enjoyable to do , don't worry be happy

Answer 6

did you now it is to be creative.. if you can think of it you can do it.. you can put the spice in your life by thinking like a teenager who HAS NO MONEY.. they go to the park and the girl gets all cutiz up and the boy brings the frizbe and pigtails and short shorts and tank top.. no bra' get it.. and run around like kids.. then enjoy the night with a walk and a quicky in the park.. shhhhhh night time..

you can go get the tennis balls and wear lingera' under your short short minni skirt.. and snaped shrit.. at 10:30pm and then when there is no one on the cort open up for a fun night of eyes getting a peek of delight.. then off on a quick walk in the park again and Shhhhhh night time...

you can go to the park do the same thing but bring a dinner from the house and go play cards get all cutzie and just giggles with the music boom box and your hubby checking you out.. walk in the park with a nice big hugg..

you can get some bollons and a card table or a just a picknick in the frontroom and blar the music with a bordgame blowing up the bollones and then popping them is so much fun for adults..

you can get on the bikes and go for a late night ride in the park the stop off and get some icream and share a banan split and feed each other..

you can take bubble baths and put the candles on the music and get out the oils.. and have a night [not sex].. just massages and brushing your hair and touching .... kissing.. just be teens agers who have not had it yet..

go to the lake and park and kiss and fish and get in the back seat and then go home...

be creative.. mama giggles 44yrs old

Answer 7

I have had the same problems with my marriage. My answer, you are choosing to be too serious with your marriage. I realized that with my money problems, all you can do is pay what you can, figure out how to create a little extra cash flow without sacrificing your time together and let the stressers go once you have dealt with them. You probably worry about the things that cause you stress and then that is all you talk about. Am I close on that? If so....STOP IT!! Set aside just enough time to sit down together and deal with the serious topics, then let them rest. Concentrate on each other after that. Why worry and dwell on what you can no longer do anything about? Overall....just have fun with each other, it really is that easy. As long as you let it be.

Answer 8

Probably spending too much time and money to try to keep up with the Jones's. Get back to simple things, do simple things together that cost little or no money. watch your favorite program on a 19" color TV instead of that 3 to 4 thousand dollar state of the art entertainment center that I bet you are falling behind on, sports car, boat, etc? Think Simple! Don't let corporate commercialism brain wash your better sensibilities. My fiancee' and I have a lot of fun doing simple things, and we hardly ever argue because we let each other be ourselves doing simple things. If your not happy with your job..well find a new place to work, or switch jobs with us..LOL...Try driving cab at night for a living (me), see how happy that makes you. She's a secretary/book keeper with day time hours. Happy with our jobs? Not exactly, but we make do by cherishing the time we spend together.

Answer 9

You are letting yourselves be too serious....let the "inner child" come out and play...quit being so uptight....laugh at yourselves....suprise him with something..wear something sexy to bed, take a shower together, make a homecooked meal together, flirt, touch, kiss, tickle, wrestle, take a walk, see who can look each other in the eye the longest without smiling, bring some sex toys home, try a new position, maybe play a game or two, go out for drinks, lunch, movies, a date, giggle, tell inside jokes, and remember what made you fall in love to begin with....relive your wedding day, or a special day to you...go somewhere that has a special meaning to both of you, be friends first, talk about when you first met & what were your thoughts back then, or maybe even write him a love letter and slip it in his lunch, leave him a sexy message and make him anticipate coming home to you...be creative!!

I wish you the best...hope I've been of some use to you. Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

Make a list of some fun things you can do together. Cook a new dinner, picnic, walk in the park...etc. Write them on small pieces of paper and put them in a bowl. Once a week draw one out of the bowl and do what ever it says. You get to do things that you like to do but it adds some spontaneity to it because you never know what you are going to get. You can also put some things like foot rubs in it. That helps to bring back some of the intimacy into your relationship. So you can re-learn how to have fun together again.

Answer 11

Do not think about the things you DON`T have, it is time to think about the good. Looking back to the way things were will not get you anywhere. Thinking about how you would like things to be is the key. Sounds like you guys need to be happy with yourselfs first before you can be happy together. The Job situation needs to be taken care of, because that alone puts a stress on the situation. Good Luck