Should I tell my father's new wife that he was abusive toward my mother while they were married?

Question

He got married last summer and did not tell anyone until my sister got down there to visit. He then lied about when he got married saying that is was the previous week and in reality it was month before. His wife apparently does not care about me and my sisters. I was thinking about telling her but she has been nothing but rude to me and has even encouraged our father to cut us off financially, while we are in the middle of getting our college education at some of the most prestigious schools in the US. Then here is the kicker, about two or three days ago, my sisters called my father to see how he was and he told them that new wife is pregnant and she's due in about four months. This perhaps is why my father cut us off but with her urging from what I understand. My aunt told me that she had something to do with it. I'm thinking now that I should not tell her, what do you think?

I forgot to mention that my father also cheated on my mother many times. He's not only physically abusive but mentally too. He abused me, on two occassions physically. He finds time to embarrass me when he can.

Answer 1

I guess you can call me a noisy busybody but definitely tell her what she is in for. She probably don't want to hear this but she will find out in time. When she does she will thank you for telling her. At least she will be aware. She may start looking at the signs. You don't owe her a thing. I admire someone like you who would even consider doing this very thing. If only my husbands ex wife had did me this favor so long ago. I would have welcomed the insight. At that time it could have made a big difference in my life.

Answer 2

it's a difficult one...because in one hand it's your father and we should never do something bad to him or to our mother, but in the other side none should suffer with abuses...
the situation gets worse because his new wife is not nice to you and treats you and your sister bad! probably if you don't tell her, you will feel bad because you see a person suffering. But it's your father!! and a father is always a father!!
I think you should step a side, it's their problem and you would get some to you if you say something...

good luck

Answer 3

Well if you start seeing signs of him being abusive to his new wife. If he isn't don't bother. It will make problems worse and don't take it out on the baby. You are an adult and you don't want the baby to have a bad life with out its father. so just chill.

Answer 4

As long as he isn't hurting her and their relationship is going well you should stay out of their business. Maybe, he just couldn't stand your mom and this woman makes him want to be a better man. Apparently, they're hitting it off well. You seem to be a wild hair in your father's wife's ***. Nonetheless, I hope you work things out. Get rid of the bad blood. Be civil.

Answer 5

If she is nothin but rude to you and wants nothing to do with you then i wouldn't tell her for the simple fact that it sounds like she wants your father to herself and there is nothing noone can do. I would just try to keep in contact with your father for as long as you can and hope he doesn't let her rule him.

Answer 6

If you told her...so what. What could she do? He might not abuse her. If he does I imagine she will get out too.
time will tell.

Answer 7

no... mind your own and stay away from them... normal people have to live life without financial help from parents....so grow up.

Answer 8

let he know you are concerned for her safety. But be discreet..you don't want to endanger her or yourself.

Answer 9

no you shouldn't unless her life is in danger. let her figure it out on her own.

Answer 10

Well, do what you think is right. Time is ticking!