2006-07-02 10:00:49 · 24 answers · asked by akk345 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1.Divorce him and take him for all he's got; 2. Retail Therapy;
3. A younger man (or two ) for yourself- yum yum!
2006-07-02 10:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.Foster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is this his first affair? Do you still love him, has he apologized and told you he is sorry? (they all say that) Do you believe him? Do you want to try and work this out. Know that you CAN forgive, but you probably won't ever forget. And if you decide to take him back, you need to sit down and talk to him about the whole thing then ask questions you even hate to hear the answers too, but it will help for you to not bring it up in the future. If you do do this, you Can't bring it up against him in the future. You have to let it go. Also get counseling if you have to. first by yourself then after a few weeks of it bring him in with you. Then you move forward and make your life the happiest in the world and don't ever look back. BUT if it ever happens again tell him you promised your self that you would never go through this again and tell him good bye and let him know this now too. But don't say it in a hateful way, just tell him and let him know there is no kidding about it. Good Luck!
2006-07-02 17:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is not an easy thing to do... my ex-husband, well actually two of them had affairs on me.. and i think marriage is based on a lot of trust and after they did that to me i lost the trust i had..things were never the same...it hurt me so much that they could go out and do that.. not only was we suppose to be as one.. another woman had been with my husband and that i just could not ever get out of my head.. and i know this that if they did it once well when will they do it again.. i wasted 23 years with a abusive , adulteress man and i regret it today.. now i am older and i am alone....i am not ugly but i cannot really trust in people much anymore... one of my husbands was with my best friend..they say counseling well i have did that too.. i think if a man truly loves is wife and goes by his marriage vows he should be faithful... what if i had did this to him.. he would of half killed me......so you can either try and work on it if you love him so much still, but i wish you all the luck in the world... and learning to trust him again is a big issue.. and why would he go out with another woman if he loved you and i know i was doing all i could do be a good wife....so it is your decision....some wives to give 2nd chances and may be they make it... but i doubt if ever really leaves there mind....
2006-07-02 17:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Texas nailed this one.
The problem is that when a partner has cheated you have a tendency to want to get even ... it doesn't have to be cheating it can be other things just to hurt the other person because they have it coming ... right? Well. that's the problem. It's not a good way to live. If you have a spiritual base ... if you can pray together you can get through this. Secular couples are left too much to their own devices ... and I'd expect things to get much worse. If you don't have therapy or church ... an outside support group ...end it now. It'll be safer.
2006-07-02 17:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Shattered trust is not easy to rebuild. It would be hard not to wonder if he was going to do it again. If you've chosen to stay with him, then apparently you trust that he will be faithful in the future. Do you know the reason why (he says) he cheated? Have the two of you discussed that and made any attempt to rectify whatever the issue was?
Keep communication open...perhaps some counseling for you both?
2006-07-02 17:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is easy. Doing what the answer requires is hard. Get a divorce. A marriage is over when a partner cheats. A marriage requires trust. Once that's gone, you have nothing but a legal fiction. End it.
2006-07-09 09:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but you never get over it. As time passes you may think less of it but certain things that may happen will always remind you of the betrayal. Your husband just has to reassure you that it will not happen again and her really has to try and gain your trust back.
2006-07-02 18:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by zakaramommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him enough to give him a second chance, you are already on your way of getting over his indiscretion. This doesn't mean that you have to be stupid. If there are signs of infidelity in the future, you will have to take whatever actions you deem necessary, and his credibility is now worse than ever.
2006-07-02 17:05:54 · answer #8 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything, don't blame yourself.....no matter what he says, it is not your fault....he is grown like you, if he was not happy with something in the marriage, he should have came to you to talk. It is going to take some therapy, praying and taking care of yourself. If you want to save the marriage, find out if he wants to also, if so seek marriage counseling and/or your clergy at your church. Good Luck!!
2006-07-02 17:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by beaderlovinglife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in this lifetime. He changed the playing field completely and it is his to own. You'll never trust him and will always feel indadequate because of it and he'll just have to deal with your feelings. Sorry about his luck, but he lost your trust and that was his choice when he couldn't keep it in his pants.
2006-07-02 17:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by folklore 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first step is for him to understand this is not acceptable
behavior. when he says sorry if he means sorry you
found out or sorry you are being shirty about if then
there is nothing to build forgivness on. shuck his
cheating a**. if he is genuinely sorry he betrayed your
trust and is willing to work with you on this, you might
have a chance. it was his act of betrayal, and getting
over it is not your problem alone. that will just set you
up for more and worse down the road.
2006-07-02 17:07:12 · answer #11 · answered by agedlioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋